Hi Girija 🙂

I went back to your 2nd of three threads, where I quoted your words from your first thread (March- May 2019), and wrote down on a piece of paper three things you said back then.

In your recent post (7+ years later), you expressed something like feeling like an ant.

Back in 2019 you wrote: “I am really starting to see that it is like a factory, and we are all machinery”.

In your recent post, you wrote: “I don’t have an instinct towards anything… I’ve removed myself from living… Nothing innately pushes me.”

Back in 2019, you wrote: “My mother taught me- to not try to change your situation as you may lose what you already have”,

and,

“Being paralyzed by fear and being overwhelmed by stress has been a pattern for a long time.”

(Sincerely, Girija, I don’t know where I’m going in this reply. Let’s see if I’ll be going anywhere at all 🤔)

You wrote in your recent post: “Life was stuck and he came along and gave it colour”.

Life was stuck in grey and he gave it color.

Surviving life like an industrious ant, or like a machine in a factory (because really living life is dangerous, as you might lose what you already have)- you end up minimized by fear, psychologically shrunk by fear (no instinct… nothing innate).

See the photo above my name, Girija? That’s me dancing back in Oct 2025. It was to indoors live music that played a short distance away (it was raining that evening, so the band did not take place outdoors).

It was a moment of colour, of expanding the shrinkage. A small moment, yet it was everything. The dancing (and the red wine involved) dissolved the fear- paralysis that evening.

Do you, did you ever danced to music, Girija?

💃 Anita