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Search Results for "past relationship" — 1208 posts

Letting People Challenge You So You Can Learn and Grow

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“The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” ~Elbert Hubbard

My self-awareness grows while watching an eight-year-old boy navigate Sudoku.

He wants to be good at the game, but he doesn’t want to do the work. He wants to know the next right answer without having to think.

His approach to the puzzle is one box at a time, filling in a number at random. He doesn’t realize each little mistake right away; he may get through a row or column, but eventually it catches up with him.

He then tries to backtrack, which …

6 Ways to Decrease Your Suffering

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“The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.” ~Helen Keller

You’ve probably heard the saying “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”

For many years, I didn’t understand how pain and suffering were different from each other. They seemed inextricably wrapped up together, and I took it for granted that one was the inevitable consequence of the other.

However, as I have grown to understand my own capacity to create happiness, I noticed something interesting about the nature of my suffering.

As I reflect back on painful episodes in my life, I can recall losing people …

Healing Depression by Taking Care of Your Mind, Body, and Spirit

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“Suffering is not caused by pain but by resisting pain.”~Unknown

Prior to my twenty-second birthday I was spiraling down a self-destructive path, partying at all hours of the morning and drinking excessively to numb my pain. I was a rebel with a cause, as the lure of the nightlife kept me away from my dysfunctional home.

I was searching for love and happiness in all of the wrong places, but the universe stopped me dead in my tracks, both literally and figuratively, when my brother committed suicide.

Devastated by the loss of his presence in my life and the close …

The Tiny Buddha Book Is Now Available in Dutch

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Today is an exciting day for me, as I’m announcing the first international edition of my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

If you’ve already learned about the book or purchased it, this post will be redundant for you! For those who haven’t read it, or are interested in the Dutch version, here’s a little information about it:

This is the first book of its kind—with tweets woven throughout.

I asked @tinybuddha followers a number of the most challenging questions in life, like:

  • Why is there suffering in the world?
  • What’s the meaning of life?
  • What
…

Your Thoughts Create Your World: Patrol Your Mind

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“Since you alone are responsible for your thoughts, only you can change them.” ~Paramahansa Yogananda

In my second year of residency, I went through my internal medicine rotation. I had just been assigned to a particular patient and was responsible for his care during that part of his stay. His medical chart stated he had multiple systemic issues, including more than one terminal condition.

He had been admitted to the hospital numerous times, but this was our first encounter. As I entered his room, I wasn’t sure what to expect. After all, this was a man with a limited …

When Giving Up Really Isn’t: Taking a Step Back

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“A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Unknown

A year ago this week I was lying on a pile of laundry on my bathroom floor, sobbing, blowing my nose into a dirty t-shirt. I was in the last stages of packing up my apartment, selling my furniture, putting a few belongings into storage, and at 34 I was moving home to my parents’ house.

It was not a good month, in a less-than-stellar year.

It was a year filled with difficult circumstances. Two years earlier I’d given up a …

Why Forgiveness Doesn’t Work and How to Change That

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

Have you ever wondered why it’s so difficult to forgive others?

We all know it feels better emotionally to let go of resentment and anger. We know that our minds are clearer and we function better when we’re not constantly yammering about that story of pain, betrayal, hurt, and humiliation. We even know that releasing all that junk is good for our physical health.

But it’s still hard, isn’t it?

As a doctor of psychology, I’ve learned that the amygdala, that part of our brains …

Take Back Your Power and Start Loving Your Life

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Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Lindsey Kasch

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Excuses. We all make them.

We make them for everything all the time without even realizing it, pointing the finger at someone or something else, anything or anyone but ourselves.

I didn’t think I made excuses. Blaming people? Who me? No way!

Once …

Learning is a Series of Steps: 7 Tips to Master a New Skill

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“The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you’re learning, you’re not old.” ~Rosalyn S. Yalow

A few weeks ago, at the age of thirty-something, I started the process of learning to drive.

To be completely honest, it has been a daunting experience, especially for an overachiever like me.

Most of the tasks I undertake I find relatively easy, but not driving.

Seeing as I’m an introspective kind of person, I‘ve been curious to identify what it is that I’ve been struggling with these past few weeks. The answer is an obvious one: fear.

Fear of …

Emotionally Closed Off No More – How I’m Healing My Pain and Learning to Love

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“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~ Buddha

There’s only one way to survive life. Shut down, or get hurt and die.

Well, that’s what I once believed.

At some point during my childhood I decided that the only way to survive in the world was to shut down and close off my heart. I’m sure given a choice I would have chosen only to avoid the pain of life (not the pleasure), …

The Transformative Powers of Pain: Healing from Abuse

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“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” ~Jean Paul Sartre

We all have our stories of how people have wronged us and caused pain. Allow me to tell you mine.

