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Growing Up Without a Family: From Survival Mode to Thriving

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“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” ~C. S. Lewis

I started life in a poor household with one parent who left when I was very little, never to be seen or heard from again, and another who stuck around but made it very clear I wasn’t wanted and I had ruined their life by existing.

For some reason, I never had any contact from either of their parents, my grandparents, and very little to no contact from their wider families.

So, as a young child, I knew …

Escaping an Abusive Situation: The Hardest Parts and Greatest Lessons

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“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

I watched my son get hit by his father, and something inside me finally broke open.

Not broke apart. Broke open. There’s a difference.

For years, I had absorbed the chaos. I had made myself smaller, quieter, more accommodating. I had convinced myself that if I could just love harder, be better, try more, something would change. But in that moment, watching my child suffer at the hands of the man who was supposed to protect him, I understood with absolute clarity that nothing I did would ever …

Gratitude: The Amazing Superpower Inside Us All

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“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Gratitude.

It used to be a very triggering concept for me, and sometimes it still is.

It’s been a process to unravel what it means to me and to be okay with days where I am in active trauma or grief, when I feel there is nothing to be grateful for. It’s okay to be in those places.

Gratitude is but one of the plethora of tools I’ve used to shift my perspective on …

How I Stopped Overexplaining and Found Calm in Conflict

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl

For a while, I forgot about that space.

When conflict entered my life—first with my employer, then with my insurance company—I didn’t react explosively. I didn’t fire off reckless emails.

I did something that felt far more reasonable.

I built arguments.

I constructed careful, layered explanations. I mapped policy references, contextual details, and logical connections. I laid out what felt like a complete reticulum of ideas in my defense. If I could make my case airtight, I believed, it would …

The Wedding Dress Metaphor: A Powerful Lesson on Being Authentic

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“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” ~Brené Brown

This past year, during a season of transition in my life, I started working part-time as a bridal stylist at a wedding dress store. It was something I had quietly dreamed about for years. I’ve always loved wedding dresses for their artistry, their structure, and the way each one feels like its own separate world of intention and detail.

But what has surprised me most hasn’t been the beauty. It’s been the these dresses revealed important lessons about confidence and …

We Are Allowed to Age: Why I Don’t Care That I Look Old

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“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” ~African Proverb

It is just past ten in the morning on a Tuesday.

My wet boardshorts and blue tank top are drying at lightning speed in the sweltering South Indian sun.

I am feeling alive and exhilarated after my surf session in the surreal blue, bathtub-warm Arabian Sea.

Surfing waves consistently has been my goal for the past two years, and I’m doing it. Which is pretty awesome considering that I never thought I would surf again.

The trauma and fear from a surfing accident ten years ago, …

How Dry January Improved My Brain Health and My Life

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“You are not stuck with the brain you have. You can make it better.” ~Dr. Daniel Amen 

At the beginning of the year, I had this whole list in my head about the benefits of Dry January: drop a few pounds, sleep better, get those bright white eyes everyone raves about. The standard results you think you would get if you avoided alcohol for a month. But I should have known; my body had something else in mind.  

Truthfully, the real reasons are much more complex. Alcoholism runs in my family. I’ve never thought I had a problem, but

…

Boundaries Begin Within: A Simple Insight That Changed My Life

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“I used to tolerate a lot because I didn’t want to lose people. Now I set boundaries because I don’t want to lose myself.” ~Anonymous

I used to feel stretched and depleted in my own life, drained by obligations, and confused about why I felt overwhelmed even when everything looked ‘fine.’ At the time, I didn’t connect this exhaustion to boundaries at all. I simply knew the way I was living required a lot of me, even though I couldn’t yet name what this was really about.

For a long time, I didn’t have language for what was happening …

When Your Kindness Flows Easily to Others but Not to Yourself

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“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

There it was—glaringly obvious on the page. An embarrassing typo stared back at me from the backside of a brochure I’d received from the printer. A brochure I wrote, laid out, and yes, gave the final sign-off to produce.

My stomach tightened as tears welled up in my eyes.

“You idiot,” I screamed silently at myself.

In an instant, flashes of similar mistakes I’d made over the course of a long career in communications rushed in, piling …

Moral Injury: When the People Meant to Protect You Fail

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“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” ~Dr. Gabor Maté

Most people think trauma comes from what frightened us.

But not all trauma is rooted in fear. Some wounds come from betrayal—when something violates our sense of right and wrong, and we’re left to carry the cost alone.

This kind of injury doesn’t happen simply because something bad occurred. It happens because a moral line was crossed—by a person, an authority, or a system we believed would protect us. What follows isn’t just pain but a lasting …

How I Found Focus and Presence When Meditation Didn’t Work

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“Meditation is a way of being, not a technique.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I didn’t think I was someone who “couldn’t meditate.”

