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Search Results for "breakup" — 235 posts

How to Stop Feeling Consumed by Your Fear of Being Alone

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“Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser.” ~Unknown

You wake up and check your phone expecting a “good morning” text, but there’s nothing there. Going through your day, everything feels quieter and there’s a gaping hole inside of you that nothing seems to fill. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to shake that relentless ache for the one person who consumes your mind.

It’s an emptiness that makes you feel lost and scared.

There’s nothing quite like a breakup to spark fears of being alone. It’s like a wave of dread that hits …

I Thought It Was Love, But It Was Actually Abuse

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“Alone doesn’t always mean lonely. Relationship doesn’t always mean happy. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as being in the wrong relationship.” ~Unknown

I don’t know if it’s the conditioning of Disney movies that makes every young girl dream of finding her Prince Charming, but that was my experience. My prince entered my life just like that, saving me from my boredom and taking me on a roller coaster of excitement. He assured me that our love was going to last forever, and the naivety of being sixteen made me believe him.

It didn’t take long for his …

How to Fight Well in Your Relationship

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“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” ~Rumi

I had one of those really intense arguments with my partner recently, and it made me realize the importance of knowing how to fight well in a relationship.

That might sound like an oxymoron, but there isn’t a relationship I know of where the couple doesn’t fall out at one point or another. Fights can make or break a relationship. That’s why it’s important you know how to fight well—because the success of any relationship isn’t based on how well you manage the good times …

How I Stopped Feeling So Lonely and Disconnected

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If I were given the chance to relive my childhood, I wouldn’t take it. For the most part, those were times I’d rather forget. I didn’t get along well in school, and family life was less than ideal. About the only thing I liked about the seventies and eighties was the rock ‘n’ roll music.

As a kid growing up in Miami, I had an Asian look about me, even though I was of Hispanic descent. Many of the kids in school asked me if I was Chinese; some called me a stupid chink; and a few just beat me …

How to Accept That It’s Time to Break Up

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“Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together.” ~Marilyn Monroe

I knew it was over and yet I stayed.

In my eyes, my relationship had run its course. I was fed up, tired, and emotionally drained, but I couldn’t get myself to pull the trigger. I didn’t know how to go through with it.

Because this was my first serious relationship, everything was new to me, including breaking up. He was my first love. We lived together, built a life together, and now I was throwing a wrench into all of our bright plans for the …

How to Take Responsibility for Your Life and Change What Isn’t Working

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“The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.” ~Lou Holtz

I spent a devastatingly large part of my life trapped, blaming others for my troubles. I felt like I was bumbling around aimlessly and my life was out of my control.

I was working a soul-sucking job, with a huge amount of student debt. I was surrounded by fake, unsupportive friends, in a toxic relationship, and had extremely low self-esteem.

All of this was everyone else’s fault. I didn’t take responsibility for anything in my life that was …

How to Heal a Broken Heart Using Mindful Self-Compassion

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“It’s not your job to like me—it’s mine.” Byron Katie

Why are breakups so painful? Whether we are the dumper or the dumpee, the range of emotions we feel is universal: devastation, sadness, and anger. Oh, and there’s the acute pain, as if your heart had been gouged from your chest, stabbed a dozen times with a butter knife, and booted to the curb.

Am I right?

Of course I am. I’ve been there. We all have. I intimately experienced a broken heart and its rippling effects when my partner and I ended our seven-year relationship. I admit that I …

Knowing When to Let Go of Relationships: 3 Signs It’s Time to Move On

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“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” ~Deborah Reber

Thanks to the Internet, our lives are full of people. We’re connected literally all the time.

And yet, despite our ceaseless connection, we feel disconnected.

As the pace of life becomes ever more frenetic, we’re like charged atoms, bumping into each other more and more, pinballs in the machine. We come into contact (and conflict), but we don’t commune so much.

As real relationships of depth and quality become harder-won in this busy …

Growing in the Dark: Why “Negative Feelings” Matter

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“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.” ~Pema Chodron

Pop spirituality and our cultural attitude would have you think it best to banish negativity from your life. Give it the quarantine treatment until it gets better and can rejoin our polite, positive, placative society.

We are encouraged to cleanse negativity, a blanket descriptor of things that don’t feel good. Push it away with an exhale and inhale positivity. Anger, sadness, and critical thinking can all be forms of “bad vibes” that are sought to be …

My Needs Matter Too: How I Started Speaking Up and Setting Boundaries

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“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring just because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” ~Christine Morgan

In my early twenties, I could shout into a megaphone at a political rally of thousands, but I couldn’t decline drinks from strangers at the bar. I could perform original music for an attentive audience, but I couldn’t tell my friends when I felt hurt by something they’d said. I could start a business, advocate for new laws at City Hall, and share deeply personal poetry on Facebook, …

We Have to Own Our Part to Heal Our Broken Heart and Find a Deeper Love

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“True love does not only encompass the things that make you feel good, it also holds you to a standard of accountability.” ~Monica Johnson

I remember the confusion I felt as it slowly began to register to me that he had indeed read all of my messages and was indeed ignoring me. Even though my eyes were telling me this, it still didn’t make any sense.