I’m a survivor of abuse: mental, emotional, physical, and sexual. I was born into a family of abusers and witnessed it from the day I was born until age sixteen.

As a child, I thought my family was perfect. However, when I was twelve years old, I realized just how truly dysfunctional my family was. It was as if a light bulb went off and the …

Shifting Suffering into Gratitude: Go Upside Down

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“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

They sound so cliché, sayings like, “There’s always a silver lining” or “Look on the bright side” or “there’s a positive to every negative.” Whenever struggle or suffering showed up in my life, those key expressions seemed to flow out of the mouths of family and friends.

That’s not to say they aren’t helpful. Sure, it helps a little to hear my best friend say, “It’s going to be ok,” when I spilled water all over my computer and lost everything—everything! …

Make Your Life a Mission Not an Intermission

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“Make your life a mission, not an intermission.” ~Arnold H. Glasgow

My eyes fluttered open. I could see the sunshine pouring through my rose-colored curtains. For a few golden seconds, there was quiet, there was peace. Then I remembered, “You have an audition today. Two hours away from where you live!”

I spun around so quickly that I made myself into a human burrito stuck in my blankets. I grabbed my cell phone. Wow—I had woken up, naturally, two hours before I even had to leave for my audition.

I wrestled with my blanket, and when I finally released myself …

A Simple Process to Turn Fear into Power

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“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Have you ever stopped to think about your definition of fear?

As my dear friend Mr. Webster states, fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

Simply put, I disagree with this definition of fear.

My definition of fear goes something like this….

“An opportunity for self discovery and self growth; a well of untapped personal power and strength; the gateway from wishing and wanting to doing and being.”

Yes, fear can be …

33 Things to Accept and Embrace

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“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Today is my 33rd birthday, and at this very moment I am likely sipping a fruity drink by a pool in Las Vegas.

My boyfriend and I go there often on his Monday and Tuesday off days because it’s not too far from LA; the weekday hotel rates are great; and we’re both huge fans of buffets, shows, and (occasional) poolside day drinking.

Since I’m writing this in advance, I can’t speak to how I actually feel right in this very moment, but …

Embracing Vulnerability and Putting Yourself Out There

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“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” ~Chinese Proverb

I’m not going to put myself out there.

I’m afraid to fail.

I’m afraid to succeed.

What are they going to say about me?

What if I’m not good enough?

What if they laugh at me?

Are people going to think I’m weird?

What are people going to think of me?

The list of worries goes on and on. Our minds like to swim in the ocean of complacency.

We all have fears. Let me repeat that—we all have fears. Guess …

You Can Blame Others or Save Yourself

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“You save yourself or remain unsaved.” ~Alice Sebold, Lucky

Last year was a year of great changes for me. I ended a three-and-a-half-year long toxic relationship, I started a new relationship (which fell apart six months later), I applied for a semester abroad, and started a full-time job while studying full-time, as well.

Honestly, I don’t know how I managed to survive this busy time, but I did, and in January 2012 I left for Stockholm.

It was the best six months of my life.

I met amazing people from all over the world and I found true friends among …

50 Amazing Gifts from Living In The Now

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“If we are not fully ourselves, truly in the present moment, we miss everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hahn

Recently something truly amazing happened. I was sitting at the beach feeling the warm winds, taking in the gleaming blue Pacific. It was the time of day when the sunlight turns the ocean into waves of sparkling radiance.

The beauty touched me deeply. In that appreciation of the moment, something shifted inside me. I became so present that my identity of self dissolved into the background.

I was not only in the universe, but the universe was now in me.

As I write …

Overcoming the Fear of Loss: 5 Steps to Get Unstuck

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

Of all the things that scare us, loss can seem like the most terrifying. At times, I’ve thought about it with such dread that it’s felt overwhelming.

Whenever I quit a job I hated in that past, I felt stuck between two loss-related fears: the fear of losing my passion by staying, and the fear of losing my financial security if I walked away and didn’t find something else.

Whenever I considered leaving a bad relationship, I felt paralyzed …

Transform Your Life: Lasting Change Starts from Within

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“All meaningful and lasting change starts on the inside and works its way out.” ~Anon

My life has been a journey of self-discovery—at times a very bumpy journey. I spent most of my life feeling angry with people and hurt because the way they treated me.

People would not always do what I expected of them, and this disappointed me. I used fear to get them to comply with my demands.

One day, my baby girl looked at me and said, “Dad, you don’t have to shout at me to make me love you.” My heart nearly exploded, and it …