Hi Lea!

I think these are some big issues prevalent within society. For a long time society has been inherently abusive. Women used to be possessions and denied the opportunity to vote. Slavery existed for a long time and physical abuse was widely accepted. We are all feeling the effects of centuries of abuse. Fortunately there have been some positive changes.

My story is that I was abused as a child. I got therapy, left home, went to college and got my first couple of jobs. As you know in university I was assaulted by another student. My ptsd kicked off and I shut myself away from the world.

I waited for therapy for 2 years. I tried and on the first day my therapist asked me to write about the assault as homework so I quit. After waiting another 2 years I was reassigned to the same therapist. I decided to give her another chance and she was extremely helpful. She apologised for pushing me too quickly too soon. I had schema therapy and prolonged exposure therapy under her care and withdrew from the anxiety medication because it was interfering with therapy.

Then I developed health issues. I was so ill that I couldn’t walk for 6 months. It has been painful and challenging slowly making progress to regain strength and stamina.

At the same time, I had to relearn how to function emotionally because I had been on some strong medication for 6 years. Without it I didn’t know how to relax. Needless to say, I had a breakdown.

Slowly, I started learning to better manage my health and anxiety. Adapting to my new lifestyle.

I met my future husband. I started volunteering to develop skills at jobs that would help me work with health issues. I started doing easy distance learning courses to build my confidence. Now I’m doing a bachelors remotely.

You’re right. These things do affect our lives for a long time. I’m not going to lie. For a time I did compare my life to people my own age. But perhaps it’s more appropriate to compare my life to people who have had similar struggles. For me, that helped me to be less self-critical, develop patience and empathy for myself.

Hi Lea!

You can do this because despite your anxiety you have done it time and time again and maintained excellent grades. The anxious thoughts are ultimately mean lies your mind is telling you.

Some people like to imagine those words being said in a silly voice by a small and or something that they don’t respect.

I would suggest starting with the least stressful item of school work.

Please consider all of the times you overcame your anxiety and ultimately succeeded. How did you achieve this before? I have faith that your same inner strength will help you once again.

You have all of the skills necessary to achieve this. It will not be easy or comfortable but nothing worth doing ever is.

You are going to become a talented vet!

Hi Lea!

I’m a bit anxious at the moment because I had an assessment today and I have a job interview tomorrow. But I will be okay!

It might help your mom to understand what you are going through if you finally share with her the details of the horrific bullying issues you have been through.

Your school lied to you. These incidents are serious and your parents shouldn’t have dismissed being locked in a cupboard.

Personally, I’ve seen a very kind teacher bullied by students who locked her in a cupboard after she went inside. She broke down crying when they refused to let her out. This was an adult woman, imagine how that affects a child.

It’s not right that they don’t take you seriously.

I understand that you are uncomfortable saying that. But based on what you have shared you were verbally abused at school as well as by your sister and a coach. And physically abused at least twice.

Verbal abuse includes insults, threats and yelling amongst other things. Please feel free to Google and read about it if you haven’t already.

The impact of consistent verbal abuse is quite severe. It shapes our minds, how we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us. I have seen many people traumatised by bullying.

It is good that you have been talking about the harmful experiences that you went through in a safe place where they are not denied.

I’m curious, what kind of volunteer job are you considering?  I wish you the best of luck with it and hope you enjoy it!

I understand that feeling. I was assaulted in university by another student that I trusted. I have difficulty interacting with people my own age. I would agree, older people are generally more mature and polite. Though there are exceptions.

Hi Lea

I’m sorry you’re having difficulties with anxiety today. It sounds like you are being very hard on yourself. That research paper sounds fascinating though!

I hear that studying to become a vet is very difficult and requires better grades than studying to become a doctor. I have a joke for you that you might have heard before. What do you call a vet that can only treat one species?

I wonder if the trigger today was not necessarily studying. But potentially the arranging to go to an agricultural club. What do you think?

Perhaps it is not a good idea to tie study goals to going out and socialising later?

It sounds like you have some trauma as a result of the bullying. A slower approach building up to going to the club might be needed. I appreciate your eagerness but you might be pushing yourself a little too fast too soon. I would like you to consider things that make you feel safer.

Would this be talking on the phone to people instead of meeting them in person? Would it mean socialising with some club members online? Would it mean having a dog or a family member with you? Would it mean not going inside for the first few times? Would it mean going to the location while the club wasn’t there? Would you prefer to meet up with one person instead of a group? Anything at all that would make you feel safer?

I’m very sorry about the bullying you experienced. Children can be little sociopaths if their parents don’t teach them empathy. Fortunately, many people have developed empathy by their late 20s. I wonder, how do you find engaging with the other students?

General anxiety tips that have helped me are eating regularly, sleeping well and no caffeine. Unfortunately, sometimes these things take time to figure out how to best manage anxiety because everyone is different.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Helcat.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Helcat.

For people who may wish to view the disagreement.

* I am aware that this is a public forum, and there is a risk of cyber bullying, as well as the risk of members replying to the original poster (me in this case) angrily, impatiently, inattentively, and/or dismissing the OP’s abilities and successes and focusing on the OP’s inabilities and failures, sometimes insisting on the latter.

This was a reference to your comments on the thread the disagreement occurred.

You are correct I responded to a few posts you resurrected individually. Before you asked me not to post on your threads. We were having a discussion on one thread where a disagreement of ideas occurred. You then asked me not to reply to your posts and I apologised for making you feel uncomfortable and agreed.

You then decided to write a frankly insulting comment that you deigned I was not allowed to defend myself against. I replied to you “Please kindly do me the same kindness I gave you.@ I stated that I would reply if you posted about this again.

You continued to post another insulting reply and I responded defending myself.

I am asking again please stop making hurtful comments about this disagreement. I am not threatening you I am asking you.