fbpx
Menu

Posts tagged with “goals”

How I Recognized My Fear of Failure and How I’m Mindfully Overcoming It

By

“The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source. Instead of trying to escape from our fear, we can invite it up to our awareness and look at it clearly and deeply.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My daughter began taking tumbling classes a week before her eighth birthday. She had been dancing since the age of three, and those classes included instructions for cartwheels and roundoffs. The harder stuff, like the back walkover, required tumbling or gymnastics classes, and she wanted the chance to be able to show …

Making Big Decisions: How to Discern the Whispers of Your Soul

By

“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti

“I can’t believe they are taking her side over mine. I gave this job so many years, and she decides to walk in and mess it all up for me,” I said to my husband.

A few years back, when I was working full time at my corporate job, I got into a disagreement with a team member. It spiraled out of control to the point where my boss then had to have a sit-down with us. I was so humiliated and angry that he could not see my side.

They …

Are You Sick of Waiting, Wanting, and Wishing for a Better Life?

By

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” ~Walter Elliott

I often find myself impatient with the pace of my progress. Waiting for my life to move forward can sometimes feel like I’m watching paint dry.

There are so many moments when we feel like our life is at a standstill. This is generally where I double down with my intensity. I hit it with everything I can. The crash comes soon after from the inevitable violent collision of my mind, body, and spirit as they’re pushed beyond their limits.

The idea of having …

When Things Have to Change: How to Find the Willpower to Achieve Your Goals

By

“When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius

Do you want to know my biggest fear?

I’ve just come out of the closet, my parents have rejected me, and I am terrified, really, really terrified, because I’m completely alone, and the pain is unbearable.

But it’s not just the rejection that terrifies me—it’s also what happens after that.

With no one to turn to, I find comfort at the bottom of a bag of chips.

Three months and thirty pounds later I’ve yet to leave the confines of my bedroom. …

How I’ve Dealt with the Shame and Embarrassment of a Failed Career

By

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown

The embarrassment you feel upon realizing you don’t actually have what it takes to make a success of yourself. The shame of knowing you spent years training to do one thing and then you bailed right at the finish line. The fear of what to tell people when they ask you what you’re up to.

Of course, you don’t tell anyone how you feel, as you’re too embarrassed to admit you even have these feelings, so you just bury …

Living Without a Grand Purpose: Why I Find Meaning in the Little Things

By

“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness, but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.” ~Unknown

I have always enjoyed helping others. Ever since I can remember, my empathic nature has led me to feel what others are feeling and to try and assist them to the best of my ability. Serving others has always been a point of pride for me.

I have built my entire life around the …

How We Can Overcome Our Obstacles When We Don’t Believe It’s Possible

By

“If we can see past perceived limitations, then the possibilities are endless.” ~Amy Purdy

Nature inspires me. There are hidden messages consistently on display. On my daily walks, I find myself interpreting these messages in relation to my life.

One day, near the end of my walk, I was paying attention to the trees. A giant one caught my eye. Its magnificence was portrayed as morning sunlight peeked through the branches and bright green leaves.

I noticed the enormity of its trunk, and then I saw the crooked fence.

The giant tree trunk had grown so big that it pushed …

Afraid to Say No Because You Might Miss Out on a Big Opportunity?

By

“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

Are you afraid of saying no in your professional life because you think you’ll miss out on a big opportunity? I’ve learned that a quick yes can sink a lot of ships. God only knows I’ve taken on too much at times because I feared I’d miss out on something life changing.

We view opportunities as golden nuggets that are few and far between, so we snatch them up before someone else does, even if they don’t really excite us. But many …

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Feel Like a Success Even If You Fail

By

“If you love yourself it doesn’t matter if other people don’t like you because you don’t need their approval to feel good about yourself.” ~Lori Deschene

In 2010, after a surge of post-ten-day-meditation-course inspiration, I publicly announced to the world that I was going to make a film about me winning the kayak world championships.

A very bad idea in retrospect. But at the time I felt invincible and inspired.

I had super high expectations of myself and of the film and thought it was all possible.

Coming out of a four-year competition retirement meant a rigorous six-hour-a-day training schedule, …

When the Pursuit of Happiness Makes You Unhappy: Why I Stopped Chasing My Dream

By

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

From as far back as I can remember, I was enchanted with music. One of my earliest memories is of circling a record player while listening to a 45 rpm of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson.” I made my public singing debut in the third grade, performing Kenny Rogers’ mega-hit “The Gambler.” I sang it a cappella at a school assembly, even though I technically didn’t know all the words.

