Are you living the life you’ll want to see when you reflect back at ninety years old? Studies show that the biggest regret from elderly people on their deathbed is not what they did; it’s what they didn’t do: the risks they never took.
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boes
In October of 2010 I was engaged after only three weeks of dating. I was scared to tell my family, but I was terrified to tell my father. My parents divorced when I was five, and I couldn’t spend weekends at Dad’s because he lived thousands of miles away. I saved him for last and decided to take the cowardly way out by emailing him.
It was not the best decision I’ve ever made. Not only did it infuriate and hurt him, it ended up producing …
“In the end what matters most is: How well did you live? How well did you love? How well did you learn to let go?” ~Unknown
In a matter of days, it was all gone: the role in a company I adored, the future I had imagined, and our friend Max, so loved by all who knew him.
The loss washed over me in a sudden gust. I was being called to begin again, to re-examine what I thought was important. And, in facing the feelings that arose with being stripped abruptly of these attachments, the inessential was forced to …
“Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz
I grew up on a small cattle farm in the very small farming town of Savannah, Missouri with my grandfather and great grandparents.
My great grandmother used to sit outside on the back porch and string green beans or peel apples when the weather was mild, a worn dish towel over her knee and an ancient paring knife moving with practiced ease. As a very small child I would often sit with her, watching, and sometimes we would talk.
One …
“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan
Some might say I was a late bloomer. I only discovered how powerful I really was at twenty-nine.
My childhood and teenage years were horrific; I was severely bullied from when I first walked through the school gates to when I left for the last time. In my early formative years I was laughed at, verbally abused, and completely socially isolated.
I was the equivalent of a lepper. No one wanted to be my friend for fear they would “catch” what I had and be bullied themselves. …
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen
“Oh, my god,” she said, “I forgot to shave my left leg!”
That may not sound like a particularly dramatic announcement, but Jenny and I were sharing a seat on the chartered bus taking our senior class to the beach for “Senior Cut Day” a few weeks before graduation, and her discovery horrified me.
An unshaved leg, it seemed to me at the time, was scandalous in the extreme.
Had it been me who forgot to …
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~Albert Einstein
I had drawn a line so deep in the sand about who I was.
I was certain I was on my way to becoming a better version of me.
And then.
Water rushed in, softening that line, revealing that I was part of something much bigger than I saw myself to be.
Something much bigger than I could control myself into.
So many children grow up with circumstances far …
“It’s not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau
I was slipping deeper into a dark spiral after my fortieth birthday, looking for anything to grab onto and pull myself out of the darkness. Some said I was having a midlife crisis, but I believe it was actually the beginning of an awakening for me. For the sake of argument, I’ll call it a midlife awakening.
This by no means meant that I understood the meaning of life and was all of a sudden enlightened and happy—quite the …
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown
I realized I’m going to die soon.
Not, you know, imminently. But soon. Even sixty is soon. Seventy, eighty, ninety, still soon. And I’ll be lucky if I get that old.
I’m going to die.
What’s gotten into me? Maybe it’s the Robin Williams story. That would make sense. A loss that’s shocking really resets your perspective.
Life is fleeting, it’s brief. Even if it’s what we’d consider a long life, it’s short.
This was a thought of mine in the shower today.
I think …
“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over.” ~Mandy Hale
Heartbreak. It’s a hard thing to go through. And the pain—it’s real, isn’t it? Like tangible pain. Almost as if that person, throughout the time we were with them, emblazoned our hearts with tiny little hooks and, one by one, they’re being wrenched out. Sounds dramatic, but that’s how it felt to me!
This recent breakup has been the most significant in my life so far. …
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung
I’ve experienced many degrees of anger throughout my life.
There’s the fleeting and mild kind of anger that hit me when I realized I forgot to pack my toothbrush, or when a friend was tardy again for our morning hike.
Then, there’s the corroding and strong kind of anger that I felt when I discovered that my husband had been lying to me for months.
Half-truths about his after-work activities and the people he met during those activities led to an affair, and …
“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” ~John Green
I remember growing up in a lonely home. My parents were distant, and it seemed they didn’t care much about me. Their lives were all about them, so I didn’t care much about them.
My sister and I hated Christmas and New Year’s Eve because we never got any gifts or toys during that period.
We used to be so lonely at home, and we couldn’t play with the neighbors’ kids because our parents didn’t allow it. I grew up having no friends, up until …
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust
It’s taken me a while, but I have finally learned to appreciate aspects of my own impatience.
For a long time I did not like this quality about myself. I am still working on becoming more patient, because impatience and I go way back.
I was impatient to get out of high school, so I fast tracked that whole experience.
I was impatient to get working, so I started working when I was fourteen.
I was impatient to finish university, so …
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia
We all want to be happy, but sometimes we hold ourselves back from that possibility. It can be a sad but liberating truth. We all have that voice inside our head. You know the one I’m talking about. Sometimes we listen even when we know we shouldn’t.
That voice is most often the source of our own self-sabotage. That voice can be the cause of our own misery.
I know because I used to listen to this voice—every single day, all the time. …
*The deadline to submit a story has now passed. Thank you to everyone who submitted one! You will receive an email by the end of November if I’d like to include your story in the book.
When I started this site in 2009, after struggling for over a decade with depression, bulimia, and shame-induced isolation, I hoped it would be a place where we could all feel less alone with our struggles and more empowered to overcome them. I’m beyond thrilled to see that’s just what Tiny Buddha has become.
Over the past five years, I’ve been honored to help …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Click here to read more.
