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Posts tagged with “Change”

Knowing What to Do When the Path You’re On Feels Wrong

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“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” ~Cherokee Proverb

Age is a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s both an internal and external measurement by which many of us, consciously or not, judge our successes and failures, and it’s how others often judge us: “She’s so young to be CEO.” “He’s too old to be a quarterback now.” “Those guys should have stopped touring years ago.” “How old is that woman he’s dating?”

Measurement is part of our culture.

Paradoxically, we initially choose our life paths when we are the least prepared to understand the significance of our decisions.…

How to ROCK Your Rock Bottom and Reinvent Yourself

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“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

I wasn’t always the ridiculously attractive (and humble) Jason you see before you. No, from a very young age I was overweight. I am an only child raised by a single, very hard-working mom. Her crazy work schedule meant that cooking meals was rarely a feasible option. This meant we ate at restaurants or had fast food quite often.

Couple that with my extreme TV watching habits and only going outside when forced, and …

3 Vital Lessons on Living a Life That Won’t Lead to Regret

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brene Brown

Even though I’m a psychologist who has been working in the field of development and assessment for the last thirteen years, sometimes it still takes more than reading a theory in a book, or even seeing something work with a client, to make it real for me.

Here are three of the moments that have had the most impact on me and the way I live my life.

1. Each of us has the power to

…

Owning Our Stories: Overcoming The Fears That Make Us Play Small

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“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brené Brown

It’s taken me a long time to figure out my story.

I kept thinking, “Nothing particularly dramatic has happened to me, so how can I have a story?”

Yet recently, after years of personal growth work, that’s shifted. I see the golden thread that weaves through my story and what that means for how I show up and what I bring to the world.

I now see that this whole thing about owning your story …

6 Things to Do When You Feel Small and Insignificant

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“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” ~Robert Schuller

On nights when the stars shine bright in the Arizona desert, I remember to tell myself to pay attention to the universe’s handiwork. From space, the Earth is a mere speck in the galaxy. I am humbled by this knowing, by my smallness. I call it my Ratatouille moment.

Ratatouille is an animated movie that tells a story of a dreamer, a remarkable rat named Remy, who aspires to be a chef. Emerging from the sewers one day, Remy was shown a different vantage point of the city.

To his …

Stop Attracting Unhealthy Relationships: 3 Promises to Make to Yourself

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“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.”  ~Unknown

For years, I was entering relationships with men where I saw their potential to be a good match for me, if only they would completely change who they were.

For twelve years, it was the same pattern until one day I finally realized something was broken.

After my last unsuccessful relationship, where I was just holding on, hoping he would change and be the person I wanted him to be, I had had enough. So, I took a much-needed hiatus to …

Breaking the Rust: 7 Tips to Move Forward When You Feel Stuck

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“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~Glenda Cloud

The squeak emanating from my office chair had finally become unbearable. Like a slow drip of acid on the surface of my psyche, it had finally burned its way into my head.

I stopped working on the article I was writing and strode into the garage to retrieve my toolbox. Time to replace that rusted out wheel with the shiny new one that I’d bought months ago.

I leapt into action purposefully. Today, things would change.

Three of the four bolts holding the wheel in place were out when things ground to …

Getting Unstuck: Work Through Fear and Change Your Life

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“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

We’ve all been there. Feeling stuck is very distressing, and it can often make a situation feel even more difficult than it already appears to be.

Many of us may have felt trapped in a job, a relationship, a place; any unfavourable situation, really, that we see little way out of can leave us feeling deeply discouraged.

The uncertainty of it all becomes overwhelming and, over time, paralyzing.

I have felt the frustration, the sadness, and the hopelessness that accompany this predicament many times.

In …

How Accepting Your Circumstances Can Help You Find Something Better

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

I’m on an old bus in Kathmandu, the capital of Nepal, where I’m staying on a three-month tourist visa. I look through the window at the streets, dirty beyond belief.

Thick dust in the air mixes with the pollution of exhaust fumes; I see men spitting on pavements and small children with greasy hair roaming the streets in search of people kind enough to give a few coins.

I witness dirty stray dogs that look like they have rabies, mingling in the crowd; …

When You’re In Transition: Being Patient and Accepting Uncertainty

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“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.” ~Celestine Chua

Change is never easy, yet it’s always around us. Sometimes it hits us over the head (if you experience divorce, a career change, a move, or a loss of a loved one). Other times, it’s hiding around the next corner. And most of the time, it’s happening even we don’t even know it.

My father firmly believed in the adage the only constant is change. Myself, however, I avoided change as much as I could because I didn’t want to deal with uncertainty.

