Most of my anxiety comes from thinking or believing I know my purpose but convincing myself that it is unnattainable. This only makes my mind go on a downward sprial into the depths of anxiety and I drive myself nuts thinking about all of the people who are doing what they love, meanwhile I’m sitting here doing nothing.
I classifiy a goodday as one where I feel that I can do anything as long as I set my mind to it. But I become discouraged easily which is probably my biggest problem.

Sometimes I am awake. Sometimes I’m not.
Sometimes I believe in myself. Sometimes I don’t.

I want and try to re-connect with myself and when I am doing the things I love, I feel alive. Taking some time each day to convince yourself you can do anything you believe you can do is a crucial part of staying awake, even when pebbles of doubt are tossed your way.

Hello Ginger,

I agree with Katerina and Marilyn, and you should take a look at Marilyn´s website, in it she has a lot of great information that may help you, as it has to do with the spirit. I recommend it for you.
I can´t tell you that everything will be fine, because no one knows. But what I may tell you is that worrying will get you nowhere. You need to learn from life and your mistakes, and promise to yourself that you will learn from it, and to move forward in life, in a more positive way. I am an Anxiety Psychotherapist, and I believe what you may have is an Anxiety Disorder, and definitely keep with your meds… how long have you been taking them? You should seek a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, specialized in Anxiety Disorders. A diagnosis of your anxiety will help to know your treatment approach.
You may want to learn some Energy Psychology, and for it, you should read about EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and Emotrance… you may find them at http://www.emotrance.com and http://www.emofree.com , also, you should take a look at my website, I have developed an Energy Psychology approach, called HandLink Technique… You may download the manual completely free, just signing up, or tweeting about it… you may find it at http:sightforsoreeyes.net and last but not least… check Marilyn´s website.

I hope it helps… and don´t despair, you may find help and information here, with this great forum and people…

Carlos.

Hi GlassSpirit,
I relate to your post. My children have coped with my divorce in different ways. My son already had a therapist, so that was a very good thing in place already. My daughter however, powered through it like she usually does with things. She has a very driven personality. It is only now, 5 years later, that I see some effects it’s had on her. I always offer to help her get support outside of me, when she is having a tough time. So far she has declined. I ‘ve decided to trust she will get more out of it when she is ready. I focus on my own healing, believing that my modeling is a powerful help to my children. I strongly feel that when your daughter cries over things, she is releasing pain from all the losses she has had in life. I find it a hopeful good sign she can do this regularly! Trust she is healing every time she grieves, even it if isnt directly related to talking about the divorce. Children go through a profound loss, as do we, with divorce. I try to remember that for myself, and my kids.

Hugs, to you and you daughter, Lily

Dear Torn,
I will try to help you with two perspectives. First, I have been married twice. The first time I was too young (19 years old). Now I´ve been married for 7 years. The second marriage I treasure it, and I constantly make it work, because life of the married is not just like the fairytales. What you are feeling for this woman, I can imagine, cause it has happened to me also. I see this woman once in a while, and every time I see her…I would give anything to be able to hold her in my arms. It feels very strange.. She physically is beautiful, on a scale from 1 to 10 I would give her a 10. I have to tell you that my wife is also beautiful, I would give her almost a 9 which is great.
Every time I see this woman, I get like a rush inside of me, it´s like a drug or something..and I almost feel dizzy. What I do, is try to think, WHAT I AM PROJECTING on her… I agree with Marilyn, it is like a mirror. You project your psyche, inner self, towards somebody else… Think about it, you don´t really know that woman… Neither do I… It can also, be a chemical reaction.

Perspective number 2, I´m a psychologist, and I can tell you that people tend to project into others the inner self… If we talk about the subconscious, Karl Jung, stated that we have unconscious images that control our inner self. This images are called archetypes. Every man has an archetype called ANIMA, and every woman has an ANIMUS… The female and the male counterparts. We project into women our female inner self, and they project unto us their masculine self. Both of them, unite and help you develop and mature. So maybe, you are projecting onto her, what you need… and you need to take a moment to search inside… the answer to your riddle is INSIDE yourself…and not OUTSIDE…
When you are ready to attract what you need… you liberate hormones, and pheromones as in animals…so your psyche and your body are trying to make you attract her in order to WORK an issue of your INNER SELF.

Try to remain calm, let the anxiety to subside.. and after it subsides, try to think why are you attracting or feeling attracted to her?

Peace of mind,

Carlos.

