Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Permission to feel optimistic
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anita.
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August 11, 2026 at 7:31 pm #460275
samyParticipantHi Anita
Thanks for recognising the growth
I loving being petty at times. So when I hear about him having sit through a work issue for 5 hours it makes me giddy. He’s devalued and disrespected some of us who really would have shown up for the team when there’s a mess. It’s also a great lesson for me for the future. The corporate may have a hierarchy but not a human. Our ego makes us believe that and compete over looks, skills. But those are just qualities. Every human has a place
I had a dream last night that was very telling. He says in a meeting oh yes since I’ll be travelling here’s the handoff. I was so unhappy with that. Not that I would miss him
But that he’s getting to take some time off. Like some soap opera villian part of me wishes him misery. It’s so nice to see that in a dream because I’m able to see where I have to let go.About my mom. I just think that life is trying to beat her down. It’s unfair. I will never understand this disproportionate distribution of misery among humans
Girija
August 11, 2026 at 11:12 pm #460281
anitaParticipantHi Girija:
“I will never understand this disproportionate distribution of misery among humans”- okay, really, I am bamboozled (my favorite word) by your cognitive- literary genius.
I mean, you have the bee’s knees way of saying things.
It’s late here and guess who is a bit tipsy. I’ll be back to you in the morning.
Anita
August 12, 2026 at 2:13 pm #460295anitaParticipantHi understandably petty, giddy, and soap-opera-villain Girija 🙂:
“Every human has a place.”- ✔️
And every emotion has a valid message, one that aims at helping one to survive or thrive as an individual and as a social being.
So, your at times giddiness and wishing him misery, the valid message:
Girija needs and deserves to be respected and should not accept or tolerate disrespect.
I hope that your mother is cancer-free and that you don’t spend much time worrying.
Your peace of mind is very important. You don’t deserve to suffer because of a disproportionate-distribution-of-misery that you have no control over.
🌿 Anita
August 12, 2026 at 8:59 pm #460299samyParticipantHi All
Grand mother passed away this morning. I won’t be responsive
Girija
August 12, 2026 at 9:10 pm #460300anitaParticipantHi Girija: I am sorry to read of this recent loss. Please take good care of yourself and of the rest of your grieving family at this time.
August 17, 2026 at 11:37 am #460424anitaParticipantThinking about you, Girija
August 17, 2026 at 6:21 pm #460437
LuParticipantSomething in your first post stopped me: ‘for the first time, I want to dare to be optimistic.’ That sentence is not small. When hope has been punished before, letting it in feels dangerous — like setting yourself up for the fall.
Here’s a small thing that helped me: treat optimism as an experiment, not a promise. Not ‘everything will work out,’ but ‘today I’m allowed to collect evidence that things can go right’ — one line in a note each evening. The what-ifs still show up; they just stop being the only voice in the room.
Wishing you steadiness on the new team. You’ve clearly already done the hardest part, which is staying in the conversation with yourself.
August 18, 2026 at 4:16 am #460452LuParticipantI am the one who started this thread a while back, and I still stop by to read how it keeps growing into something none of us could have built alone. Girija, I am so sorry about your grandmother. No rush to respond to anything, please just take care of yourself and your family these days. Anita, the steady care you keep showing people in this space does not go unnoticed. Reading this thread was part of what taught me that optimism is not forcing a bright mood, it is permission to feel everything and still show up. Lately that looks like small routines for me, morning tea, a walk before the day starts, and letting the low mornings be low without turning them into a verdict. Glad this corner of the internet is still here.
August 18, 2026 at 11:35 am #460465
AlessaParticipantHi Girija
My condolences, I’m so sorry for your loss. 🩵 🙏
I only just read your recent message about losing your grandmother. 🫂
Take all the time you need. You’re going through a lot right now.
August 18, 2026 at 12:16 pm #460467anitaParticipantLu: “I’m the one who started this thread”-
Oh, my goodness, it’s you then, Girija!
You did share not long ago- in this thread- that AI is like your therapist.
Same is true for me, by the way.
So, is Lu the AI version of Girija?
