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Posts tagged with “Happiness”

Change Your Life: Be Honest with Yourself and Make Conscious Choices

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“If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.” ~Fay Weldon

During the last year I have made significant changes. I have changed my habits, values, thoughts, and perception of life. It has been an amazing journey and I have learned some valuable lessons that I want to share with you about happiness, motivation, and standing up for decisions you believe in.

I have always loved attention and I have always loved to party. In Denmark, it is not unusual that students drink two to three times a week, and I used to do that, as well.

Last year I …

Make Peace with Your Past: Find the Good and Embrace the Lessons

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“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins

Daughter of an alcoholic. Welfare recipient. Teenage mother. Non-college attendee. Poor decision maker. Unhealthy relationship participant. Financial disaster. Evictee.

All of these statements described me. They also propelled me into action, transforming me into an over-achieving perfectionist. Yet they still weighed me down because I felt like I had to constantly prove I was better than my past—better than the circumstances from which I came.

It took a lot of effort.

It took a lot of energy.

It was …

Why Screwing Things Up Is Crucial to Your Well-Being

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“Where there is perfection there is no story to tell.” ~Ben Okri

Somehow I’d gathered my courage and volunteered from the audience during a local improvisational theater show. And before I knew it, I was up on stage with the troupe, being welcomed, supported, and seamlessly gathered into the scene in a way that only professional improvisers can do.

I left the stage high as a kite from the adrenaline rush, returning to my seat and enthusing to my friend that I wanted to start taking improv classes right away!

What I didn’t realize until I was several weeks …

When You’re at the End of Your Rope: 7 Tips to Help Yourself

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual assault and may be triggering to some people.

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagan

During my first year away at college, I struggled with depression and anxiety. I felt broken, hopeless, and lost, and I didn’t know how to cope.

At times, I thought about jumping out of my fourth floor dorm room window.

Thankfully, I didn’t.

It all began on the day I moved into my dorm in August of 2008. My parents took me …

How to Really Embrace Yourself (Even in the Face of Criticism)

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“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Unknown

Sitting at a party minding my own business, I wasn’t expecting it. I had no reason to. A comment filled with sarcasm and authority shot out at me from a across the room.

“Shut up Kathryn.”

It hit me like a bullet aimed straight at my heart.

I wasn’t even aware I was being particularly quiet. I was simply being me. Taking in my surroundings, quietly observing, listening to the conversations that encircled me.

But someone had noticed …

A Small Act of Kindness Can Make a Big Difference

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“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

I had an old trench coat that was balled up on the floor of my garage, gathering dust near the washing machine. It was raining. It was unusually cold (for California, anyway).

I was driving home when I saw a man in a short sleeved shirt wandering through our neighborhood, pushing a shopping cart. He was walking painfully slow. He was dripping wet.

I paused at the intersection to my street and watched him for several minutes, thinking. My heart was …

25 Ways to Make a Difference in the World Every Day

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“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” ~Socrates

When I started Tiny Buddha, my main goal was to make a positive difference. I think that’s a goal many of us share.

I’ve stumbled upon countless blog and books written by people who say their purpose in life is to help people.

I suspect it’s how most of us infuse our lives with meaning: trying to somehow leave the world a better place than we found it.

I recently read a somewhat old blog post by ex-Microsoft employee Scott Berkun that …

5 Reasons to Use Your Gifts and Do What You Love

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“Man is only truly great when he acts from his passions.”  ~Benjamin Disraeli

Like many of us, I had a difficult childhood. My parents’ relationship was unhappy and unhealthy, and their misery left me feeling alone, afraid, and anxious most of the time.

My environment was so unpredictable that I often withdrew from family and friends, losing myself in the comfort of my own creativity.

I fell in deep and indescribable love with music at a very young age. The radio became my confidant, my protector, my therapist, my escape. I would sing and preen and pose like a rock …

Realizing You’re Enough Instead of Trying to Fix Yourself

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“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey

Seven years ago I discovered a world of healing, energy, and spirituality. It came at a particularly hard time in my life. Everything that could go wrong seemed to have.

First, I picked up a bug while travelling, which left me unable to hold down food for over eight weeks, and doctors told me there was nothing more they could do.

Then, there were secondary infections, which I learned I might have to live with for life.

I was being bullied at work and …

How to Heal From Rejection: 5 Steps to Soothe the Pain

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“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

I spent years training as a psychologist, waiting for the day I would graduate and finally have time to explore my second passion—writing.

When I opened a private practice I left my mornings free, and over the next fourteen years I wrote six screenplays, two novels, and a children’s book. But mostly I wrote letters, thousands of them, to agents, editors, and producers, asking them to read my work.

They rejected every manuscript I sent them.

