I’ve Learned from My Bad Choices
Source: Million Feelings
Posts tagged with “choices”
Stop Looking for Signs and Trust Yourself
“Always try to remember that most of the things that happen in this world aren’t signs. They happen because they happen, and their only real significance lies in normal cause and effect. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you start trying to pry the meaning out of every gust of wind or rainsquall. I’m not denying that there might actually be a few signs that you won’t want to miss. Knowing the difference is the tricky part.” ~David Eddings
A few years ago I took the Buddhist precepts at a Zen monastery in northern California. At the end of the ceremony …
Changing Directions: 6 Tips to Help You Do What’s Right for You
“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” ~Lao Tzu
One month before my girlfriend, Sara, gave birth to our first child, we decided to move back to my small hometown to be close to my family.
This was a great moment for my family, especially for my mom and dad, who had given up hope of me moving back a decade ago.
I sold my apartment and we signed a rental lease in my hometown. Everything was set and good to go. Sara and I were happy, and we had a plan to …
When You Feel Pressured and Overwhelmed by Possibilities
“Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.’” ~Marianne Williamson
I have exhausted myself with my own expectations. The pressure I have put on myself to be a certain person is consuming my thoughts and eating away at my soul.
I imagine a point in my life when I’ll have it all together, and I feel a sting in my chest that this has not happened yet.
I think about the milestones that might get me there and the things that have led me astray. I …
Why You Shouldn’t Wait For Others to Validate Your Decisions
“Do not let another day go by where your dedication to other people’s opinions is greater than your dedication to your own emotions!” ~ Steve Maraboli
One thing I’m great at is procrastinating. Another thing, overanalyzing every decision I make.
I can even question and try to reason which route I should take to walk the dog. It is truly outrageous, when I think about it.
This leads to paralysis through analysis, and inevitably a fear to commit to change. This is how I got stuck.
A few years ago I was feeling immobile and underwhelmed in my life. I …
Rethinking Mistakes and Recognizing the Good in “Bad” Choices
“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown
For most of my life, I’ve seen the world in black and white, and I’ve felt constricted and pained as a result.
When I was a young girl, I believed there were good people and bad people, and I believed I was bad.
When I was an adolescent, I believed there was good food and bad food, and because everything tasty fell into the latter category, I channeled the shame from feeling bad into bulimia.
And when I grew into adulthood, I believed there were good decisions and bad …
How to Hear Your Intuition When You Don’t Know What to Do
“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs
Sitting in my office, I stared at the email in front of me.
My heart sank.
All energy and joy left me, to be replaced with confusion, anxiety, and a deep sense of frustration.
As adrenalin rushed through my veins, one question engulfed my mind leaving little room for the answer.
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
I just didn’t know.
The email was from a client. Someone who I had worked with for a …
Releasing the Need for Certainty and Trusting Our Decisions
“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown
If you’re like me, you’re hard on yourself—and I mean hard.
You analyze your decisions and try to somehow calculate the results of your actions to feel a sense of certainty. Little did you know that searching for the certainty causes all of your insides to do flips and only causes more uneasiness.
What I always wonder is where did the need to know come from? I remember being a free spirit with no worries as a child (as …
Let Go of Regret by Making a Promise to Yourself
“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown
Regret can be such a paralyzing emotion, yet it is also universal. At some point in our lives, in one way or another, we each wrestle with regret.
Regret seems to rear its ugly head most when it comes to relationships. It happens when a relationship ends and we feel as if we could have done something more. This feeling intensifies when the other person decides that a second chance is not worth the fight. Most of all, we face with regret once it sets in that the past …
Trusting Yourself to Make Decisions Instead of Always Seeking Advice
“To thine own self be true.” ~William Shakespeare
No one knows the real you but you. Sometimes it is true that we don’t know ourselves. That’s because we’ve lost ourselves, or maybe because we never knew ourselves to begin with.
