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Letting Go of the “Good Person” Identity and Spiritual Expectations

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“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lao Tzu

For many years, I was deeply involved in spiritual communities—satsangs, meditation centers, ashrams, and groups focused on positivity, service, and personal growth. These places gave me comfort, community, and a sense of purpose. But they also shaped something inside me that I didn’t fully recognize until much later:

I had built my self-worth around being a “good person.”

On the surface, it sounds harmless. Who doesn’t want to be good, kind, and helpful? But looking back, I see how the pressure I put …

Staying Present in a Life That Isn’t What You Expected

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“To live without arriving is to learn how to stay.” ~attributed to the Buddha

For most of my life, I assumed that arriving was the point. Like many people, I believed adulthood would eventually deliver a clear role, a measure of security, and a sense of belonging I could point to and say, This is it. This is who I am. I trusted that if I worked honestly, followed what mattered, and stayed true to my values, that moment would come.

Now, much later, I’m facing the possibility that it never will.

I know I’m not alone in this, even …

When Love Feels Like Pain: Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

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“Sometimes the person you love the most is the one who teaches you the hardest lesson about yourself.” ~Unknown

I once thought that being in a relationship meant sacrificing parts of myself for the sake of “love.”

I stayed when I should have left.

I forgave when I hadn’t healed.

I silenced myself when I needed to speak. I gave up my voice, my boundaries, and my sense of emotional safety. I stopped expressing my needs to avoid conflict. I minimized my feelings so I wouldn’t be “too much.” I slowly disconnected from the parts of me that felt confident, …

The Simple Words That Reshaped How I See Myself

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“Only say good words to your child. Even if it looks like they’re not listening, if you repeat those kind words a hundred or a thousand times, they will eventually become the child’s own thoughts.” ~My grandmother

When I think about my childhood, the first word that comes to mind is “night.”

The nights were always the hardest.

My father struggled with alcohol and sometimes turned that pain into violence at home.

As a kid, I felt like danger could appear at any time after the sun went down.

I was afraid to sleep deeply. I kept the light on …

What Losing My Brother Taught Me About Addiction, Shame, and Love

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“Protest any labels that turn people into things. Words are important. If you want to care for something, you call it a ‘flower’; if you want to kill something, you call it a ‘weed.’” ~Don Coyhis

Losing my brother to a substance use disorder taught me things I never wanted to learn. Things nobody prepares you for. Things that will change you in ways you never thought possible.

It taught me that you can love someone so much it physically hurts—and still not be able to save them. It taught me that you can mourn someone you love long before …

Breaking the Cycle of “There’s Something Wrong with Me”

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“The wound is where the light enters you.” ~Rumi

“I can’t do anything right. There’s something wrong with me.”

My daughter said these words quietly, almost as if she didn’t want me to hear them. But I did. And the moment I did, something in my chest cracked open.

I knew that feeling. I’d carried it my entire childhood.

We were in the kitchen; I sat on the floor and pulled her next to me. My mind racing while I tried to keep my focus on her, eyes full of compassion, as if I could pull her inside me to …

Want to Eat Healthier and Feel Better in Your Skin?

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Would you say you’re a healthy eater? If not, is this a goal for you?

For years, people thought of me as healthy because I rarely ate meat or desserts. But it was more that I was desperate to stay thin, and I consumed tons of processed food and sugary candy because I could eat them without gaining weight.

Now that I’m older, and especially since I have children, I’m much more conscious of what I eat. I want to actually nourish my body so I can keep up with them for years to come, and I hope to make

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What Happened When I Stopped Making Rigid Rules for Myself

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

I stood in my kitchen, staring at the leftover red velvet cake from my birthday party the night before. It was beautiful: layers of deep red with cream cheese frosting that I knew tasted incredible. And for the first time in years, I heard something different than the voice that had ruled my life.

For so long, there had been this other voice. Dominating. Controlling. It told me exactly what

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A Simple Practice That’s Keeping Me Out of Catastrophic Thinking

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“Hope is not a prediction. It is the choice to believe something good is possible before we have proof.”

For most of my life, I lived with an internal alarm system that never turned off. I expected disaster around every corner—financial collapse, professional failure, health crises, humiliation, and loss. Catastrophic thinking wasn’t just a habit; it felt like responsibility. It felt like vigilance. It felt like survival.

As a documentary filmmaker, anticipating the unexpected is part of the job. We learn to obsess over what could go wrong—equipment failures, weather shifts, emotional volatility, permissions falling apart, safety concerns, or a

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How to Create Micro-Moments of Joy to Help You Keep Going

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“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I want to shine a light on something that often gets overlooked in both the medical world and the mental health space. Something I didn’t have a name for until I lived through it myself.

I call it joy deficiency.

If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve felt it too.

Maybe you’re living with Crohn’s, like I am.

Maybe you’ve faced chronic migraines, cancer, autoimmune symptoms, depression, fatigue, or simply the exhaustion of carrying emotional pain for far too long.…

AI Helped Me Sound “Better” and Feel Worse

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It was close to midnight the first time it really hit me.

