September 24, 2018 at 7:58 am #226965
Yes Until I forget my past completely I will not be able to move on. Even God will not open doors for me and help me if I am not ready to let go my past.
So yes I will try my best to completely shut him off from my life and focus on my future.
Thank you once again Anita.
RishaSeptember 24, 2018 at 8:22 am #226977
You are very welcome. It is interesting: you wrote, “I will try my best to completely shut him off from my life”. He already shut you off. It is about accepting this reality that he did that, and that the relationship really is over. Then the sadness can do the job of moving you along that tunnel, so that you can reach the other side and see light again, even better, brighter light.
anitaSeptember 24, 2018 at 9:08 am #226987
Eventhough it affects my self esteem i have to accept the truth that he left me. I was always a strong soul untill this incident happened. He was surprised the way i was behaving coz i always had an attitude. Anyways im sure i can find the light that i deserve and i will work hard to achieve what i want in life.
RishaSeptember 24, 2018 at 9:17 am #226991
I do hope your life is and will be way more than about what he did and him leaving you. Reads to me that he was not such an asset to your life. You saw something about him or about his feelings for you, something beyond what it really was. In reality, he was not such a great asset to you.
I think it is quite true, don’t you think, that in reality he wasn’t that much of an asset to you, and was not likely to be if you were to marry him?
anitaSeptember 24, 2018 at 9:56 am #227009
Anita im so surprised the way you have have judged him yes he was not a asset to me in life. Meaning – his love was only calling, messaging, giving attention, intetfering into my activities, suspecting me, blaming me. But he did nothing to my well beign.
Even if i need advise he gives the dumbest possible advise. I mean he always wanted a kushi life with no struggle no stress spending lavishly and a bit of a show off. On the other hand im totally oppositte im his support system. I have helped him so many ways. Even financially. Whereever he is today in life its all bcoz of me. He knows he can count on me anytime. I gave my heart and sould in evety aspect of his life. I go to the extend of helping him to do the best. But i never got that in returm Anita.
To be honest i have struggled a lot in life and i know what hardships are. I have reached this place today with a lot of struggle. And since my siblings are away i took care of my parents my dad was a bit sick so i had lot of responsibilities and after he passed away i still have few personal commitments. Sometimes he laughs at me saying i have no life im such a boring person. My siblings are using me. Etc. He abuses me a lot saying i bave connections with other ppl. But i tolarated eveything n i saw lot of selfishness in him.
He always wants to see me but if refuse he abuses me in filth i know u will be surprised to read this. We were basically like Tom & Jerry always fighting but couldnt stay without each other.
But he was the only man i had after my dad left me and that was a strength for me he just been there. Apart from that he was never supportive to me.
I use to tell him if he had so many negative stuff to say about me he can skways leave but then he says i tell you all these things bcoz i love u and i will never lrave u.
So now i realized all what he meant about me is true he was just waiting coz he was not able to find someone else. Once he found he just walked out.
RishaSeptember 24, 2018 at 10:12 am #227023
Yes knowing what kind of a person he is now if im to get married to him someday he will always keep blaming me if we had to go thru any hardships. Coz when i last met him he did agree to convince his parents n stop that proposal at that point he told me. ‘ u re important to me and i can marry u but i have to leave my family n we should leave the country but u have to look into all financial matters coz i cant afford to do anything. I was shocked to hear that. If he really wanted me he could have told lets work out something n go abroad. But those words were very hurtful. I actually can afford to work out something for both of us coz im quite stable and i did have a plan if he says yes to me. But his response was very hurtful.September 24, 2018 at 10:23 am #227027
Sorry first I didn’t read all above conversation, but yet I understand little bit… I give you a basic advice to overcome all this because I already feel this situation in my life and you will get strength soon…. it takes time but when you win to get this emotion in your self then you find yourself happy…
First I want to know that , his parents don’t to marry there son with you that’s why he left you ? I mean what’s a reason and if he find anyone else then I will moved out with her?September 24, 2018 at 12:06 pm #227135
I want to read your recent two posts attentively and I will be able to do so tomorrow morning, which is about fifteen hours from now. Will reply to you when I am back. Please take good care of yourself.
anitaSeptember 24, 2018 at 5:14 pm #227327
Thank u AnitaSeptember 24, 2018 at 9:54 pm #227339
Hi Anita, I Just got to know that the trip that he went during the weekend is a office trip. Though we work together he works in a different department and a different location. So I just got to know today that the trip was with his office friends and not with that girl.
I know this is something that shouldn’t matter to me coz whatever that he does is not relavant to me anymore. But just thought of sharing it with you.
RishaSeptember 25, 2018 at 5:29 am #227381
I didn’t understand this statement: “he abuses me in filth”- bad words, you mean?
He told you at one point: “we should leave the country but u have to look into all financial matters coz I can’t afford to do anything”-
well, personally I feel no loss regarding the relationship ending, no loss for you, that is. Having communicated with you for a while, you appear to me as a very intelligent woman, engaging, md interesting, likeable, and very capable and practical. So I figure there have been very few available (single, not way too young or way too old, somewhat functional) men to consider for a relationship seven years ago when he entered your life, as well as before and after. So you settled for what was available to you. Am I correct?
anitaSeptember 25, 2018 at 6:12 am #227385
Yes Anita I meant bad words. He use a lot of bad words when hes angry and later says he does it bcoz he loves me. I got a lot of proposals before i met him but i was not happy with any. I never felt anything towards anyone n also i spoke to few and nothing clicked so i was fed up thats where i met him and from the first instance itself i started to like him. I know he too felt the same way. Even when i wss with him i got proposals but i didnt cinsider any coz i was madly in love with him and i still do.
Yes im very practical, down to earth, too helpful, too kind, and i always put others first than my own priorities. Thats what has put me into this situation.September 25, 2018 at 6:25 am #227389
The thought it is his loss that the relationship ended came to my mind a moment ago, so I thought I’d share it with you, his loss, seems to me. He may realize it himself and look for you, maybe after he gets married. Please do not be “too helpful, too kind” to him at that point!
I suppose you saw the best in him through the offensive words he used, his ridiculous excuse for using those words (“bcoz he loves me”), and so much more of his unappealing behaviors. Something about him appealed to you. Maybe it was the boy inside him, for in each man there is a lovable boy. Maybe you felt compassion for that boy. It is a shame that the man that he became is way less loving and lovable than the boy inside him.
What was it that appealed to you about him?
anitaSeptember 25, 2018 at 6:28 am #227393
And yes anita when i met him the last time i agreed to marry him then he said hes ok but if we r going abroad i have to take care all arrangments financially n he has to find a way to commincate his parents that he doesnt want that proposal. After i cam home he changed n told he has to take his parents side even if i get hurt he cant help it n he cannot marry meSeptember 25, 2018 at 6:54 am #227397
What appealed me was the way he loved me Anita. To be honest he always made me alive meaning i got the maximum attention, the calls, the messages the way he pleads the way he comes running to see me. If i didnt answer he becomes restless he comes looking for n stands righr in front of me. Wherever i go whatevet i do hes just there with me. So i cant imagine a person like him changed so fast. Whenever i block him he waits outside my home. Comes to my work place i dunno Anita no matter how much i tried to stay away from him he somehow gets back to me