Just the day before, he’d initiated contact, called me beautiful, and wanted to know the details of my day. We’d talked all day that day, as we normally did. But this was a new …

Beyond Sorry: A Better Way to Handle Conflict in Your Relationship

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“Sorry isn’t always enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.” ~Unknown

When I was young I was like every other kid, always in and out of trouble. I pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable in order to see what I could get away with. When I pushed, I’d often keep on pushing until someone said “stop.”

During my childhood I heard lots of:

“STOP!!” 

Quickly followed by:

“Say you’re sorry.”

Say those two magical words, “I’m sorry,” and all the pain will go away. Then I’ll be back in the good books and can go play with my friends …

How to Set Better Boundaries: 9 Tips for People-Pleasers

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“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” ~Doreen Virtue

I still have the journal entry that sparked my journey into boundary setting. It says, in striking black pen, “I wish I could speak my truth. If I can learn to speak my truth before I die, I will die a happy woman.”

Dramatic? Maybe. But I was tired of being a pushover, a people-pleaser.

I’d written it the day after I’d been the recipient of unwanted advances at a bar. For thirty minutes, a stranger had engaged me in aggressive conversation, peppered in flirtation, and …

Happily Single: Why Marriage Wasn’t a Good Fit for Me

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“I’m not sad about any of my life. It’s so unconventional. It doesn’t look anything like I thought it would.” ~Edie Falco

I knew what was coming. My co-worker Rose was midway through her second chocolate martini and feeling loose enough at our after-work get-together to stop talking about her marriage and instead, start talking about my non-marriage.

“I don’t get it. Why haven’t you ever been married?” she asked, in a disbelieving tone.

I sighed. “You know, this is the third time you’ve asked me that. Remember? We had that whole conversation about it at the office Christmas …

How Getting Dumped Before My Wedding Made Me a Better Person

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“The root of suffering is attachment.” ~The Buddha

Getting dumped a few weeks before my wedding was the most painful experience of my life to date, but how I came through it is the single proudest moment of my life.

When I met with his mother four years after the breakup, she said she’d felt so guilty over these past few years. “I loved you like a daughter, and he’s my son—I never want any of my children to feel that pain.”

I told her I was glad it happened, not for the fact that the breakup needed to …

The Secret to Ending Your Suffering

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“You can have your experience without your experience having you.” ~Linda Pransky

You’re no doubt aware that your moods can fluctuate from day to day, even moment to moment. I think most people can appreciate, when they really consider it, that their state of mind is a big variable in their experience of life. What they don’t always see is that their state of mind is responsible for 100% of their experience.

The problem is, it’s often hard to remember this or feel consoled by this when you’re stuck, living in your head, feeling bad.

When you’re stuck in anxious…

No Piece of Advice Is Right for Everyone, at All Times

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“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain ability to function.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ever been inspired by a quote or an article you read on a self-improvement site like Tiny Buddha?

I mean so inspired that you instantly and wholeheartedly started to apply the advice—no questions asked.

Not only that, but in your inspiration, you started to brag about your newfound wisdom to all your friends.

You just couldn’t shut up about this new piece of wisdom!

If a friend was going through …

Why Your Positive Attitude Might Be Hurting You

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“Positivity is a dogmatic insistence on turning away from what is painful.” ~Susan Piver, Wisdom of a Broken Heart

What if I told you there may be a flaw in positive thinking?

How could being positive possibly be unhelpful?

To some extent, positivity can be beneficial. In my life I’ve found optimism to be quite wonderful, crucial even.

Being around people who are generally positive is just far more pleasant than being around people who are constantly negative. Life seems a little bit more manageable when you can practice gratitude. Smiles are had and spirits are lifted with simple platitudes …

How to Get in Shape When You Feel Lazy and Unmotivated

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“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” ~Jin Ryun

Can I be brutally honest with you for a moment?

I was the “fat kid” growing up, and I’ve struggled to find the motivation to lose weight and lead a healthy lifestyle my whole life.

I first realized I was fat when the teacher asked for a volunteer to play Santa in the third grade Christmas play, and Aaron Valadez loudly blurted out, “Tim would be perfect for the role since he’s already got the belly!”

I literally died right there. Mortified.

This was the …

How to Recover from Heartbreak and Feel Whole Again

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“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” ~Iain Thomas

A deep heaviness and uneasiness began to pulsate throughout my body. Warm, salty tears streamed down my face at all hours of the day. It felt like all the best parts of me were gone and would never return.

Heartache can be one of the hardest things to overcome in life. …