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Search Results for "past relationship" — 1211 posts

How to Feel More Loved: 9 Tips for Deep Connection

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“It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.” ~John Bulwer

If there’s one thing we all want, it’s to feel loved.

We want to feel deeply connected to other people, fully seen and appreciated by them, and secure in those relationships.

We can have a million and one acquaintances online, but if none of our connections feel intimate and meaningful, we will ultimately feel alone.

There’s actually some interesting research that shows we tend to value physical possessions less when we feel loved and accepted by others, because relationships can provide a sense of comfort, insurance, …

Sometimes We Need to Go Backward Before We Can Move Forward

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“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” ~Albert Einstein

There I was in January, on the floor, physically and emotionally. From the outside, I probably looked like every one else attending yoga class off Robertson Blvd. that Sunday morning, but to me, on the inside, especially within my heart, I was in shambles.

And then, there was a moment I had not expected.

The waterworks came as I heard the teacher say, “Sometimes, you feel as though you are riding the bicycle backwards. You feel like you are backtracking and heading in the wrong direction, but really what’s …

How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Poor Choices and Minor Mistakes

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

I have just eaten enough pizza to satisfy three people and I’m feeling awful for having done it. Awful because my stomach can only hold so much, awful because I know I’m going to pay for eating it (dairy and I have a difficult relationship), and awful because I know I shouldn’t have done it.

This is what my internal monologue looks like:

Me: I feel so sick.
Inner Me: You shouldn’t have eaten so much then!

Me: I know but I really fancied …

Why the Grass is Never Greener and How to Be Happy Today

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“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

Lifestyle. Opportunities. Wealth. Just think how far we’ve come in the past 100 years—especially when you look at what we have today compared with our great grandmothers’ generation.

My great grandmother married very young, lived in the same place her whole life, and had 11 children. She never had a “career” and never got a chance to go on a vacation. Her life was hard, poor, and lacking in any real opportunity.

I wonder if she ever dreamed about moving to …

Keep Moving Forward: 4 Tips to Enjoy the Journey More

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“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

Five years ago, I decided to fulfill my dream of getting a doctorate. I knew from talking to friends who took on the same endeavor that it would mean many sleepless nights and tons of reading and writing. But nothing prepared me for the path that lay ahead.

Graduate school is often compared to a marathon. Why? At each moment, when you think you’ve completed a major milestone, you realize you have a long road ahead. You just have to keep going …

Tiny Wisdom: Be Good to Yourself

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“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” -Lama Yeshe

All too often we’re unforgiving and cruel to ourselves in a way we’d never treat our friends.

We’d never look a friend in the eyes and tell her she’s not good enough. We’d never beat a friend up over one mistake he made years ago. We’d never expect a friend to move mountains when she’s exhausted and clearly needs a rest.

Why do we sometimes do these things to ourselves?

So often when we think about self-love, we think about the big picture—forgiving ourselves…

Create Happiness through Honesty, Acceptance and Persistence

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“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” -Dalai Lama

I’ve spent most of my life engaged in “if only” scenarios. I’ve spent hours predicting my ideal future or rehashing the past, imagining what life would be like now if only I had done X, Y, and Z when I was 15.

When not lost in imaginations of my own making I would be cursing myself, telling myself that I should have achieved certain things by now.

Of course this only led to misery and dejection. By focusing on what I didn’t have, or what …

Tiny Wisdom: Do You Recognize and Receive Love?

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“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

After I wrote yesterday’s post about giving and receiving love, I started to think about the many times in the past when I felt love-deprived.

It’s easy to feel that way when we’ve been hurt or we think we’re alone—as if there aren’t any people who are really looking out for us.

In retrospect, I realize that when I felt this way, it wasn’t that no one loved me. It was that I was too …

Control Less, Trust More: How I Learned to Relax and Let Go

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“The closest to being in control we’ll ever be is in that moment when we realize we’re not.” ~Brian Kessler

My nine-year-old son said something so profoundly right that it kept me awake. He said that in order for him to be happier I would need to let go of controlling him all the time.

Now granted he is young, and believe me, if I didn’t tell him to get dressed he’d run outside in PJs, but I was struck by his wisdom because this is also my obstacle to becoming happier.

In the past, the more I felt out …

Tiny Wisdom: Life May Never Be Simple

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“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore I. Rubin

There are times when things get complicated and it has nothing to do with the choices we’ve made.

Sometimes everyone around us needs us for different things, right as our work is becoming more challenging, and we’re feeling confused about what we actually want to do with our lives.

Sometimes we receive medical or psychiatric diagnoses—and possibly both at the same time—right after being laid off and losing our health insurance.