I had read the books. I understood the benefits. I knew, intellectually, that sitting with my breath was supposed to help me feel calmer, more present, more myself.

And yet every time I tried, something inside me tightened.

My mind raced. My body felt exposed. Stillness didn’t feel peaceful—it felt like being left alone with something that didn’t know how to hold me.

So I stopped trying.

For a long time, I assumed this meant there was something wrong …

I Stopped Trying to Be Chosen and Finally Found Love

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“You can’t perform your way into being loved. You can only reveal yourself and trust that the right person will love what they find.”

Finding the unmarked door, I stepped into a dimly lit room pulsing with that “Love Jones” energy. Neo-soul played low, red lighting cast shadows across faces, and the bass line vibrated through my chest. This was the kind of place where real conversations happened.

I was nursing a cocktail when he appeared beside me. Dark eyes, easy smile, the kind of presence that makes you sit up straighter. “What are you drinking?”

Within minutes, we’d moved …

Need a Break from Everything?

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I think it’s probably fair to say that most of us are feeling overwhelmed right now. We’re all dealing with a lot. Work stress. Family responsibilities. Relationship struggles. Health challenges. The pressure to keep going even when we’re absolutely exhausted.

Lately my own life has been ridiculously full. Between running the site, homeschooling my older son, and navigating some stressful family situations, I’ve often felt like I’m in survival mode. I’m sure a lot of you know what that’s like.

And it’s not just busyness that makes it all feel so draining. It’s also the constant noise. Even if you’re

…

What I Ask Myself Now Instead of “What’s Wrong with Me?”

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“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.” ~Kristin Neff

For a long time, I carried a question with me that I rarely said out loud.

It wasn’t dramatic. It didn’t sound cruel. It felt reasonable—even responsible.

What’s wrong with me?

The question surfaced whenever I felt stuck. When motivation disappeared. When I couldn’t seem to do the things I thought I should be able to do with ease. It appeared quietly in moments of overwhelm, in the pause before self-judgment set in.

I asked it sincerely. I believed it was the …

I Stopped Asking “Why Me?” and Started Asking “What Now?”

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“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor Frankl 

For a long time, my first response to difficulty was a single, aching question: “Why me?”

It surfaced whenever life took an unexpected turn—when plans collapsed, when effort didn’t materialize, when circumstances felt unfair and overwhelming. I believed that if I could understand why something was happening, I would somehow fix the situation and regain control. That the answer would soften the blow.

But it never did.

One experience, in particular, changed my relationship with that question.

I remember …

Why Letting Myself Fall Apart Set Me Free

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“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.” ~Unknown

I had ten days to pack up my life.

I was moving from Toronto to Florida, and I decided—very confidently—that I would only take what fit in my SUV. Everything else would be donated, sold, or given away. Ten days. One car. A clean slate.

It felt intentional. Grounded. Like the kind of choice someone …

When “Better” Becomes a Trap: How I Learned to Hope Without Clinging

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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

For most of my life, hoping for something better wasn’t a problem. It was my fuel.

If everything had lined up the way I once imagined, it would have looked something like this: steady financial security, meaningful creative work recognized by the world, a sense of arrival—finally—after decades of effort. I would be teaching or creating without scrambling, my work fully valued, my future predictable enough to relax into.

That picture lived quietly in the background of my days. I didn’t obsess …

When You Realize You’ve Outgrown a Friendship

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“Sometimes growth doesn’t look like becoming more—it looks like leaving behind what no longer fits.”

For a long time, I believed that outgrowing a friendship meant I had failed at it.

That belief took root early, at boarding school, where friendships weren’t just social—they were survival. We didn’t see each other for a few hours a day. We lived together. Ate together. Studied, slept, and grew up side by side.

There was no going home to reset. No space to retreat and recalibrate. Friendship wasn’t optional—it was the environment.

So when I later began to outgrow one of those friendships, …

What It Cost Me to Always Be the Easy One

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“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

I grew up as the first-born daughter—the responsible one, the helper, the one who didn’t want to cause trouble. I learned early how to be “good.” Good meant quiet. Good meant easy. Good meant not needing much.

What I didn’t realize then was that I was learning how to abandon myself.

School was hard for me in ways I didn’t know how to explain. I struggled with reading. I struggled with focus. I struggled with keeping up—especially compared to my younger sister, …

How Old Traumas Can Cause Self-Doubt in Destructive Relationships

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“Sometimes people wound us because they’re wounded and tell us we’re broken because that’s how they feel, but we don’t have to believe them.” ~Lori Deschene

Age and healing don’t make you invulnerable to moments that can bring you back to the kind of trauma you experienced as a child. It doesn’t mean that you’re broken, but that there is still an opportunity for more healing to take place. Nothing is inherently “wrong” with you.

I experienced a great deal of trauma in my twenties, actively reliving sexual abuse I had gone through in my childhood, and found myself in …