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Posts tagged with “happy”

4 Crucial Steps to Make Your Dream Come True

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“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

A little over forty-eight hours from now, I’ll be on a plane to Europe where I plan to spend three months traveling (and working) with my boyfriend.

Saturday is the first day of a dream I’ve held for well over a decade.

It was my second year in college when I did my semester abroad, staying in a castle my school owns in The Netherlands.

I was one of less than seventy students there, part of an intimate group that traveled together on three weekend trips to Paris, …

Embracing Pain: Life’s Gifts Often Come Wrapped in Sandpaper

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“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

“How did you get so wise?” My friend’s voice on the other end of the telephone line was genuinely curious.

I took a moment to think, wanting to be just as sincere in my response as she was in her inquiry. I felt the words climb up from the depths of my heart and ride a breath of truth as they passed through my lips.

“I cry a lot,” I finally responded.

Believe me, I wish there was another way. On my personal journey—and there are …

3 Ways to Feel Good When Things Seem Bad

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“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

Have you ever had something happen in your life that completely changed everything?

Wham. Suddenly you haven’t left your bedroom in days, you can’t remember what it feels like to shower, and it’s clear the only friend you can really count on is your cat. 

And whether it’s a major life-suck event or a minor one, the question is: How can I feel contented and calm when things don’t go to plan?

That is what this post is …

Motivate Yourself Without Pushing Yourself: Tips for Self-Compassion

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“Our sorrows and wounds are only healed when we touch them with compassion.” ~Buddha

I have always struggled with self-compassion. In fact, I’m not even sure I have been aware of it all that much throughout my life.

I’ve always thought the only way to truly grow was to push myself, both physically and mentally, so without even realizing it, I set myself up for that.

I would not study for my university exams until the night before. I would take it easy and not make enough money until it got to the stage that I had to almost …

Start Believing in Yourself: How To Adopt A Language of Love

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“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown

We are powerful, vivacious, brilliant creatures. Our thoughts and ideas create the very world around us. We constantly, and often unconsciously, exude and radiate palpable energy that permeates through every crack and crevasse of our lives.

Our words hold especially powerful energy and the ability to uplift and inspire others and ourselves, or send us spiraling down the ladder to Bummersville. Learning to recognize our inner Negative Nancy allows us to pump up the volume on our love lingo to bring us back to a place of …

Taking Back Our Dreams: Releasing the Drive for Wealth and Status

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“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.” ~Harry Kemp

We’ve all been there. You’re having a great time playing a game with your friends, and then all of a sudden, things start to get tense.

What started out as fun turns into a fierce competition, as everyone is desperately trying to collect gold coins, red flags, or whatever happens to be the game’s currency.

To an outsider, it would be clear that we are all playing a game. Just like the kid with the tallest stack of red coins, …

4 Conscious Choices to Stay Balanced and Happy When You’re Busy

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“Happiness is not a matter of intensity, but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton

I’m not someone who enjoys busyness or sees it as a sign of importance. In fact, I’ve often sacrificed money and opportunities to have more time to watch movies, roam around my neighborhood, and generally live life at a slow pace.

This is the way I most enjoy experiencing my days—by creating space to just be. And I find this supports my passion as a writer, since it allows me abundant opportunities to play, explore, and expand my understanding of the world and …

Reconnect with Your Authentic Self Instead of Denying Your Feelings

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“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~Lao Tzu

I recently took seven weeks off of work and rented a place in Laguna Beach.

The trip was meant to be a relaxing vacation and possibly a change of residence; it turned out to be a wakeup call.

I started the trip out by going on my first date since 2010. The pollen count was high, and my sinuses were none too happy. I’m still not sure if it was being on a date or the medication that triggered so much anxiety…

5 Ways Meditation Can Improve Your Life and Make You Happier

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“If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” ~Lao Tzu

For most of my life I had the overwhelming feeling that I was lacking something. I felt like I was not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.

I was nothing but an unattractive, chubby girl of little worth. In my late twenties I formed a huge crush that changed my life, for the worse, or so I thought. Against my will, I developed an unbelievable attraction to women. I was horrified!

Being gay was the cherry on top of my pile of …

Letting Go of Your Past Suffering to Feel Peaceful and Free

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“Letting go give us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I stood alone in what had been my childhood bedroom, staring at the dresser with a familiar discomfort. My fingers clutched at the handle of the second drawer from the top and pulled hard, straining from the weight of its contents.

I reached in with both hands, the drawer with its quarter inch plywood base teetering dangerously on the edge of the frame, and lifted them out, one by one.

