Dear Paradoxy

What an unusual place you live in where the majority of women  in your opinion appear to be either badly behaved or way out of your league.  Are there any quiet calm places like a library that you can hang out, where you stand a better chance of meeting a kind gentle person,that & volunteering where you will meet people who prioritize compassionate actions over the need to use someone to make their shallow lives feel better.

As for taking B back for just one more time to see if any or all that has been discussed with you on this forum is true. You know deep down that she is like fire and burns you up, & yet you  (ego) are willing to think up any excuse to put your heart back into the inferno.

Hi Tania

Quite a lot of people do not know what to say or how to comfort anyone who is grieving and therefore keep their distance from that person.  Also the main person in your life (husband) has reservations about this friendship. So you would have a double whammy.

I am guessing that Dona is missing you and is hurting from losing not only her husband but her childhood best friend, hence the defensive attack on you in cyberspace.

Does Dona have children, if not she may not appreciate the time & effort it takes to look after  a young child?  also she was like a sister to you and then may long for a role as surrogate aunty.  We all are complex creatures  who need love & understanding.

Dear Jessy

Well he took the initiative by contacting you after two years and then took a risk in sending you a suggestive text.

Dear ParadoxMusic

I am sorry that other peoples lives that you have encountered shows a negative view of woman’s actions especially in divorce & money. So I give you a little bit of my story to show a different picture. When my husband & I split up I left the area and did not want the family home to be sold so that there would be space for the children to visit their father, he was given unlimited access to the children (which he did not take up  frequently)I paid travel costs every other time even though I did not have too plus would return part of maintenance for the days that he did actually have the children. I did not liquidate my 1/9 th share of the company & my parents did not insist on my husbands outstanding loan to be repaid . My husband was worth approx 3/4 of million all I requested £45,000 as a divorce settlement + £250 pm for the children.

Please consciously choose to look for positive inputs into your life. I wish you all the best with your exams and that you will be able to balance the career path that your parents wish for you with things & people that uplift you & bring you peace & joy.

Dear Pj

I am sorry about your mothers deteriorating health. Having someone bedridden is both physically & emotionally draining.

Can i ask how did she become incapacitated? Was physiotherapy an option?  My father is 93 with dementia and he will eventually loose the capacity to walk. He does have days when he is not weight bearing, this happens when he is ill with a chest infection or he regularly every six weeks or so has 2 days where he is more asleep than awake. At these times I wonder if he is going to be able to walk again, but I keep trying to keep his fitness levels up, as I know if he was in a carehome he would deteriate more quickly as they are not encouraged to wander about especially if they are deemed a falls risk like my father

There are exercises that she may be able to do whilst in bed to help with muscle wastage and I have noticed that dad tries to follow exercises that I play on you tube he enjoys chair yoga that has songs that have subtitles so that we can sing along with.

I start each day by kissing him on the forehead and telling him that I love him and that is also how I finish our day.

kind regards

Roberta

Dear Artico7

I noticed in your  last paragraph reply to Anita there were many “if” scenarios of a  perceived negative projected future .

How is this for a rethink. I am lucky, I am now free, I can now encounter a man who has a healthy connection to his family, who is kind and compassionate and I will be welcomed into the family just as I am and in the meantime I will fill my life with joy & beauty.  As you say these things note how you feel in your body & mind.

Kind regards

Roberta

Dear Imback

What kinds of things are you interested in? Is there places that you can do voluntary work in your area?

Do something that is not just for your enjoyment ie computer games etc, but helps you connect with others in your community will help  you especially if it is outdoors.