After fourteen years of rejection, my mood, my confidence, my motivation, and …

Let Yourself Be Instead of Pushing to Get Things Done

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“When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Sometimes you just need to relax, breathe, let go and live in the moment.” ~Unknown

Recently I went to an annual fall retreat for my graduate program. This was exactly what my heart was longing for up until this point. I felt overworked by school and overwhelmed by the busyness of the city and suburban life. I needed something different, something that would help me feel more grounded and at ease.

We went out to Middle-of-no-where-on-top-a-mountain, California, where the only sign of civilization was the four-way highway down below. I’m originally …

Mystical Moments: 10 Ways to Feel More Engaged and Alive

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“Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Whenever you enter into it take with you your all.” ~Kahlil Gibran

I had to learn the hard way that you don’t have to walk across hot coals or move to the desert and eat locusts and honey in order to have a mystical, life-changing experience.

As a young man I was anxious and driven, always looking ahead to another goal, always hoping to find some ultimate experience. I believed that life was a challenge that needed to be constantly tackled. Often, this meant feeling overworked and pulled-apart, and I failed …

Release the Fear of Not Measuring Up and Share Your Light

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“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

I believe that it is part of the human condition to want love and connection with others. For some of us this comes much more naturally and abundantly than it does for others.

The universal thing we all share is that at some point along our life journey, there will come a time when our self-worth is on the table for questioning.

I can clearly recall the first time my self-confidence was rocked. I was seven years old and full of energy, life, …

When Trying to Be Positive Brings You Down

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“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

How many of us have caught ourselves feeling as though we’re imposters when we’re trying to talk about a difficult situation in a positive light? We’re often fed the idea that how we feel is in how we decide to see life, which, I agree with; however, sometimes I think that idea gets taken to a deceptive extreme.

In the midst of one of my mini-meltdowns the other day, I called my friend and told her what had been going on in my head the last few months.

“It’s sounds as …

Letting Go, Trusting, and Allowing Yourself to Be Happy and Free

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“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

First, let’s be clear about something…

Surrender is not about giving up, handing power over, or failing. It is not waving the white flag of defeat.

We are so used to striving and trying so hard for an outcome that anything outside of that formula seems like self-sabotage.

It isn’t. In fact, surrender is the pinnacle of evolved and enlightened behavior.

Surrender is the beautiful soft space of acceptance. It is an allowing—allowing life to unfold and to be what it is, irrespective of …

How Do You Motivate Yourself: With Love or Fear?

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“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~ Jack Kornfield

My whole life has been a story of discipline. I started exercising and eating healthier in eighth grade. I planned out my studies meticulously so I would finish school assignments exactly on time. I always arrived five minutes early for any appointment or meeting. Disciplined.

When I began my yoga studies in earnest at the age of twenty-two, I applied the same disciplined nature to my yoga practice. I had extensive practice plans and had scheduled …

5 Tips to Help You Take Action to Overcome Your Fear

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“Thinking will not overcome fear, but action will.” ~W. Clement Stone

I made it all the way to my thirtieth birthday without learning how to drive. After I turned twenty-one, people often asked me why I hadn’t learned yet. My go-to story was that I lived in a place with abundant public transportation options and never had any intention of buying a car.

The truth is that I wanted to learn, but I was terrified, and the fear grew with each year.

What if I got in an accident? What if people laughed at me for learning so late or …

3 Things to Do When a Friendship Starts to Fade

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“When we can no longer change a situation, we must change ourselves.” ~Victor Frankl

There are a million reasons why a friendship may change over time. You grow older, relocate for a job, have a fight, or start having kids.

It is an inevitable fact that life takes people in new directions; growing apart from old friends becomes a part of our lives. But, somehow I thought that I was immune, that this was someone else’s story.

My friends would be there with me forever.

We celebrated every single New Year’s together. We survived college, breakups—you name it.  Our bond …

Keep Moving Toward Success, One Failure at a Time

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“If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through.” ~Chinese Proverb

I remember clearly the day in March 2003 when I would receive the kind of news that no aspiring musician wants to hear.

“Sorry, but you aren’t currently at the level needed to enter our school.”

Five years of blood, sweat, and tears for what? To be told that I sucked? I sat there, lost in my own thoughts. Was I having a bad day? Was I simply not as good as my ego led me to believe?

There I was, …

20 Ways Sitting in Silence Can Completely Transform Your Life

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“Silence is a source of great strength.” ~Lao Tzu

For over two years I spent one out of every four weeks in silence. At the time I was living at a Zen Monastery and every month we would have a week-long silent retreat.

During this retreat we sat meditation in silence, ate in silence, worked in silence, and only communicated through hand gestures and written notes.

At first living like this was hard, but over time I learned to grow to appreciate silence. By the time I left I learned that silence was my friend and teacher.

What did silence …