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I love him but I'm suddenly not "in love"

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This topic contains 37 replies, has 18 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 6 months, 1 week ago.

Viewing 8 posts - 31 through 38 (of 38 total)
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  • #191791

    Lilo
    Participant

    I’m going through the exact same situation as Mickey and Jaz. And if y’all are still there, I just wanted to know how everything turned out in your relationship. I don’t know if I am overthinking this unsure feeling or if it’s really telling me that maybe I’m not meant to be with my boyfriend. Any input would be really helpful.

    #196727

    Micky
    Participant

    Dear Lilo,

    I and my boyfriend are really going well now. It has been 4 months since I had that experience. I am so glad that I made it through without losing the man I really love. Although I still experience that uncertain feeling from time to time (the last one was in the first week of January), I communicate with my boyfriend every time I experience it. I communicate with him the thoughts I have and we resolve it together. Also, I've always decided to choose to love whatever emotions I have at the moment which become a lot of help in our relationship.

    I hope my reply helps you. And please do not be too hard on yourself (because I did) and take your time to understand what you truly feel.

    #196729

    Micky
    Participant

    I still feel the uncertainty sometimes, but is not that intense anymore. I think I have learned how to detach myself from negative thoughts through accepting and acknowledging the thoughts/feelings and then detaching myself from it.

    Also, I always bear in mind that we cannot fall out of love accidentally. I believe that the love we feel for someone will not go away without our consent.

    • This reply was modified 6 months, 2 weeks ago by  Micky.
    #196969

    Mark
    Participant

    Micky,

    To honor Jaz's posting, please create another post for yourself and your question so we can address what is going on directly to you rather than hijacking Jaz's posting.

    Mark

    #198705

    Charley
    Participant

    We're not in an official relationship but we both like eachother, we hug and cuddle a lot. Friday I'm going to see her and thats when I planned to ask her out. But suddenly last I was laying in bed and I thought, wait, no, why? I just randomly lost that passion i had felt for her for for months. Being with her was special, her face glowed more than anyone else's. But now suddenly it doesnt. But I have such a strong desire to love her, to feel that passion I felt. I thought we were perfect for eachother, but now I sit here and agonize over why I'm NOT loosing my mind just by looking at her.

    If this thread is still alive please help. Im in one of the darkest states I've ever been in and am contimplating suicide.

    #199481

    ackapiyi
    Participant

    I experience the same thing nowadays. It's been 2 weeks since we got together but I feel tired of him, already. I started this with so much passion and love for him and I still want him to be happy. He's so nice and worth everything. I don't know what to do. I'll leave it to time for now but I'm confused and I hate myself because of those thoughts.

    #205603

    Myr
    Participant

    Hello. I am going through the same experience as Jaz and Micky described. Micky,Jaz if you're still there, please give more advice. It would be so helpful.

