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Sapnap3ParticipantFunny…I was just thinking about this. I see people I know who are dishonest and deceitful and they get everything they want. They never get “pay back” for their lies but me on the other hand…one bad thing and I get the pay back with 10x more punch. I wonder about karma too. Why do some people get it sooner and earlier than others?
Sapnap3ParticipantHi,
Just remember “this too shall pass”. I went out with a guy for a year and a half and 4 months after he left me, i still cry everyday. I will tell you that it is better than it was a month ago and lot better then month before or month before.
What you ex and my ex has done or are doing is their problem. everything outside of us is not our problem.
Try meditating. Every time i am overwhelmed by sadness, I meditate. I do “guided metta meditation”. Youtube it. its really helpful.
I hope you find peace and some solace in everything my fellow TB sisters have said above.
Much love
NamasteSapnap3ParticipantThank you Sean. I am looking forward to it. Its in these “soul shattering” painful moments when we “survivors” go and find the loving world around us. I was literally on the floor of my bedroom crying to the point of dehydration when I Googled “In pain …boyfriend broke up with me suddenly” and an article on breakup from TB came up on my screen. Since that day in June, I have been reading forums, Blogs and writing forums on TB everyday. Its a painful journey but one worth taking as this is bringing me close to me. I have stumbled so many times but I get up everyday and do something kind for myself.
I will pray for you. I hope you get some relief for your heart. I can’t imagine what you are going through but i can see that you are a kind and compassionate man. I wish you well in life. Feel free to give me some specific destinations in Ireland as i still don’t know where i will go after Dublin.
🙂
Sapnap3ParticipantThank you everyone for your kind words.
Sia…your english is perfect and your words very powerful. I do meditate and i will follow your instructions. I am not afraid of going on this trip alone. It was the booking of the hotel and transportation part that got me missing my ex. him and i use to spend hours looking for hotels and transportation online. I did come up with a good solution for this though. Instead of looking for hotels and maps online (and miss him), i will do it the old fashion way….travel books! where there is a will…there is a way.
Alia thank for all the compliments. I hope i can see myself, one day, the way you can see without even knowing me. Thanks again…you made me smile 🙂
Hannah you are so kind. Keep me in your prayers. you are already in mine.
Macintosh–I am so sorry that you feel the way i do. I will never wish this pain upon anyone not even my ex. I will keep you in my metta intentions to send happiness your way. 🙂
Namaste
Sapnap3ParticipantFb is a business. Remember that. Take it for what it is. I stopped going on it but I have friends and family in different countries so I keep my account.
By not going on it for a long time, you will notice that when you do go on it, it doesn’t do anything to you emotionally. Every time I read someone that I know is struggling’s “my hubby..my soul mate is amazing” post…I just smile. I know this person is trying to smile and make the best out of their life.
Take me for example, when I was with my ex we traveled the world. From different countries I would post “what a great life… Greetings from Seville”…everyone who saw that post thought I was living the best life. They envied me but they didn’t know the agony I was in. My ex was slowly ..mentally leaving me and I was dying inside. He was my love and I was trying everything to keep him…everything. So see, you can’t compare your behind the scene to anyone’s highlights.
So next time you go on Feb..take it for what it is. Trust me, I don’t like Mark zuckerbug and think he is a tool so I don’t go on FB for that. 🙂
Sapnap3ParticipantI was just thinking about this question. When I get sad I do feel like I am being ungrateful for everything this universe has given me. As human beings we are programmed to run after things we cannot have.
I have been longing to talk to my ex boyfriend who has made it very clear that he wants nothing to do with me. And I run away from talking to my parents or sisters when they want to talk. Granted, my family is not very supportive of me but they haven’t left me like my ex did. They are still here and in their way, they love me.
Grace, what I am trying to say is that, its so normal to look at things you don’t have or wish you had but as a person who doesn’t have a supportive family, I would be very grateful to have yours 🙂
I will start keeping a journal too but for now, ill feel the pain of my broken but healing heart.
With warmthSapna
October 3, 2013 at 9:25 pm in reply to: One Complicated Relationship After Another- Time For Change #43201Sapnap3ParticipantJoe,
I think i am a girl version of you. the difference is being an Indian girl in this western world, i not only attract emotionally unavailable men but also men with a “fetish”, Being insecure all my life (even now), I felt like the only thing i can offer a man is my body. Never mind the undergrad in Finance and Economics which i got whilst working 2 jobs. I still look at some men and think “oh he is too good looking for me” or “oh he is too smart for me”. Unfortunately, for us Asian kids who grew up parents who would never show affection, this is a very normal way of thinking.