🤔 Anita
August 18, 2026 at 3:15 pm #460469anitaParticipantHi Girija:
I thought you were Lu simply because you’re the person who started this thread, and Lulu wrote: “I am the one who started this thread a while back, and I still stop by to read..” (first person)
After my reply above, using the phone, I got to the computer and asked AI about it.
AI (Copilot): “Lu (a real person) probably copied Girija’s original post, pasted it into an AI tool, and asked the AI to “write a reply as me” or “write something supportive”
What the AI then did: The AI saw the thread and made two classic mistakes: Mistake #1: It assumed the first post belonged to the person using the AI. So, it wrote: “I’m the one who started this thread.”
Mistake #2: It then treated Girija as a different person. So, it wrote: “Girija, I’m so sorry…”
This creates the contradiction you noticed: The AI speaks as if it is Girija. Then speaks to Girija.
A real human would never do that. An AI does it all the time when given a thread without clear instructions.
The simplest truth: Lu is a person using AI to generate replies. The AI misunderstood the thread and accidentally claimed to be Girija, then immediately contradicted itself by addressing Girija in the second person.
That’s why the message feels strange, polished, and disconnected from reality.”
I apologize, Girija. I was confused 😔🤍
Anita
September 1, 2026 at 2:25 pm #460774anitaParticipantThinking about you this Tues afternoon, Girija, hoping you’re okay. Anita
September 5, 2026 at 8:07 am #460820samyParticipantHi Anita,
Thank you for checking on so many occasions. I am doing fine. How are you?
In a way we were relieved for my grandmother. She suffered multiple strokes last year and was bed ridden. Being fed through tubes. But she lived to see great grand kids. Always enthusiastic to cook and participate in rituals. At the same time she saw a lot of pain. Son living in the US and all 3 daughters going through either domestic violence, financial trouble or poor health. It’s painful to see none of your daughter’s live peacefully.
I joined the new team last Tuesday. I am not exaggerating when I say it completely shifted me mentally. It’s like physically moving to a different building and knowing no one was what I needed for my brain to be done with the past. It does come up that I was used sometimes. But the sting is gone. I am grateful for that lack of noise in my head
My mother’s PET CT is done. Got the report today. All good. My chest loosened up if that makes sense
One old pattern that has come up is I pay attention to how the senior in the team might perceive me. If I fall short or come across incompetent. But something strange happened. I thought to myself i prefer the bad outcome over the torture of fighting my own mind over the fear of the bad outcome. I don’t care anymore. Maybe I am incompetent. Let them fire me. I can’t be this way. Measuring myself if I did enough to ensure I am not st fault. I did everything I could. Work should never be that way. For me to measure myself. I don’t want to. It’s just software.
Girija
September 5, 2026 at 8:58 am #460821anitaParticipantGood Saturday morning, Girija 🙂
When I read this part: “My mother’s PET CT is done. Got the report today. All good. My chest loosened up if that makes sense.”- I noticed a smile on my face (my first smile of the day).
About your grandmother: “Always enthusiastic to cook and participate in rituals”- I imagine her son, daughters and grandchildren dedicating a yearly ritual or two to her, including trying to match her cooking for the ritual (and failing, of course 🙂)
Congratulations, for joining the new team 🌿✨A new page and lack of noise in your head- precious!
“But something strange happened. I thought to myself I prefer the bad outcome over the torture of fighting my own mind over the fear of the bad outcome. I don’t care anymore. Maybe I am incompetent. Let them fire me… I don’t want to. It’s just software.”-
Reading this just now truly makes a good start for my day, it’s inspiring 🥂💫
This new attitude is a process, of course- not something that anyone can execute smoothly and perfectly every day and forevermore- but promising and inspiring nonetheless 🥂💫
Anita
September 5, 2026 at 9:55 am #460822samyParticipantHi Anita
Good morning! Glad that made you smile!
The simple signal for me is noticing my body first. And I can feel my mind is tired. It’s a sensation in my head. But not really. That’s the best I can explain. And my motto is if it makes me anxious it’s not worth it. That is the opposite of what mainstream advice is. But I’m sure for myself this is the best path. Because I’m not anxious about taking action. Rather I’m anxious I won’t be able to avoid catastrophe. My mind is the signal. I’m tired and sick of thinking about it is the sense I get. And that’s enough for me to stop and say let it come
Girija
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