    #210953

    Alix
    Participant

    Hello everyone I’ve found this forum and it’s really given me comfort because I thought I was the only one and idk how active it still is but I really wanted to share my story and how I felt and what happened to me, so I’m young only 16 and I’ve been dating this amazing boy for a year and a half everything is great he recently started going to this school for away that he lived at but still in high school and he’d always come home once a month every time I’d be more than excited to see him. Everything was fine we did argue quite a bit but I feel like it’s kind of normal for teens and they were usually stupid and then we’d go back to loving each other like always. Recently something strange happened I think I have bad anxiety but I’m not sure when I took my drivers test the night before I couldn’t sleep I would throw up and shake because of how nervous I was and idk why. My dad did do some things nothing physical more emotional for me that I think could be playing out now in my relationship I went to a therapist once not much clarity for me. Recently he’s gotten a new girlfriend and he took me my boyfriend and his girlfriend to a trip to Disney. This was my third time kind of meeting her and she never really starts any conversations or anything, but I was extremely excited My boyfriend and I cuddled all the way down to Florida and were really happy and goofy played some games. And the next day went to Disney had funny got a little annoyed with each other at somet points but I assumed because it was hot and we were exhausted and I was hangry. Once we got back we made a poppincookin had lots and lots of fun. And he wanted to cuddle and I love cuddling but I just wasn’t in the mood idk why I just didn’t really want to be held. Next day went to Disney kind of same thing got a little annoyed but it was nothing crazy bad still had lots of fun. But I was being a little distant not wanting to cuddle too much and was a little moody and I didn’t think much of it until that night He wanted to cuddle and I was like no please get out of my bed I’m not in the mood and he was really upset. And I got in bed and then he got in his and asked me “Do you even care about me anymore?” And that’s when it all started. I didn’t know what to say I was like do I care? Why am I kind of being distant? Do I love him? And I was like yeah I do but I didn’t really know and idk why I could be so happy with him (mostly) for the trip and otw down to Disney and then feel like this. Then everything was quite for a bit and I just still felt like I needed to talk so we kind of talked and he got next to me and right when he got near me my heart was pounding fast not in a good way and I was shaking and my hands were tingly and I had a sudden urge to throw up and I immediately went to the bathroom and barfed. I felt calm and better once I threw up but we started talking again and I was telling him how sometimes I don’t want be held and Idk why and sometimes I love you more than others and I think that’s normal to want to put up with someone and then not want to sometimes? And we kept talking and I threw up two more times then I finally felt content and he was really supportive and I was like crying and saying how handsome I still think he is and I was able to kiss him and feel good about it and it calmed me and then I kissed his arm and I said ily and then we went to bed. But immediately when I woke up I was starving but had no appetite and my heart started racing and that was the day we were going home and I couldn’t get near him or touch him or anything so he packed for me and sat distant from me in the car and my dad texted and asked if everything was ok and i told him what happened while I’m the car on text and he told me not to overthink things and that just made me feel so much better and idk why and I wanted to play games with my boyfriend and we did and then we held hands and when we stopped for lunch I could hold his hand and felt happy and lay my legs in his lap and also I could eat and felt content. Then a couple hours later I started getting the feeling again and it was when we were dropping my dads girlfriend off idk if it has any correlation all I wanted to was talk to my mom. So I had to drive my boyfriend home and I was able to laugh at rings he said and he could but his hand on my thigh with out me getting those bad feelings again and I started crying because I was happy I wasn’t getting those terrible feelings we kissed once said ily and laughed a couple more times and he went home. Right when I got home I cried and told my mom everything and I wasn’t like wonder if I don’t love him anymore blah blah and I’m just suppressing the feelings and they’re all coming up and I was freaking out again and she was like I don’t think that’s it and then he called me and we talked a little a laughed a good bit and he just wanted to make sure I was ok and got home safe. Fast forward to next day I was alone and was in my own head and my heart just was beating and it was a terrible feeling and I was hungry couldn’t eat then my mom came home and everything subsided and at night I was snapping him and everything was ok and now it’s today. Feelings have been a lot better only a little bit of my heart beating and I used to be scared if I saw him I’d get those terrible feelings and now I’m not worried about that anymore I’m worried that if I see him and kiss him or if he holds me i won’t feel anything at all like no feelings of comfort or love. And that worries me the most because I stg I love everything about this boy and I know I’m young and what not but I can’t imagine this summer with out him it was just be so dull I feel like but I’m just not sure if I still love him I love him but idk if I’m in love if that makes sense and I don’t think it’s the case I’m thinking maybe it could be my dad tying into it kissing in front of me with his new girl friend maybe I have absolutley no clue and I’m worried I’m so confused and I’ve been praying I just don’t know if it’s all because I don’t love him or if I do but I feel like if I didn’t i would know and it wouldn’t be this hard to think about breaking it off and so emotional but idk I just wanted to share my story and see if anyone could give any insight Or if I could give any peace at mind because they arent the only ones I’m sorry for the novel and hope it mad some sense but please help! 🙁

    Alix

Viewing 8 posts - 31 through 38 (of 38 total)

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