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30 Reminders for Sensitive People Who Feel Drained, Ashamed, or Judged
“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate.”~Anthon St. Maarten
There are some words that get painfully etched into our memories as if with a red-hot poker. For me, growing up, those words were “you’re too sensitive.”
I often caught this phrase in the fumbling hands of my shame after someone chucked it at me with callousness and superiority as a means to justify their cruelty.
They may have said something vicious or condescending in private, or …
5 Ways to Heal from a Highly Critical, Controlling Parent
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay
When I was growing up, it felt like nothing was good enough for my dad. And all I longed for was his acceptance and love.
He had this temper that would blow up, and he’d blame me for how he felt. He would outright tell me his behavior was my fault. That if I’d behaved better, he wouldn’t have had an outburst.
When he told me I wasn’t enough or worthy, I believed him. I was constantly walking on eggshells …
How Toast Changed My Life and Helped Me Stop Bingeing
One day, toast changed my life.
It was many years ago, when I was working as a personal trainer and nutrition and wellness coach.
I spent my days helping people “get fit” and “eat healthy,” so of course I was always preaching about lifestyle changes, “healthy” eating, and “whole, clean, nutritious” food, while demonizing “processed” foods, as most others in those worlds do.
Toast, at the time, was a big no-no. Especially toast made with white bread.
That’s basically blasphemy in the “healthy eating” world, with two strikes against it. First, bread has carbs, which I learned, from Atkins in …
How to Live a ‘Good Life’ (Almost Every Single Day)
“If your vision of your life centers on your highest values, you will be aligned with your dharma far above everyday existence. Whatever the values are—love, creativity, service, spiritual growth, beauty, or whatever you choose—dedicating yourself to the highest values unites purpose and inner growth as nothing else can.” ~Deepak Chopra
I wasted almost a decade of my life. Don’t make the same mistake as me.
On my fortieth birthday, I found myself lying in bed, fully awake at 5 a.m., with a tightness in my throat.
“A new decade,” I thought, without much excitement.
Staring at the ceiling, I …
Why I Quit Beast Mode and How I Traded Burnout for Peace and Balance
“Beast mode.” Sounds pretty badass, doesn’t it?
It’s like an adrenaline-fueled battle cry, a call to arms. It’s a way of life that’s all about giving every single thing you’ve got to every single thing you do.
For most of my life, I lived this mantra—and prided myself for living this way.
In fact, I had a sticker on my bathroom mirror with the words “beast mode” that I stared at all the time. It was my constant reminder to be all in, every single day, pushing harder, reaching further.
But here’s the reality check: Life isn’t supposed to be …
6 Things to Remember When You Feel Anxious in Your Relationships
“Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” ~Kahlil Gibran
Relationships have always been anxiety-inducing for me, and I know it stems from my childhood.
As a kid I would often silently mouth words I’d just said, hearing them in my mind and evaluating whether I’d said something stupid or wrong. I was always afraid of saying something that might make someone upset.
Junior high was a particularly rough time in my life. I was insecure and had low self-esteem, and I was desperate for approval from other kids, which made me …
How Boundaries Help You Stay True to Yourself (And Two Practices to Try Today)
“The more you value yourself, the healthier your boundaries are.” ~Lorraine Nilon
I want to talk about the direct correlation between boundaries and self-love. Because when we truly love ourselves and have a healthy self-worth and self-concept, setting boundaries becomes a natural extension of that.
Without boundaries, we either become walled off and protect ourselves from others, which creates a sense of deep isolation and loneliness, or we become enmeshed with others. We often find ourselves living on their side of the street, working overtime to manage, fix, caretake, or be needed by them, all while neglecting ourselves and our …
How It Got Better: My LGBTQ+ Journey from Shame to Pride
2003 was when the “gay devil” (as I referred to him at the time) made his first appearance inside my unprepared thirteen-year-old mind. On a trip to Mexico that year, he sat perched on my shoulder while my family and I were out to lunch at an outdoor taqueria. The girl at the table next to us had tan skin and brown-blond hair, and wore sunglasses and a spaghetti-strap black tank top.
My “gay devil” noticed her and made sure I did too. As the words “She’s hot” crash-landed from his taunting lips into my unsuspecting mind, I flinched—then …
The Hidden Reasons You’re Stuck (And What to Do When Conventional Advice Fails)
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~M. Scott Peck
Have you ever been in a situation or a stage in your life where you’ve felt physically stuck, as if you’ve fallen into some kind of invisible quicksand that you can’t get out of?
Or maybe it’s felt more like you have a thick, invisible elastic …
How I Embraced Alcohol-Free Living: 4 Things That Made It Easier
“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” ~Abraham Maslow
A few years ago I decided to take a break from alcohol, and I also decided I would probably be lonely, miserable, and boring for the duration of my break.
I’d allowed a lot of social conditioning to affect me, and I was sure people who didn’t drink either had no friends, had hit a drastic rock bottom, or had no fun. I didn’t know if I was going to find happiness or even contentment on the other side of my drinking career, …
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