“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
During the summer, my husband and I decided to take our lovely nieces and nephew out for a day-of-fun in the city. I expected a day filled with fun, laughter, and connection; I was in store for much more—a lesson in love and truth, told by my eleven-year-old niece.
We were all at dinner and decided to play a game where one person asks a question of their choice, and everyone else answers. The question “Who do you have a crush on?” arose, and around the table we went.
All the kids had normal answers such as “um, Jason—no Adam—well, sometimes Chris,” “Definitely Sarah,” “I am not sure if I want to say,” and so on.
Then the question came around to one of my nieces and she answered with a big smile on her face, “Myself!” Wow, what an answer, I thought. If only I had that kind of wisdom and self-love at that age. I was so proud and happy for her that she saw herself through such a beautiful lens.
Her answer started to make me think. How many of us have spent endless hours and years trying to find our true love, the one who will finally find us and make all that time we waited worth it—ultimately, our soul mate?
As my niece pointed out to me, could it be possible we have been searching for a connection that has been within us the whole time?
What if we took that term, soul mate, and looked at it from my sweet niece’s eyes. What would we see? Maybe we would see that a soul mate is not always someone else; it does not have to be outside of you. It could be the meeting of your soul and self within you.
Sometimes, we use so much of our time waiting and searching for someone else to fill us up and love us that we forget how much love we all already have inside that is patiently waiting to be released. We could find that missing piece if we turn inward and remember how special and beautiful we are in our core.
But, more often, we forget how to release this innate gift and fall into our own joy and divinity. We forget to connect to our power within ourselves.
When this happens, we usually end up giving our power away and allowing someone else to define us. We allow ourselves to been seen through others’ eyes, and eventually, forget what we look like through our own.
If we search for our missing half, our soul mate, in another person, we inherently believe we are not complete without someone else. We convince ourselves we are not whole, and we can never be whole until we find our true love.
I believe this false notion allows us to ignore our true potential and avoid taking responsibility for our own love and happiness.
We end up using precious time trying to learn, accept, and love every possible mate, while dismissing the opportunity to learn, accept, and love ourselves.
Sometimes, we are quick to welcome all the “beautiful” and “good” aspects of ourselves, while avoiding the “bad” and “unacceptable” pieces within us. Would we do that to our true love, our soul mate? Or, would we see and accept them for who they are?
I don’t think we will ever be able to love ourselves until we acknowledge all our different aspects—the “strong” and the “weak”— and start giving ourselves compassion instead of judgment. A puzzle needs all its pieces in order to be complete.
Now, I am not saying the only soul mate we can ever have is ourselves. I believe we can have different variations of soul mates—some being people who touch us profoundly and understand us deeply.
But if we make a strong connection with ourselves, we will be able to live from a powerful, authentic place. From here, we will be able to identify our other soul mates more clearly because then we truly know who we are and can better see who inspires us to be more of our truth.
So, where do we find this amazing soul mate? I think it is the meeting place of pure divinity and humanness within us.
Soul mate can be defined as the reunion of our lost self and found spirit.
Only when we learn to love and accept ourselves are we able to receive love and acceptance from someone else. We must first feel it from within to understand and recognize it from without.
So, the next time you catch yourself wishing to be with that one person who could complete you and make your life perfect, remember: Your wish could come true. You might just need to borrow my niece’s lens so you can see more clearly.
The mate of your soul is already here, it is you.
Photo by The Glowing North Stars