I was sitting alone at my kitchen table, still in work clothes, phone in hand. I’d come straight home after a long day of back-to-back meetings, staff conversations, and one decision I’d been avoiding for weeks—a call that would affect someone’s role, their income, and their sense of security. By the time I got home, I was too wired to sleep and too tired to change.

The house was quiet.

On the screen was a chat window.

Not with a friend. Not with a therapist. With an AI.…

The Cost of Chronic Stress and 6 Practical Steps to Presence

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“You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts.” ~Amit Ray

I was in the middle of responding to my third “urgent” email of the morning when I realized I hadn’t tasted my coffee.

The cup sat there, half-empty and cold. I had no memory of drinking it.

That small moment became the crack that let the light in. Because if I couldn’t remember drinking my coffee, something I claimed to love, something I looked forward to every morning, what else was I missing?

The answer, I would soon discover, was almost everything.

The Illusion of Productive

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Why I Stopped Trying to Be Thin and Started Trying to Be Strong

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“The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character.” ~Arnold Schwarzenegger

The gym. Just saying the word makes some people break into a sweat—and not the good kind. Bright lights. Mirrors everywhere. What do I wear? That “everyone is staring at me” feeling (spoiler: they’re not; they’re staring at themselves).

For others, it’s their safe place, their happy zone. So how do you go from “I’d rather chew glass” to actually wanting to walk through those doors? I’ll share from personal experience.

I have always been …

The Moment That Brought Me Hope When Life Felt Joyless

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“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” ~Buddha

There are seasons when life feels stripped of joy, when hope seems far away, unreachable, or unreal. Seasons when you wake up already exhausted, and it feels like there’s nothing soft left in the world—no beauty, no connection, nothing to rest in. I’ve been living in that season lately.

I’m losing my vision to macular degeneration. I’m a caregiver for my ninety-six-year-old mother. I’m navigating disability, financial strain, and the feeling that the future is shrinking instead of widening. Most days, I move …

The Growth That Came from Not Saying Sorry

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“You are not responsible for other people’s emotional reactions.” ~Susan Forward

This morning, in our usual rush and routine heading to school, my son was looking for something, as per usual. I calmly asked what he was doing, and he snapped at me. That’s not uncommon.

I stayed regulated and grounded to help him regulate. But sometimes, that calm turns into overfunctioning.

Codependency has a way of sneaking in the back door. As someone who was once deeply codependent, I still fall into old habits—being the one who holds it together, who stays calm for others. And if they

…

How to Be Sad on Vacation

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“Healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” ~Pema Chodron

I recently went on vacation with my partner, Jett. I want to tell you it was kind of a disaster, but the truth is, it was just life. I had a lot of expectations placed on this trip (I have a lot of expectations, period), and I thought my issues wouldn’t follow me to Mexico.

We left the chores and the kids and the pets behind, but we still brought ourselves. We were both currently …

The Beauty in Brokenness: Why Your Scars Make You Worthy

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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

On July 2, 2009, my life shattered with three words: “He is gone.”

I thought my friend meant my love was away on a camping trip, but no. She meant he was gone, as in forever.

My stomach knotted and my breath stopped. My body was reacting to the gravity of the truth before my mind could fully process it. The man I loved more than life itself never came back from his camping trip, and in many ways, neither did I.

My heart broke in a million …

Breaking Free from the Constant Need to Be Better

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“Enough is a decision, not a condition.” ~Unknown

The night sky above Disneyland shimmered in color as fireworks burst to life. My daughters leaned against me, sticky-fingered from melted ice cream, eyes wide with wonder. It was supposed to be the happiest place on earth.

Then Mirabel’s voice from Encanto echoed through the speakers: “I will never be good enough. Will I? No matter how hard I try.”

Something inside me broke.

Sitting cross-legged on the pavement surrounded by thousands of smiling families, I sobbed. Not a dainty, delicate tear but the kind of quiet, chest-aching cry you hope no …

Why Your Friendships Make You Feel Anxious and Overthink Everything

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“Many of our relationship struggles are not character flaws but survival strategies that once made sense.” ~Unknown

Throughout my life I’ve often been described as confident and outgoing. I can be the “life and soul” of a party and am able to strike up conversations with a wide variety of people.

But what nobody would have guessed is that I secretly struggled to navigate close friendships. I used to overthink every unanswered text, I felt I needed to please to keep friends close, and I even pushed friends away because I thought they didn’t care.

What made it worse was …

Trauma, Darkness, and the Powerful Therapy That’s Helping Me Heal

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Trigger Warning: This piece contains references to childhood trauma, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please take care of yourself as you read, and step away if you need to. If you are struggling, you are not alone — support is available through trusted loved ones, a therapist, or resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (in the U.S.).

Hello, darkness, my old friend.

I can’t push you away—because if I do, you only grow stronger. So I’m learning to let you be here. You settle in my chest like a hollow weight, speaking not in words but in pressure.

At …