At home, I devoured my …

How I Created Opportunities in a World Full of Obstacles

By

“I really want to, but I can’t because [add semi-valid reason here].”

That’s a template sentence to let yourself off the hook.

It’s not copyrighted, so feel free to use it any time you want to let go of your dreams and not feel bad about it.

Honestly, it hurts me every time I hear someone say it. I see it for what it is—an excuse.

Every single one of us has ambitions, hopes, dreams, and goals. We fantasize about them on our commutes to work and before we sleep. We talk about how we will one day achieve …

Why We Often Fail When We Set Big Goals and What Actually Works

By

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.” ~James Clear

If you pull up any popular motivational video today, you’ll probably hear things like “Set big goals!” and “Aim high and don’t stop until you get there!”

After watching a video like this, you may get inspired and start mapping out your plan to leave the 99% in the dust.

And typically, because you’re riding a wave of motivation, you’ll write out these monstrous, Mount-Everest-like goals. These goals paint a picture of your life that is so exciting that …

The Simple Path to Change When You’re Not Satisfied with Your Life

By

“Making a big life change is scary, but you know what’s even scarier? Regret.” ~Zig Ziglar

Fifteen years ago, I made one of the biggest changes in my life. It was something I had wanted to do for so long but had never found the right time, right plan, or courage to do.

You see, ever since I was in my teens, I had always felt I was meant to be somewhere else.

The town where I grew up was pretty perfect for raising young kids, but it just wasn’t for me as I entered adulthood. I always envisioned …

One Question for Anyone Who’s Stuck in a Rut: What Do You Believe?

By

“You become what you believe, not what you think or what you want.” ~Oprah Winfrey

What do you believe? During the forced stillness of the pandemic environment we’re all living in, this is a question I’ve been faced with more intensely than ever. In particular, I’ve come to question what I believe about myself, and how that impacts every element of my life.

Coming out of years of self-help for social and general anxiety, a long-standing eating disorder, and several dissatisfying personal relationships, I had to come to question what these external realities reflected back to me. For what …

How I Found My Place in the World When I Felt Beaten Down by Life

By

“Some people are going to reject you simply because you shine too bright for them. That’s okay. Keep shining.” ~Mandy Hale

After I finished school, I was excited about moving forward with life.

I thought about the career that I hoped to have, where I hoped to live, and the things that I wanted to accomplish.

After starting off as a secondary high school English teacher and becoming disappointed with the ongoing changes in the public school system, I went to graduate school for law. I thought it would open up a lot of possibilities, but it did not.

I …

How to Stop Procrastinating When Things Feel Hard or Scary

By

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

I dreamed of starting my own business for years. Ten years, exactly.

While there are a few reasons it took so long to take the plunge, procrastination is at the top of the list.

It’s hard work to change careers, uncomfortable to leave a steady paycheck, and nerve-wracking to think of failure.

Even after spending months and years learning, studying, and getting certified, when it was no longer a matter of having the skills, the uncertainty of success …

The Joy of Not Getting What We Want

By

“Remember that not getting what you want Is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

Let me tell you a story. I first read it in a book on Taoism, but I’ve seen it in at least a dozen other places since then, each with its own variation. Here’s the gist:

There’s this farmer. His favorite horse runs away. Everyone tells him that this is a terrible turn of events and that they are sorry for him. He says, “We’ll see.”

The horse comes back a few days later, and it brings an entire herd of wild horses with …

4 Reasons to Let Go of the Need to Plan Your Future

By

“No valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living in the now.” ~Alan Watts

I went to college a little bit later in life. Because of that, people often mistakenly believed I was operating on a specific (and somewhat urgent) timetable—as though I was running to catch up with the rest of the people my age.

However, I was already in a career I loved (teaching yoga) that supported me financially. For me, going back to school was mainly about enjoying the process of getting an education without any pressure to get …

Stop Striving, Start Stopping: How to Enjoy Life More

By

“Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.” ~Andy Rooney

Three months ago, I was blessed with an awesome opportunity—a free weekend break to Snowdonia, Wales.

Having experienced chronic health conditions for the past six years of my life, I had been hibernating.

My days were a black-and-white routine: wake up, drink a smoothie mix, go to work, meditate, come home, lie down, eat, sleep. Yet, my mind was always so busy filled with endless tasks, big dreams, and an expanding sense of pressure as I craved …

Sometimes Goals Look Like…

By