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Posts tagged with “Happiness”

3 Unconventional Tips for Forgiving and Letting Go

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“The greatest obstacle to connecting with our joy is resentment.” ~Pema Chodron

Forgiveness is good, right? I don’t mean in a heal the planet kind of way—I mean in a selfish, me me me kind of way.

We want to let go of our resentments and connect with people genuinely. We want to feel happy and contented, full of love for ourselves and those around us. We want to run, carefree, through the fields in a pretty cotton dress, not sit around in our pajamas, twisted with bitterness.

But how do you experience genuine forgiveness and stop feeling resentful? Because …

Embodied Presence: Find Freedom from Your Thoughts and Emotions

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“To be alive is to totally and openly participate in the simplicity and elegance of here and now.” ~Donald Altman

Embodied presence probably sounds superfluous. How else would we be present but in the body? If we leave our bodies, then we are by definition deceased. No longer present.

The simplicity of this embodied presence idea belies its depth though. The issue isn’t that I’m ever literally disembodied, but that I’m often unaware of my body-mind connection to the point that I’m not sufficiently mindful of the moment.

I know I’m not unique for this. We all do this. …

Believing in Our Goodness: Do You Have Faith in Humanity?

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“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

When we hear someone speak about faith, we usually expect to hear about some kind of subjective encounter with supernatural forces. In our skeptical age, we tend to look at faith as “believing in something you know not to be true,” as Mark Twain expressed.

Before we dismiss any talk of faith, however, we should remember that there are many ways to understand the word. You can have faith in a benevolent, loving deity guiding your every move. But you can also …

Slow Down: Join the Stillness Revolution for More Peace and Joy

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“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I recently treated myself to a retreat in the mountains, with the intention of pulling out of the busyness of every day life so that I could spend time healing and in reflective writing.

Setting off, I anticipated an easy drive as traffic looked light, but when I reached the mountain pass, I experienced something I had never experienced before:

I was completely blind to my surroundings.

In fact, I realized I had driven into the clouds themselves, engulfed by a pure white energy.

Not fog. Not mist. Just

…

A 4-Step Plan to Deal with Even the Toughest Challenge

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“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” ~Wayne Dyer

Everything in life is perception. How you perceive life depends on the things and people that have influenced you: school, society, friends, family, TV. So, you may think something is bad or good, but in reality it is neither. You were taught to perceive it the way you do.

One person might see money as the root of all evil, while another might see it as something wonderful that can be used to help others and create opportunities. Two different perceptions of …

Silencing Your Lizard Brain: Stop Feeling Pressured and Inadequate

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“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

Damn lizard brain, I hate you sometimes. Why do you always have this thirst for more? Why must you have such impossibly high expectations for everything?

It’s good to have standards, but when is it too much?

Things can be going great for me and I could have the entire world love me, yet it wouldn’t be enough.

I still wouldn’t be happy even every human on Earth left me a voicemail to tell me I’m wonderful. Instead, I’d be wondering how everyone got my number.

Why is it never enough? …

Love Yourself for What You Are Now Without Conditions

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“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Do I really love them, or am I simply afraid to be without them? Is my love an expression of freedom, or is it merely a mask that hides my insecurities? These are questions that haunted my awareness. What is love, if I am afraid to lose it?

It seemed that I was running in circles trying to catch something that was never there.

I felt as if my love was not love, but rather just a fear that saw myself as unlovable; …

When Love Is Not Enough: 4 Tips for a Strong Relationship

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“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.” ~JnK Davis

My husband and I were going through a difficult time a few years ago. It felt like a pivotal time in our relationship. People say that marriage isn’t easy and you have your ups and downs. Well, we were definitely experiencing a low point.

We had been together for several years; we had been high school sweethearts and were each other’s best friends.

During this time we had several issues going on in our life, one of which was my …

When Everything Goes Wrong: Getting Through One of Those Days

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“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Sometimes you just have one of those days, where things happen to you over and over again, as if someone up above is testing to see if you really want to have a good day. Unfortunately, 95% of us give in and decide that it’s just going to be one of those days.

What if one of those days really meant the happiest day of your life, despite the fact unfortunate events temporarily plague your existence?

A …

Making Difficult Choices: 6 Helpful Tips

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“You are your choices” ~Seneca

It was supposed to be the most beautiful day of my life. And on the surface of it, it most definitely was:

Delicious food? Check. Glorious sunshine? Check. Excited guests? Check. Radiantly happy couple? Umm…rain check?

I hadn’t chosen him. He had been chosen for me. I had agreed to the marriage without a doubt, but as I stared down at my henna-painted hands adorned with gold of the 24-carat nature, I felt poor. I felt cheated. I felt like the victim of my own decisions.

