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Posts tagged with “goals”

Searching for Purpose? 5 Ways to Embrace Not Knowing What You Want

“Omnipotence is not knowing how everything is done; it’s just doing it.” ~Alan Watts

We sometimes hear of remarkable people who just knew what they wanted to become from a young age. I, however, was not one of them.

When I was about eight years old, I told my cousin that I wanted to become a scientist. Looking back, I find that pronouncement baffling since I wasn’t particularly interested in science at the time. What I did love doing, though, was making art.

My interest in art eventually led me to study graphic design. I thought that design would be …

How I Overcame My Psychic Addiction and Stopped Giving My Power Away

“If you’re looking for a sign from the universe, and you don’t see one, consider it a sign that what you really need is to look inside yourself.” ~Lori Deschene

I used to have no idea what I should do. About anything. I would go from friend to friend running polls:

Should I be a solo singer or in a group?

Is this guy the one?

Should I do this job or that job?

Should I stay in LA or move to Vancouver?

Should I get bangs?

On and on it went. It wasn’t that I wanted validation. It was

The Science of Happiness: 9 Feel-Good Tools to Boost Your Mood

“Remember, being happy doesn’t mean you have it all. It simply means you’re thankful for all you have.” ~Unknown

I remember sitting on the New York City subway, tears streaming down my face, armed with valium and lithium along with other antidepressants that my psych had just prescribed.

I was desperate, in that cave I had come to know as depression. Dark, hopeless, fearful depression. The cold metal seat of the subway made me feel raw and exposed. I couldn’t function. I couldn’t stop crying. I was panicked that I would be like this forever.

That was an example of …

How My Dad’s Advice to Let Someone Else Shine Created My Fear of Success

“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” ~Robert Tew

Everyone has fears. It is not an emotion that is only for a chosen few. One’s fear may seem irrational to the outside world, but I guarantee to that person it is debilitating. So much so, that it shapes their perspective and how they see the world. My fear is of success.

I know what you’re thinking. “That doesn’t make sense at all. Who doesn’t want to be successful?” Well, let me explain what I mean.

You see, I am an …

5 Ways to Be Productive with Chronic Illness: How I Built a Business from Bed

“The master leads by weakening their ambition and toughening their resolve.” ~Tao Te Ching

How much of productivity advice is ableist? Sure, there are lots of good ideas and concepts in there, but most of it is healthy-body-focused.

Advice like:

“Be sure to exercise in the morning.”

“Get up early before anyone else.”

“Keep a consistent morning routine of meditation, journaling.”

“Set aside fixed times in the day to do deep work.”

“Get dressed and do your hair even if you work from home.”

“Set goals and stick to them.”

“Work harder than anyone else around you.”

I have built …

Want to Change Your Life? Draw the “You” You Want to Be

“You are not too old and it is not too late.” ~Unknown

In less than a month, I’ll be hitting a major “milestone” birthday. I quit my full-time job six months ago, ending a twenty-plus year career in education, and have spent time thinking about what I want the next chapter of my life to look like. I found myself thinking back to a drawing exercise I did a few years ago that has made such an impact on my being willing to make major changes in my life.

Entering my mid-forties, I had come to a point where something …

My New Approach to Setting Goals and Why It Works Better for Me

“The journey is long, but the goal is in each step.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

I have a daughter, she is nine.

A few months ago, I started to feel like we weren’t as close as we used to. I felt like we weren’t spending enough time together, and honestly, when we were I almost didn’t know what to do with her. It felt like our emotional connection was falling apart, like we didn’t have enough topics to discuss or enough games to play.

Moreover, I was getting stressed and annoyed with her easily, and it definitely wasn’t helping. I …

How I Stopped Procrastinating and Started Creating the Life of My Dreams

“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.” ~Robert H. Schuller

Here’s a confession: I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was thirteen years old when I first discovered the magic of words.

Here’s another: It was only at the ripe old age of twenty-six that I could truthfully call myself a writer.

Why did it take me so long?

I often think about that. Even today, when people ask me about my writing, I struggle to say that I am a writer. I am both proud and horrified, and I constantly wonder, what will I …

No One Starts Off at Their Best – Why We Need to Keep Going Anyway

“Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.” ~Pablo Picasso

This article is about the day I realized Picasso wasn’t born Picasso.

If you’re already opening Google to find what his name was at birth, I’ll save you the typing and tell you here…

He was born Pablo Ruiz Picasso. (His baptized name is wayyyy longer, but you get the point.)

Okay, so he was always a Picasso.

But he wasn’t always the Picasso.