I grew up a long time ago on a hill on Bentley road in Puyallup, Washington. I was a very quiet, shy, and reserved little girl. Today, I am a forty-two-year-old woman. I am still introverted, but I am learning to be more assertive.
As a co-dependent people pleaser, I grew up with a lot of self-doubt and …
How to Hear Your Inner Wisdom When Making Tough Choices
“Everyone who wills can hear their inner voice. It is within everyone.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Do you struggle with listening to your inner voice? Do you doubt yourself and every inner signal you get? You’re not alone.
A decade ago, I didn’t know that I could follow my heart. I’d never heard of the concept inner wisdom, or inner voice.
I started following my interests and doing what made me feel good, and this is the essence of doing what you love and listening to that subtle voice inside of you.
The problems start when we listen too much to outside …
Honoring Our Inner Voices to Make the Right Choices for Us
“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson
After high school I moved to the northern tip of Vancouver Island to live with my aunt and uncle and work at their fishing resort. It was a busy tourist destination at the time. Every summer the town filled with young people, home from university and eager to earn money.
I loved my time up there. I met many interesting, colorful people from around the world who came to fish, whale watch, kayak, or …
How to Find Clarity When You’re Confused About What to Do
“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero
You know that state of confusion where you feel really unsure about what to do—you’re talking about it with all of your friends, making lists, weighing options, lying awake all night?
As confused and unsure as you may feel in those moments, you’re not. You have much more clarity than you think.
Re-read that last line again. You have a lot more clarity than you think. You see, clarity is what you are. It’s what you’re born with, it’s your true nature, and it’s what is always there underneath the …
Change Your Life: Be Honest with Yourself and Make Conscious Choices
“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon
During the last year I have made significant changes. I have changed my habits, values, thoughts, and perception of life. It has been an amazing journey and I have learned some valuable lessons that I want to share with you about happiness, motivation, and standing up for decisions you believe in.
I have always loved attention and I have always loved to party. In Denmark, it is not unusual that students drink two to three times a week, and I used to do that, as well.
Last year I …
Following Your Internal Compass and Making Your Own Decisions
“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha
Dad, who at the time was a fighter pilot in the United States Marine Corps, taught me how to navigate using a compass. The family was on a vacation in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. I was nine.
He got me up that morning before dawn. Mom made us a huge breakfast. I was so excited because I knew that day, I would climb my first mountain.
No, it wasn’t …
You’re Not Behind; You’re Just on Your Own Path
“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Sven Goran Eriksson
Endlessly comparing ourselves to others and idealizing their best qualities while underestimating our own are self-defeating behaviors, and they hurt our self-esteem. Yet in the competitive nature of our world, many of us do this.
As a result of my own self-defeating thoughts, throughout my life, I’ve repeatedly felt like I was five years behind where I “should” be.
After high school graduation, many of my peers went away to school and into a new wave of social experiences.
I stayed home, worked, and …
Making Difficult Choices: 6 Helpful Tips
“You are your choices” ~Seneca
It was supposed to be the most beautiful day of my life. And on the surface of it, it most definitely was:
Delicious food? Check. Glorious sunshine? Check. Excited guests? Check. Radiantly happy couple? Umm…rain check?
I hadn’t chosen him. He had been chosen for me. I had agreed to the marriage without a doubt, but as I stared down at my henna-painted hands adorned with gold of the 24-carat nature, I felt poor. I felt cheated. I felt like the victim of my own decisions.
The heavy fog of doubt started to cloud over …
What To Do When You Don’t Know What to Do
“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” ~Chinese Proverb
Here’s the thing: I don’t know what to do.
About this thing, about that thing. About big things and small things.
About anything.
Actually, to be honest, even the smallest thing seems big when I don’t know what to do about it. The state of “not knowing what to do” is like some kind of Miracle Grow for small things in my mind.
This is not a new thing. Not knowing what to do is a particular and well-honed talent of mine. …
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