The heavy fog of doubt started to cloud over …

Forgiving People Who Show No Remorse: Have You Suffered Enough?

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“That which I do not forgive in you, lies unforgiven within myself.” ~Buddhist Proverb

When I decided to forgive the driver that killed my nine-year-old son, I struggled to believe I could or should.

In the beginning of my grief I had so much anger toward her, and because she was not showing remorse, I wanted to find ways to punish her so that she would be in the same pain that I was.

She did not come forward to say she was sorry or try to meet up with me after the accident, and this was hard for …

Dance Through the Storm of Uncertainty: 5 Tips for Grace and Peace

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“Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” ~Epictetus

I am in an unfamiliar place and I find myself waiting. It is not clear who or what I am waiting for.  I then hear a gentle tapping at the door. I approach the door, but stand before it in silence.

My pulse quickens as I wait. I make no attempt to answer the knock until a voice whispers, “It is me.”  This is when I open the door. 

I awoke from this dream feeling a bit unsettled. I couldn’t remember the …

Why It’s Okay to Live a “Boring” Life If That’s What You Want

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

Some people know from the time they are small what they are going to be “when they grow up.”

I, at various times, was going to be an archeologist, paleontologist, veterinarian, famous rock musician, famous film director, actor, studio guitar player, music production engineer, choir teacher, choral composer, less famous film director, film editor, screenwriter, alpaca farmer, or cattle farmer.

As of this writing, I make wedding films and assist my wife with wedding photography. There is no fame, enough money, but no riches …

Making Changes When the People Around You Resist Your Plan

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“The greatest step toward a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” ~Steve Maraboli

So I took the plunge. I stated out loud that I wanted to simplify my life.

I wanted to have a life where what I did for a living and how I lived were more in balance with the person I am and aspired to be. The waterfall effect of that verbal declaration catapulted my life into a stratosphere of change that I am still learning to just “go with.”

Three weeks after that declaration, I got “downsized” at work. Okay, I thought, the …

8 Ways to Discover Your Passion and Live a Life You Love

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“Don’t worry about what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

I didn’t spend two years and $100,000 for a master’s degree in counseling from an Ivy League university so that I could be miserable and hate my life fifty hours a week, but that’s what happened.

After a few years in the trenches of the non-profit world, my job had become so emotionally draining that it was taking a vicious toll on my health and causing gripping anxiety attacks. I …

Why We Need to Accept That Some People Just Won’t Like Us

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“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ~Maya Angelou

I’ve been a world-class worrier about what other people would think about me for a long time.

The clothes, the hair, the shoes. The books I read, the movies I liked, the music I listened to. The hobbies, the people I hung out with. The things I liked and the things I disliked.

They all got scrutinized under the “am I doing the right thing?” filter.

Am I being exactly the right amount of cool? Am I being reasonable and responsible? …

Overcoming the Fear of Taking a Risk: Just Do It

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“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabelle Allende

About eight months ago I hitched a ride to Buenos Aires, Argentina via a one way ticket with the love of my life. It wasn’t as easy as it sounds. I wasn’t throwing things in my suitcase and cashing out my bank account while kissing friends and family goodbye, sayin’ “See ya!”

My boyfriend and I were recent graduates at wits end suffering economic woes with no place to go. We had always wanted to go abroad to teach English, but weren’t …

When Your Inner Critic Stifles Your Creativity: 4 Helpful Truths

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“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

We live in an artistically enriched country. The world is already full of all kinds of music, so much art, and so many books. With the Internet, you can experience art’s many forms at the click of a mouse.

In my heart, I am an artist. Ever since I was a young girl, I have loved creating artwork. Writing stories, drawing illustrations, playing the piano, painting, sculpting…

The unfortunate thing is that I am paralyzed—not in the …

A Powerful Lesson in Self-Compassion: Are You Allergic to Honey?

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“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

When things don’t go as planned, is your go-to explanation that it’s because you did something wrong, or because there’s something wrong with you? For many people, self-compassion is a real challenge.

Most of us want to be kinder to ourselves, but our self-critical, perfectionistic patterns are often well-established, and it’s hard to know how to interrupt them.

When I was in graduate school, I was driving home from school one evening when I noticed that my car was overheating. …

Find the Courage to Be You: 4 Ways To Live Authentically

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“Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Authenticity is a buzzword these days. We hear all kinds of advice on how to live it, breathe it, and get more of it. Maybe this is because we are actually drowning in inauthenticity.

Advertising bombards us with promises of bigger, better, faster, and easier. But the dream life of effortless comfort and problems that fix themselves is just a fantasy, a running away from the truth of life:

Everything is impermanent.

Right now, at this moment, this life is all we have.

More and more people …