Hi Ben

8 years doesn’t seem like a big age difference.

Can you provide a little more context? What was she wanting you to do without being told?

Ah yes, that’s a familiar phrase. It reminds me of a conversation I had with my flatmate. He wanted me to remind him when he should do all of his chores. As he’s an adult, he has a responsibility to manage his own chores. I shouldn’t have to tell him what to do.

Mentioning age seems to have been a trigger for you. Are there any other situations where she’s mentioned age? Have you communicated that you don’t like her to talk about your age?

How do you feel about getting older? It seems to be a sensitive subject for you.

Hi Wisp!

Well done on being decisive when it is something that is hard for you.

That’s exciting to be able to go on a Buddhist retreat with your friend. I’m sure it will be an excellent opportunity to learn about yourself.

It does sound like quite a shock to the system in terms of lifestyle changes though. Like you, I enjoy using my phone and watching tv. I even have some anxiety when I’m without a phone. I lost my wallet and my phone broke on the same day once. It wasn’t a fun day!

How long do you have to prepare before the trip? I don’t know how much you meditate? It could be a good idea to practice before the trip. I would suggest a mini phone detox too. I like to leave my phone at home when I go on walks. If you like reading you might be allowed to bring some books on the retreat? If you are well prepared the temporary lifestyle changes might not be such a shock to your system.

The retreat might surprise you. It sounds like a vacation. It can be relaxing to step away from all of the every day stressors we experience. I hope that you end up having a really good time, even though you’re feeling anxious about the trip now.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏

Hi Caroline

I’m sorry to hear that your gf is being mean to you.

Your gf sounds very comfortable “expressing herself” to put it politely. I’m curious how she reacts when you express your concerns?

On one hand you can say she gets away with the behaviour because you allow it. Her behaviour is definitely not your fault though. Someone who is kind would never be mean “because someone allows it”. The responsibility falls on your gf to moderate her own behaviour.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏

Hi Tim

That’s a very healthy realisation. Well done! You’ve got this.

Hi Peter

The esoteric nature is what I love about the text too. I find that re-reading it over the years I always learn something new. Each time I’m a little older, a little wiser and see something I couldn’t see before.

The quote you mentioned reminded me of another text. This time a Buddhist one. I don’t remember the name. It actually contained curses. It was forbidden to share it because it could trigger enlightenment. It was reserved only for a select few. At the same time, it foresaw that many would be unable to understand it. Therefore sharing it would invite misfortune.

Amazingly somehow it found it’s way onto the internet translated into many languages!

My husband always says that if we were meant for enlightenment we would have been born monks.

Instead we have been given different lives and different challenges.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏

Hi Shaydee!

I’m glad that talking to your girlfriend brought you closer together. It sounds like she has her own anxieties too. It’s good that you reassured her. It tells me that a) she cares about your relationship b) she’s under a lot of stress c) she trusts you enough to express her concerns d) she may have had bad experiences in other relationships. I hope as the stress calms down things will get easier for you both.

Another way to think about being vulnerable is about being authentic. Sure, you’re not relying on an image anymore. But being authentic gives people the chance to love you wholly for who you are. Surely this is better than only a small piece of you being loved and being too afraid to share more than that with others. Every single person has weaknesses. The question is how brave people are in being open about them. Of course there is a time and a place. You don’t have to share all of you with everyone. But it’s nice to be able to be with loved ones wholly.

Wishing you both all the best! 🙏 Proud of you for having some healthy conversations.

Hi Mae

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles.

The reason your boyfriend stated sound like a cop out. I can’t imagine why anyone would leave over their partner taking their medication? I don’t really understand the reading deadlines either. It sucks, but it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one.

It’s awful that you were rejected from your PhD program and are experiencing difficulty gaining employment in your field. I’m not sure what the field is or how many job are available in that area.

Job hunting does suck though. It took me a year to get a suitable entry level job. I’ve even seen experienced people have similar difficulties. Certain industries are being hit hard at the moment.

I found it really depressing how many candidates were applying for each role. Applying felt like a lottery ticket with a small chance of getting a job at the end. Targeting my resume to roles helped. Some only needed small changes. I also volunteered to gain relevant work experience related to my field.

Are you getting any interviews as a result of your applications? If you are it’s a good sign. If you’re not there might be issues with your resume.

You’ve been through so much in the past year! I hope that things change for you and something good comes your way soon. Hang in there! Unfortunately, job hunting is a numbers game.

How are you feeling emotionally? And how are you coping with your limited budget? I hope you’re getting enough to eat and such.

Wishing you all the best! 🙏