There is a saying that goes “We’re not what we think we are. We’re not what others think we are. We are what we think others think we are.” We find our identity in relationships with other people. That’s why people tend to be different with friends versus family. When we fall in love with someone we inadvertently identify ourselves in the eyes of others. When those relationships end our identity dissolves and we become lost. This is why breakups are so painful. So no matter how many times you will be reminding yourself of these things while you’re happy and with someone, you will be in the same pain if you were to breakup again. Unfortunately, that’s human nature. If there is anything i can suggest it is to not put all of your eggs in the same basket. Diversify yourself. You are all you have, so cherish the time alone with yourself. Invest in yourself and your character, so your identity remains when the other person may not. 🙂

• This reply was modified 7 years, 9 months ago by TriangleSun.

I’d advice your sisters to research Bill Clinton’s sexual escapades during and after his presidency which include everything from sexual assaults to rape and how his wife was attacking those poor women who came forward with allegations of sexual assault against Bill. This was all over prime time news years ago and everyone seemed to have forgotten. Clinton makes Trump look like Mother Theresa.

30-years-old and nothing to show for it. Depressed, scared of relationships, mentally abusive and a Tinder cheater. This is a typical profile of an American millennial man-child. I’m very sorry that you’re going through this at the time when you’re supposed to be festive and happy. But it sounds to me like you dodged a bullet. You didn’t lose anything. In fact, you gained self-respect and a lesson to learn. You have yourself, your mom and the support of your friends. Yes, you will miss him and i don’t know why. This is the mystery of human nature. We tend to give our attention to those who wronged us the most. I know this time is very difficult, but if I could suggest anything it would be to try to enjoy the holidays and the time spent with your mom. As the last few days of the year tick away, it is a good time to turn to the next page and start your new year fresh.

I don’t get it. So you’re going to find out your current girlfriend had slept with 10 other men before meeting you. And then what? What is that going to change? If this somehow bothers you than it’s probably time to see a counselor. When I enter a relationship I do so with the person I know I can trust wholeheartedly. I trust that she will share with me things that she finds important for me to know. Just as I would with her. Everything else is noise.

My ex left me for a creep who went out with her once and stalked her from a different city for several years. She complained about him to her friends and told me about him when we started dating. Eventually, after years of ignoring, she started replying to his texts and emails, telling me how funny and innocent he is and this virtually ended up leading to her leaving to be with him. That’s not even the most f-cked up thing that’s happened to me. Yet, this story is so creepy and bizarre that I hesitate to share it with others.

This was almost 2 years ago and while this doesn’t bother me 98% of the time I still think about the great times we had together those remaining 2%. However, I can ultimately say that I do not care what she’s doing or where she is. It just kind of quit hurting one day. I remember it as it was yesterday. I was about 8 months in and doing great for a while but one night I felt like i was at ground zero. I broke down and felt like all this time and effort it took to heal was for nothing. I don’t know if this was my mind just letting out the last few plumes from the exhaust, but next day I didn’t feel a thing and haven’t ever since. It was just like a switch in my brain.

That’s all I can say. You’ll just get to the point where you mind will become numb to anything related to this person. For some folks it takes days. For others – months. But it will happen. Just keep carrying on, loving yourself and staying clear of negative thinking. I also suggested this earlier, but I’d see if it’s possible to find another job. You spend a lot of time at work and if it’s filled with personal drama like this it’s best to look for something else that will relieve you of constant stress. This is the time to learn and be a better you. Start making changes.

he doesn’t have much in his life apart from me, doesn’t have many friends, still lives at home etc. I feel so rubbish and part of me wants to just ring him and get back with him, and ignore my feelings and be with him just so he’s happy. I literally can’t bear the thought of him being so sad

He has his family. He has a few friends. And most importantly he has himself. Not a very pleasant thing to say about someone you say you care about. You’re clearly not looking past your own self. Have you done anything to encourage him to move out? Make more friends? These are the things you find out about someone in the first few weeks and you either know it’s not a deal breaker or it is. You accept and help or you don’t and move on.

I started going bald when I just hit 18. I’m 31 now and while it has slowed down significantly around 25 I am still quite bald lol. Honestly, I know exactly how you feel because I’ve felt the same way. It does mess with your confidence… Until you just accept it. I stated giving myself buzz cuts when the hair thinned out too much. It’s been 6 years now and I honestly wish I was just born bald lol. I love it. I don’t even have the right shape of the head for a buzz cut but I don’t care. It feels so nice. It makes getting ready in mornings a breeze. It feels great in the summer. It makes beards look awesome! And believe it or not a lot of women think it’s super attractive and sexy. I think what they like more than the cut itself is a man with confidence and little hair because frankly everyone knows it’s a really painful thing to overcome. But it gives your character a bit of stoicism. Oh and how can I forget hats… Hats are your friends. Start wearing them. I’m not talking about baseball caps. It’s a great fashion statement. So… Don’t sweat it. It happens to a lot of men. Start accepting it just like you would a breakup or the loss of a loved one. Once you do it’s pretty liberating!