Let me explain by rewinding a few years back…

I was in Spain for one of …

How I Recognized My Fear of Failure and How I’m Mindfully Overcoming It

“The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source. Instead of trying to escape from our fear, we can invite it up to our awareness and look at it clearly and deeply.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My daughter began taking tumbling classes a week before her eighth birthday. She had been dancing since the age of three, and those classes included instructions for cartwheels and roundoffs. The harder stuff, like the back walkover, required tumbling or gymnastics classes, and she wanted the chance to be able to show …

Making Big Decisions: How to Discern the Whispers of Your Soul

“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.” ~Jiddu Krishnamurti

“I can’t believe they are taking her side over mine. I gave this job so many years, and she decides to walk in and mess it all up for me,” I said to my husband.

A few years back, when I was working full time at my corporate job, I got into a disagreement with a team member. It spiraled out of control to the point where my boss then had to have a sit-down with us. I was so humiliated and angry that he could not see my side.

They

Are You Sick of Waiting, Wanting, and Wishing for a Better Life?

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” ~Walter Elliott

I often find myself impatient with the pace of my progress. Waiting for my life to move forward can sometimes feel like I’m watching paint dry.

There are so many moments when we feel like our life is at a standstill. This is generally where I double down with my intensity. I hit it with everything I can. The crash comes soon after from the inevitable violent collision of my mind, body, and spirit as they’re pushed beyond their limits.

The idea of having …

When Things Have to Change: How to Find the Willpower to Achieve Your Goals

“When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius

Do you want to know my biggest fear?

I’ve just come out of the closet, my parents have rejected me, and I am terrified, really, really terrified, because I’m completely alone, and the pain is unbearable.

But it’s not just the rejection that terrifies me—it’s also what happens after that.

With no one to turn to, I find comfort at the bottom of a bag of chips.

Three months and thirty pounds later I’ve yet to leave the confines of my bedroom. …

How I’ve Dealt with the Shame and Embarrassment of a Failed Career

“If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.” ~Brené Brown

The embarrassment you feel upon realizing you don’t actually have what it takes to make a success of yourself. The shame of knowing you spent years training to do one thing and then you bailed right at the finish line. The fear of what to tell people when they ask you what you’re up to.

Of course, you don’t tell anyone how you feel, as you’re too embarrassed to admit you even have these feelings, so you just bury …

Living Without a Grand Purpose: Why I Find Meaning in the Little Things

“Ironically enough, when you make peace with the fact that the purpose of life is not happiness, but rather experience and growth, happiness comes as a natural byproduct. When you are not seeking it as the objective, it will find its way to you.” ~Unknown

I have always enjoyed helping others. Ever since I can remember, my empathic nature has led me to feel what others are feeling and to try and assist them to the best of my ability. Serving others has always been a point of pride for me.

I have built my entire life around the …

How We Can Overcome Our Obstacles When We Don’t Believe It’s Possible

“If we can see past perceived limitations, then the possibilities are endless.” ~Amy Purdy

Nature inspires me. There are hidden messages consistently on display. On my daily walks, I find myself interpreting these messages in relation to my life.

One day, near the end of my walk, I was paying attention to the trees. A giant one caught my eye. Its magnificence was portrayed as morning sunlight peeked through the branches and bright green leaves.

I noticed the enormity of its trunk, and then I saw the crooked fence.

The giant tree trunk had grown so big that it pushed …

Afraid to Say No Because You Might Miss Out on a Big Opportunity?

“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown

Are you afraid of saying no in your professional life because you think you’ll miss out on a big opportunity? I’ve learned that a quick yes can sink a lot of ships. God only knows I’ve taken on too much at times because I feared I’d miss out on something life changing.

We view opportunities as golden nuggets that are few and far between, so we snatch them up before someone else does, even if they don’t really excite us. But many …

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Feel Like a Success Even If You Fail

“If you love yourself it doesn’t matter if other people don’t like you because you don’t need their approval to feel good about yourself.” ~Lori Deschene

In 2010, after a surge of post-ten-day-meditation-course inspiration, I publicly announced to the world that I was going to make a film about me winning the kayak world championships.

A very bad idea in retrospect. But at the time I felt invincible and inspired.

I had super high expectations of myself and of the film and thought it was all possible.

Coming out of a four-year competition retirement meant a rigorous six-hour-a-day training schedule, …

When the Pursuit of Happiness Makes You Unhappy: Why I Stopped Chasing My Dream

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

From as far back as I can remember, I was enchanted with music. One of my earliest memories is of circling a record player while listening to a 45 rpm of Simon & Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson.” I made my public singing debut in the third grade, performing Kenny Rogers’ mega-hit “The Gambler.” I sang it a cappella at a school assembly, even though I technically didn’t know all the words.

At home, I devoured my …

How I Created Opportunities in a World Full of Obstacles

“I really want to, but I can’t because [add semi-valid reason here].”

That’s a template sentence to let yourself off the hook.

It’s not copyrighted, so feel free to use it any time you want to let go of your dreams and not feel bad about it.

Honestly, it hurts me every time I hear someone say it. I see it for what it is—an excuse.

Every single one of us has ambitions, hopes, dreams, and goals. We fantasize about them on our commutes to work and before we sleep. We talk about how we will one day achieve …