Posts tagged with “wisdom”
Please Don’t Fix Me: What True Empathy Is (And Isn’t)
“No one mentioned until I was in late middle age that—horribly!—my good, helpful ideas for other grown-ups were not helpful. That my help was in fact sometimes toxic. That people needed to defend themselves from my passionate belief that I had good ideas for other people’s lives. I did not know that help is the sunny side of control.” ~Anne Lamott
I’m a well-meaning empath.
If you share your problems with me, I’ll quickly make them my own. I’ll listen intently, feel deeply, and want to help. I’ll give you advice and solutions you didn’t ask for, then be annoyed …
Making Big Decisions: How to Discern the Whispers of Your Soul
“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
“I can’t believe they are taking her side over mine. I gave this job so many years, and she decides to walk in and mess it all up for me,” I said to my husband.
A few years back, when I was working full time at my corporate job, I got into a disagreement with a team member. It spiraled out of control to the point where my boss then had to have a sit-down with us. I was so humiliated and angry that he could not see my side.
They …
How Perfectionism and Anxiety Made Me Sick and What I Wish I Knew Sooner
“Perfectionism is the exhausting state of pretending to know it all and have it all together, all the time. I’d rather be a happy mess than an anxious stress case who’s always trying to hide my flaws and mistakes.” ~Lori Deschene
“That’s not how you do it!” I slammed the door as I headed outside, making sure my husband understood what an idiot he was. He’d made the appalling mistake of roasting potatoes for Thanksgiving instead of making stuffing.
He was cooking while I studied, trying to make sure I got a semblance of a holiday. We lived away from …
5 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People
“No matter what you do, someone won’t be pleased. Someone will think your choices are wrong. And someone will tell you what you should do instead. No matter which path you take, someone will seem to be doing better. Someone will have more than you. And someone else’s life may look more impressive on paper. If you’re being true to yourself, none of that will matter because you’ll have something more satisfying than approval and the illusion of “success”: a life that feels right for you, based on your own wants, needs, values, and priorities.” ~Lori Deschene
Have you ever …
Are You Sick of Waiting, Wanting, and Wishing for a Better Life?
“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” ~Walter Elliott
I often find myself impatient with the pace of my progress. Waiting for my life to move forward can sometimes feel like I’m watching paint dry.
There are so many moments when we feel like our life is at a standstill. This is generally where I double down with my intensity. I hit it with everything I can. The crash comes soon after from the inevitable violent collision of my mind, body, and spirit as they’re pushed beyond their limits.
The idea of having …
When Things Have to Change: How to Find the Willpower to Achieve Your Goals
“When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius
Do you want to know my biggest fear?
I’ve just come out of the closet, my parents have rejected me, and I am terrified, really, really terrified, because I’m completely alone, and the pain is unbearable.
But it’s not just the rejection that terrifies me—it’s also what happens after that.
With no one to turn to, I find comfort at the bottom of a bag of chips.
Three months and thirty pounds later I’ve yet to leave the confines of my bedroom. …
What Your Anger Is Trying to Tell You and How to Hear It
“When we embrace anger and take good care of our anger, we obtain relief. We can look deeply into it and gain many insights.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
It just took a few words from my husband before I felt my body move from calm to a boiling cauldron of rage. My whole being was alight, in flames. Energy felt like it was moving through me and shattering everything inside me.
I hated it. Anger is so intense, and so big, that most of us can’t bear to feel it in our bodies.
I wanted to do a lot of …
The Simplest Ways to Find Calm in the Middle of Life’s Constant Chaos
“When you are resting because you are worn out, you need to remember that you are not wasting time. You are doing exactly what you need to do. You are recovering.” ~Unknown
I woke up at 3am when I heard my alarm ring. I slowly pulled my arm away from my son, who was half holding my arm and half lying on it, so that he didn’t wake up. I tip-toed out of bed while my husband and my son were sleeping.
My eyes ached and were blurry from sleep deprivation. My head felt like I was floating in …
How I Broke My Stress Eating Habit When Nothing Else Worked
“The pain seems so much more difficult than the cookies. But it’s not. The pain covered in cookies becomes pain covered in fat covered in more pain.” ~Brooke Castillo
Do you ever eat when you’re stressed, sad, tired, alone?
Bag of chips after a hard day?
Ordering the take-out when your partner’s away?
I did.
Seven years ago, my newborn baby cried every evening.
I’d feed her, change her, and blow raspberries on her neck. Still, she screamed—like a smoke alarm you couldn’t stop.
I tried singing to her, burping her, begging her…
I felt useless, desperate.
In my journalism …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.