After a well-scheduled high school …

A Simple, Tiny Exercise to Help You Make a Big Change

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“Change is inevitable. Growth is intentional.” ~Glenda Cloud

Growing up, I never had that many friends. The concept of best friends is still foreign to me. For the first seventeen years of my life, I found myself happier alone than in the presence of other people.

I wanted to join them; I just didn’t know how.

In order to protect myself from people I’d rather not mention, I decided to join a karate class. For the first time I belonged to a group that was slowly starting to accept me.

In the months that followed, I began to go out …

How to Maintain Healthy Habits and Stop Sabotaging Yourself

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“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

About two years go, I felt horrible about myself and where I was in my life: single, struggling to lose weight, miserable in my job (and no clue what to do about it), and unfulfilled in general.

I kept trying to bully myself in order to be the person I wanted to be and have the things I wanted to have.

I kept saying to myself, “I can’t believe you said/ate/did that. There’s something wrong with you” and giving myself strict rules to follow, …

Hang Up the Superhero Cape: We Don’t Have to Do It All Alone

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“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

In the spring of 2008 when my son was only seven months old, I received a text message from his stay-at-home dad while I was at work. The text read, “He’s in the crib.” I did not respond because those five words said everything I needed to know.

My son’s father had left us, and worse, he had left my son alone in his crib. I was at work fifteen miles away. 

Adrenaline is an interesting thing. I don’t remember many details about that …

What to Do When You Find It Hard to Do What’s Good for You

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“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

I know how you feel.

You know you shouldn’t eat that cookie, but it’s as if there’s something from deep within that compels you to move your arm forward, pick it up, and consume it in one, grandiosely guilty gesture.

You find yourself performing entire series of behaviors—like reaching into your pocket, picking out the pack, getting the cigarette, and lighting it—without even realizing what you’ve done until you’ve got the thing in your mouth.

You promise yourself you won’t complain, judge, or …

Change Your Life: Be Honest with Yourself and Make Conscious Choices

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“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon

During the last year I have made significant changes. I have changed my habits, values, thoughts, and perception of life. It has been an amazing journey and I have learned some valuable lessons that I want to share with you about happiness, motivation, and standing up for decisions you believe in.

I have always loved attention and I have always loved to party. In Denmark, it is not unusual that students drink two to three times a week, and I used to do that, as well.

Last year I …

3 Things to Do When a Friendship Starts to Fade

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“When we can no longer change a situation, we must change ourselves.” ~Victor Frankl

There are a million reasons why a friendship may change over time. You grow older, relocate for a job, have a fight, or start having kids.

It is an inevitable fact that life takes people in new directions; growing apart from old friends becomes a part of our lives. But, somehow I thought that I was immune, that this was someone else’s story.

My friends would be there with me forever.

We celebrated every single New Year’s together. We survived college, breakups—you name it.  Our bond …

A Simple Way to Make the World a Little Better Every Day

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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~Leo Buscaglia

When I was seventeen years old, I decided to make a change.

Instead of keeping my opinions to myself, I was going to start sharing them.

Every time I had a kind thought about someone, I was going to tell them. And anytime I heard a compliment about someone who wasn’t in the room, I would let them know.

If I …

When Life Feels Crazy: 6 Questions for Cracking Up & Breaking Through

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“Every really new idea looks crazy at first.” ~Abraham H. Maslow

Once, when I was in a painting workshop, I hit a wall of resistance, totally stumped by what to paint next.

My painting teacher came over to explore some questions that could help unblock me. But my “wall” was concrete, or industrial metal, or super-duper spy-movie-like with some computer-code contraption locking all security systems down.

“What if a crazy woman came into the room?” she asked me. “What if the crazy woman painted for you? What would she do?”

“She would explode everything up!” I answered.

“What would she …

The Antidote to Criticism: Turn Others’ Doubt Into a Standing Ovation

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“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

Gangly and skinny, I never attracted much attention from the opposite sex during high school. I was the friendly and funny sidekick to the popular girls—fun to hang out with but not to date.

When an older guy approached me during my last year of high school, I thought it would be a normal high school romance.

It turned out that our relationship wouldn’t be anything close to “normal.”

As I began to get to know him, everyone around me started to object to …

You’re Not Behind; You’re Just on Your Own Path

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“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Sven Goran Eriksson

Endlessly comparing ourselves to others and idealizing their best qualities while underestimating our own are self-defeating behaviors, and they hurt our self-esteem. Yet in the competitive nature of our world, many of us do this.

As a result of my own self-defeating thoughts, throughout my life, I’ve repeatedly felt like I was five years behind where I “should” be.

After high school graduation, many of my peers went away to school and into a new wave of social experiences.

I stayed home, worked, and …