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I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love

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  • #458653
    Confused
    Participant

    I think so too, and it must be what copilot said about attachment styles.. Today we texted for 13-14 hours and i felt really good around evening, i was calling her babe and she liked it and i was excited. Comes night, i get the doubts again haha.

    Yes that makes sense too, my brain devaluing the relationship/etc to avoid getting dumped. But sometimes i look at other people and i wonder “do they have an attachment to a SO? how are they maintaining it? Do they miss each other every hour? Do they feel the need to talk with their SO all the time?”

    #458654
    anita
    Participant

    It’s like “if I love her, I’ll get terribly hurt” (Fear of emotional pain),

    “If I don’t love her, I won’t get hurt”.

    So, when Love goes up, so does the Fear, and your 🧠 responds by “killing” the love,

    But Confused is a loving person and she is truly lovable, so Love resurfaces, fun and affection..

    And next- even if you don’t feel the Fear- 🧠 is in the habit of protecting you from anticipated emotional pain by producing emotional shutdowns and intrusive thoughts.

    🐔 Anita (Copilot is not involved in the above, using my phone)

    #458655
    anita
    Participant

    Double posting: I sent my last message before reading your last message. Back later

    #458656
    anita
    Participant

    Back sooner than later: about other people- those who are fortunate enough to grow up in stable homes with emotionally regulated parents who don’t fight and leave again and again-

    I imagine that for them, Love and Peace coexist.

    Not Love and Fear.

    So no shutdowns, no intrusive doubting thoughts, etc.

    🐔 Anita

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