Sometimes we feel we’ve made …

Stop Focusing on Lack to Fully Enjoy Your Experiences

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“Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” ~Epicurus

Yoga retreats in rural getaways nestled in tropical mountain spaces. Exploration trips for pleasure and business on the east and west coasts. Bike riding and people watching on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Recognition and sponsorship from leaders in my professional circle. Adventures with my husband and daughters in Jamaica.

Even with all these rich life experiences, still my focus was always the same: If I could just have more money, my life could finally get good.

The past year found me deep on a journey to discover the muted …

Book Giveaway and Interview: Rewire Your Brain for Love

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

An old friend once told me that women frequently say all the men they’ve dated have been jerks; and men frequently say all the women they’ve dated have been crazy.

You could chalk this up to gender differences, men being from Mars, women being from Venus and all that. But maybe there’s more to it. Maybe it’s actually our biology that influences how we act and interact—and why we often …

3 Ways to Forgive and Create Peace

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“Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind.” ~Buddha

It was a beautiful spring morning when I was terminated from my job. Before it happened, there were rumors, but I refused to believe that something like that could actually happen to me. I felt betrayed by the manner in which the termination occurred.

Without any substantiation, my company suggested that my ethics were compromised and I embezzled from the company funds. Soon thereafter I learned that the sole motive for the company was to replace me and my assistant with part-time employees to avoid paying full-time employee …

9 Lessons on Loss, Forgiveness, and Healing

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

I’m trying to meditate but I find myself overcome by sadness; I’m still grieving after all this time.

I’ve gone through phases of forgiveness recently that have shown me how to acknowledge the painful relationship I had with my mother, the anger and resentment we shared, and the loss of each other that we both went through the older we grew. Maybe it’s not as bad as that, but it feels like it.

My reflections have brought me closer to the woman who I never took …

Embrace Fear and Find Your Center: Riding With No Hands

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“Some people think it’s holding that makes one strong—sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

My mom leaned in and gave me a goodnight kiss. The only light illuminating her face was coming from the hallway. I looked up at her, and in the confidence of the dark confessed, “I saw it.”

“It” was my birthday present, waiting patiently for me to wake up in the morning and claim it from its place in the garage. “It” was a turquoise blue Stingray bicycle with a white pleather banana seat and an extra tall sissy bar.

I’d seen it by chance, tucked back …

Emotional Blind Spots: On Feeling Uncomfortable Feelings

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“Feelings or emotions are the universal language and are to be honored. They are the authentic expression of who you are at your deepest place.” ~Judith Wright

On March 12th of 2006 I faced an important decision: life or death? From my perspective, death seemed reasonable, logical, and easy. Life on the other hand was difficult and full of disappointment.

That was the day I realized I had no idea how to be happy or live with my true self. All I knew and felt in my soul was aloneness; an emotional black hole that consumed me.

Being Emotional

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Tiny Wisdom: Someone Has to Open Up First

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“Love is not love until love’s vulnerable.” -Theodore Roethke

Sometimes people submit posts and I swear I could have written them myself. In reading their stories—learning about the emotions they’re feeling and the pain they’re healing—I feel close to them; and I also develop a better understanding of myself and what I need to do to keep growing.

Other times, I can’t relate to their experiences, but suddenly I feel compassion for behaviors I may formerly have misunderstood.

This, I believe is the power of vulnerability. When we open up to each other, we invite people to understand us, and …

What Dogs Teach Us about Peace, Joy, and Living in the Now

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“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~Marianne Williamson

Are you a dog lover? I know I am.

Animals of all kinds can bring us so much joy, not only when things are going well, but also when we feel pain and are suffering.

“Man’s best friend” can be our true and faithful companions through thick and thin. We look to our pets when we are ready to play and laugh, and they instinctively know when we need their support.

I’ve had a dog most of my life. From purebreds …

10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow and Thrive

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“The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be.” ~Shakti Gawain

Keeping a journal has many positive benefits. Journaling can help with personal growth and development. By regularly recording your thoughts you will gain insight into your behaviors and moods.

Journaling can be used for problem-solving and stress reduction. It’s been proven to improve mental and physical health. It can lead to increased self-esteem.

Dr. John Grohol, CEO of Psych Central, estimates that one in three people suffer from a mental illness.  Anxiety disorders, mood disorders and substance abuse can be …

You Are Good Enough and You Deserve the Best

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“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

We sometimes make excuses as to why we don’t deserve the best.

We say that our relationship with our partner is good enough and that other people have much worse relationships. We don’t reach for our dreams because doing so would make us feel too selfish.

Isn’t it time you stopped letting fear run your life? That you stopped making excuses for why things aren’t better in your life?

Fear is an ugly word. It keeps us from true happiness because it prevents us from taking risks. …