Hi Ginger,

I experienced the exact same things as you are experiencing now. I was an addict, suffered from depression and anxiety attacks and felt like life was passing me by. Even two counselors could not help me feel better. I hope yours is better and will be able to help you. I just thought I’d share some things that have helped me a lot:
– start some form of intense physical exercise. This helps with physical stress and tension, and it releases serotonin into your brain which instantly makes you feel better.
– meditate: it will help you let go of negative thoughts, fears and anxiety
– find something you love to do and do it often. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as you enjoy doing it.
– stop watching TV: TV has the same effect on your brain as drugs and it is easy to get lost in it. If you really want to watch a certain show, watch in on dvd. This way you can watch in when you want and there will be no commercials. Think about what would happen if you were to spend all those hours you lose by watching tv on improving your health and the quality of your life. On average people watch 3 hours of tv per day. That’s a total of 1095 hours per year. If you work 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, it will take you more than 21 weeks to get to 1095 hours. If you spend 21 weeks a year on improving how you feel and on improving the quality of your life, there is no limit to what you can achieve.
– eat healthier: Food has a huge impact on how you feel. Eating unhealthy will make you feel depressed. Eating healthy will make you feel good and give you tons of energy. Even adding one green smoothie to your diet everyday can make a huge difference. The more changes you make, the bigger the effect.

These things are easy to do, cost no money and you can start doing them right away. You will start to notice changes very quickly if you follow through with them.
The thing with fear, anxiety and depression is that they will not go away by ‘waiting’. You have to create the changes yourself. Set some attainable goals for yourself and take life day by day.

Best of luck to you!

Hi Melissa,

First I want to say that you did what you had to do, and I too congratulate you on your decision. I am a clinical psychologist and Anxiety Disorders specialist. I am not from the U.S. I have to tell you that you may be having what is called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A person like him does not deserve your emotions. You have given him all your emotional power, and you need it back. You need to move on in YOUR life, and I agree with Lori and Marilyn. I have to tell you, men like that NEED to have therapy, or they won´t stop! until they have hurt you or even worse…

You need to get control of your own emotions, Meditation may help you, but you also need something that addresses emotions directly… I would suggest to look up EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique, or even better Emotrance. They both belong to what is called Energy Psychology and may help you cope with negative emotions. You should find them FREE, the basic stuff anyway… at http://www.emotrance.com and http://www.emofree.com

If not, send me a message and I will show you them completely FREE. You need it. in just a few minutes you may shed negative emotions and start getting back your life.

Also, right now… take a DETERMINATION… to move FORWARD in your life…. say it like this: 1)PUt your right hand around your chest, like if you are singing the national anthem… right on a spot that hurts a little… and pressing it, say three times this phrase… “Even though, I still feel ..(FILL in the blank) for ….(subjects name), I completely accept myself.” This will treat what is called a Psychological Reversal… or a self sabotage, and the thought of getting back with him…

If this helps, or if you need more help or want it explained better… send me a message… I have in my site a video that may explain it… completely free… so no worries… but only if you want to see it.

Please, take a look at emotrance, or EFT, and work with them your anger, guilt, etc.

And please, just ask… I may help you, completely and absolutely FREE. Just to help you.

You are NOT ALONE, and there is always some help…

Carlos.

Hi Carl,

I am a psychotherapist and and psychology professor in my country El Salvador. My two cents of help for you today would be to try and see your disorders as divided and not as a whole disorder. What I mean with this is that you need to treat your anxiety and panic/agoraphobia apart from your bipolar disorder. Keep taking your meds, if you are medicated. If you are not, I would definitely consider taking them, mostly for your bipolarity.

I am an Anxiety therapist and I would suggest to look for anxiety therapists in your area, or university… You need to look for what is called an Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy. It is part of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach to anxiety. Seek specialized help in anxiety, cause you need to get diagnosed properly in your anxiety disorder, and if it is left untreated, it gets worse with time.

Good luck, and hope to have helped you.

Carlos

Hi Kavetha, Hi Sheila,

Love your websites by the way… I am interested in your topics. I am a clinical psychologist, and university professor in El Salvador. I work a lot with Anxiety Disorders, and have started this year a site devoted to Living a meaningful life…

Kavetha, Mindfulness is a great therapy, I love it, patients love it, children love it. I wish people would have found it earlier!

Sheila, I´m intrigued on your information about the colors,… do you get it from color psychology?

And Last… just wanted to say hello to both of you, and thank you for helping people, just like I do.

Great to get to know you.

Carlos