I hope that you passed your driver’s license test, Lea.

anita

Dear Lea:

You “sound” excited about it, telling by the three exclamation marks! Keep the excitement positive and take a few deeper, slower breaths once in a while. Let me/ Everyone know how you did, after the test is over, will you?

anita

You are welcome. I am looking forward to read from you next!

anita

Dear Lea:

I am sorry for your second pet loss of recent: your dog. Did it happen after your D.L test, or before?

anita

Dear Lea:

She was 15. I read online that a 15 year old small breed dog is equal to 76 human years, and a 15 year old large breed is equal to 93 human years. What was her name, did she ever have puppies, what breed was she?

anita

Dear Lea:

I am sorry to see that you deleted your account  because I thought that our 9-pages of conversation was loaded with helpful thoughts and sentiments, for  you and for me. I respect your choice to delete your account and I am not pressuring you in any way to reactivate it. So, please feel comfortable- if you are reading this- to not reply to me. There will be no second post submitted by me to you for as long as your account is deactivated.

There are a lot of good ideas that we exchanged in this thread (and in my own threads), and even though something felt wrong to you in regard to our recent communication, I hope that sometime in the future, you will re-read and study our communication- as well as your communication with other members-  because it can be helpful to you. You said it yourself when you posted this to me throughout your thread: “I cannot express to you how thanful I am for all your help… Than you for sharing all that information… Anita, this was so helpful!!! Especially the part you mentioned: … I never thought about things in this way, I gasped when I read this section… I’m going to focus on what you said today and put it into practice… this is extremely helpful“.

It seems to me that you didn’t like something about our recent communication, but please don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.

I was not surprised that you deleted your account because early on Tuesday morning, I submitted a short, positive message addressed to you: “Dear Lea: You are a hard worker: in the field and in the farm. I do hope that you sleep in this morning”.  Later on Tuesday, you submited a post but you did you mention my name, nor did you refer to the content of my last message. Instead, you addressed it to “Everyone“. You didn’t do this earlier, so it caught my attention.

Because you didn’t receive any replies on Tuesday from any other member, and I didn’t want you to go unanswered, I addressed a post to you on Wednesday morning. You answered it, but deleted your account later on Wednesday.

Maybe you felt guilty regarding what we discussed in regard to your parents. Maybe you felt that our conversation wasn’t helpful after all because you were still feeling anxious/ very anxious. Maybe you disagreed with me but didn’t express your disagreement and therefore felt that you were betraying yourself (you wrote on May 6: “I tend to just agree with whatever they say because I don’t want to upset them- then I feel like I’m betraying myself later”).

I don’t know and I missed an opportunity to learn something new because you deleted your account without explaining your reason or reasons. If you do not reply to this (and again, it’s okay if you don’t)- get well, Lea, my sincere best wishes to you, and goodbye.

anita

Dear Leaagain:

I am pleasantly surprised. I don’t think that it ever happened on the forums that a member who deleted her/ his account returned to it. I am impresses: you are indeed exceptional, I knew it!

I will read and reply further in an hour or so.

anita

two years ago (just before covid) when I was at a social event for the university I currently am attending, lots of people approached me with small talk. I was completely surprised but the weird interest in talking to me. most people just said hello how are you etc. one girl came up and started chatting about how she had heard of me from a girl I was friends with way back when I was 13. She wanted me to grab a coffee with her and her friends after the event. I remember telling her: “nice to meet you, but I can’t.” She was like: “are you busy we could do another time?” I said and I quote: “No, I’m not busy, it’s just- you do not want to be friends with me, I tend to wreck things and make people feel really bad. I hope you have a great day.” I was looking out her her and her little friend group. I walked away. She was dumbfounded. The ‘friend’ who had told this girl about me had told me that sentence before.

My honest question Anita is:

What could I possibly have done to these people my old ‘friends’ my ‘family members’? Because whatever I did must have been pretty bad. Am I missing something? I must be.