Unicorns, fairies, rainbows, mystical maidens, all disappeared as I placed the journals into the …

The Zen of Anger: 5 Tips to Overcome Negative Reactions

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“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~Anthony Robins

I used to be an angry person. And I was happy about that. In fact, I prided myself on that identity during high school.

So devoted to the young and vapid demographic, I would stand in front of the bathroom mirror and practice the eighties version of the mad dog stare. In the eleventh grade, I decided smiling wasn’t hip, so I stopped.

I wore surly like the Goth kids take to all-black attire. My friends thought I was cool because I said what I felt and …

Make Sure You’ll Smile When You Look Back on Your Life

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“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” ~Carl Rogers

I had just gotten settled into my hospital bed after two hours of preparation. I had 32 electrodes taped to my bandage-wrapped skull, plugged into a machine that monitored my brainwaves, with just enough room to go from the bed to the bathroom.

After two ambulance rides and multiple seizures, I needed to find out what was going on with my brain.

The full diagnosis of my disease was still unknown then. The doctors told me it could be serious …

10 Ways to Deal with Negative or Difficult People

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“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~Shirley MacLaine

I love her to death, but it’s draining to talk to her.

Every time I call this friend of mine, I know what I’m in for: a half-hour rant about everything that’s difficult, miserable, or unfair.

Sometimes she focuses on the people she feels have wronged her, and other times she explores the general hopelessness of life. She never calls to see how I’m doing, and she rarely listens to what’s going on in my life for more than a minute before shifting the focus back to herself.

I …

Stop Running from Your Life and Start Living It

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“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~Buddha

I spent most of my life running. I ran from people, commitments, physical locations, and most of all, myself. And if I wasn’t running, I was definitely thinking about it.

I always had great excuses. I wasn’t happy, didn’t fit in, wasn’t comfortable—the excuses were never ending. I was rarely content. So in late 2010, I decided that the best solution was to sell everything, uproot, …

Don’t Let Anyone’s Criticism or Judgment Define Who You Are

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“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

I was a chunky, shy little girl who was attached to my mom’s leg. She was my protector and served as a source of unconditional love.

As I left my mom’s side and went off to school, I encountered many new faces that introduced me to criticism and judgment.

Being judged by your physical attributes as an adult, in a society that constantly strives for physical perfection, is hard enough, but understanding those judgments as a little girl can be …

4 Ways to Use Journaling to Calm Your Inner Critic

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“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s a voice we’re all familiar with, and one that we all find challenging. Yes, the inner critic is the part of our internal dialogue that can make or break our day.

At its best, our inner critic helps us live in a way that’s true to our values, questioning decisions that we might regret later and keeping us on the straight and narrow. At it’s worst, however, an inner critic rampage can bring down our mood, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth.

Much of my own self-work has …

The Story So Far: Your Life Is How You Interpret It

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“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ~Carl Bard

My life has been a long string of failures.

The earliest I can remember is having my teeth knocked out when my grandpa braked too hard at a stoplight on our way to a church Easter pageant. I was supposed to be singing a solo, the part of the “little gray lamb,” and I did it—performing while clutching a bloodstained washcloth wrapped around ice cubes to hold to my front gums in between verses.

Dumb …

5 Steps to Make Change Work for You

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts

Life is a free-flowing, ever changing river. Riding the rapids is frightening, and the temptation to avoid it is alluring. However, the adventure it promises is equally attractive.

We are naturally primed to adapt. Yet, the possibility of having to give up what is familiar is daunting. It can leave one paralyzed, disoriented, and unable to move forward.

In my childhood, my family kept moving across cities and often within the same city. By the time I …

Finding What We’re Missing: Our Lives Are Already Complete

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“Each day is a journey, and the journey itself is home.” ~Basho

What does family mean? Is it the people whose genes you share? Is it the people that you grew up with? Is it the people who love you unconditionally in spite of your faults and flaws?

Family for me has been an evolving idea. I was adopted from Seoul, Korea when I was four months old. After a few months in an orphanage, family started off simply as the people I grew up with.

Raised in South Central Pennsylvania with a Caucasian family in an area …

How Taking Quiet Time for Yourself Helps People Around You

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“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of of Shiraz

“What I wouldn’t give for a few moments of silence.”

“I really should start meditating.”

“I know it’s important to take breaks, but I just don’t have time.”

We’ve all heard (or made) comments like these at some point. Implicit in these statements is the idea that resting in stillness is beneficial…for the individual.

But what if such a practice of peace is more than that? What if it’s beneficial for others in your family, your …