I hope to get where you are in my life soon. i hope to ask “what can they offer me?”. for right now, i am mending my broken heart and also growing. I know I screwed up a lot in my previous relationship and I want to make sure that when and if i find that worthy man, I am my best-est self.
Namaste dear brother.
Sapnap3ParticipantHello Everyone,
So today was my birthday and I have to share this amazing day with all of you. 3 months ago when my ex broke up with me, i never thought that i can ever enjoy my birthday the way i did today. My friends and family were there for me. Even though, i know they don’t understand the things i am going through, they care. They care in their own capacity.
I feel very blessed today and I want to share it with you all. I also want to thank you for listening. Listening when no one else did. This community has become a second family. I will forever be grateful for the guidance and compassion you have given me over these months. I am not 100% out of the dark yet as i still miss my ex but i am getting better.
Thanks again
Sapnap3ParticipantThank you for this beautiful post.
I have been In pain for a while. All flood gates opened for me when the man I loved left me with no warning. Since that day in June, I have been doing a lot of soul searching with non stop tears. I can’t seem to stop crying. I can’t seem to see me. I have been with the same men all my life trying to fill the space my dad never filled. With my love I was ready to change, ready to be better, ready to let him in but he gave up saying he wasn’t in love with me. Just like my dad, he thought I was good but not enough.
I dont want to feel like a victim. I am not one but with no support system whatsoever, I feel invisible. I am invisible to myself and my feelings are “too much” for my family and friends to handle. So I talk to myself and write on this site. I know I have to be strong. I know I have to pick myself up but sometimes I just wish someone was there to catch me when I fall or just sit there holding my hand when I cry….
This my wish for my birthday for myself and for everyone else….Sapnap3ParticipantI am going to get that tattooed! haha 🙂
Thank you John. This too shall pass like everything else in life…
Sapnap3ParticipantJohn,
I see what you are saying but I have always asked direct questions. He did get back to me and simply said “I will send them back to you”.
It did a hurt a little but difference now is that I can observe my sadness and know where its coming from. Its never been about him or anyone else. This is all within me. I am trapped in the “victim triangle”.
By asking for my things back, i am cutting the last threads that attach me to him. I am not under any illusion to think that this will “cure” me of all the pain and longing i feel for him but it is another little step towards getting there…one day.
Namaste
SapnaSapnap3ParticipantScared
I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you are in. I can’t really give you any views or suggestions but can tell you that I’ll be praying for your well being.When I read your words above, I can feel the love you have for this man. Its so sad that people can’t appreciate the love that is all around them. I don’t know anything about your husband and will not judge him. I will pray for his well being as well. 29 years sound like a life time to love someone. I loved someone for almost 2 years and he shattered my heart. 3 months later, I can still feel him around me.
I really hope you see the strength that is in you and keep going. If he is meant to be with you, he will come to his senses. What you have to remember is that you deserve everything you wish for from yourself and your partner.Keep your head up high dear sister. Cause you have given it your all. Now you have to love yourself more than him
With love and kindness
SSapnap3ParticipantThank you Dharmesh.
Your words made me smile and cry at the same time. There are so many beautiful people in this world. Its amazing. I know where I am right now, emotionally, is miles away from where I was a few weeks or few months ago. It’s just sad that someone who u loved with all your heart can treat you like u never existed. I know I have to self love and give myself what he couldn’t or wouldn’t give me…true love.
Thanks again dear friend. I appreciate you and everyone for their kind words and wishes.
Sapna
Sapnap3ParticipantThank you Niu and Sia.
I appreciate it. I am still missing my ex but I am finding different things to do. I agree with you Sia. Doing seva (service) makes me feel so good. I volunteer for the elderly and they are little houses filled with wisdom. My birthday is on Thursday and Monday after that I go play bingo at a retirement home. I have asked them if I can celebrate my birthday with them and they said yes. I’ll be taking sweet treats for them. So excited 🙂Happy birthday Sia. Ill have a piece of cake for you 🙂
Sapnap3ParticipantThank you Liz.
It means a lot to me that many of you take time to share and give advise. I need that more than anything else. I do talk to a therapist and I have been seeing her for 5 years now but her schedule and my schedule will not allow me to talk to her everyday. I wish I had a friend or family to talk about how I feel. But good thing about all of this is its forcing me to be by myself. I am starting to like my self after years for self hate. I will keep doing this till I know that outside people will only be a nice addition to my happiness and won’t be something I rely on to make me feel loved.
I am a work in progress.
thanks again
Sapna
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