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Posts tagged with “happy”

A Simple 5-Minute Habit That Can Make You Happier

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“Gratitude creates joy—not vice versa.” ~Dr. Brené Brown

To be blunt, my summer of 2013 sucked. In a matter of months, a tidal wave of stressful events happened and it completely shattered my sense of safety. I was on the verge of a serious depression.

The summer began with a broken heart. The love of my life, the man I planned to marry, broke up with me and admitted he had wanted to leave for the past year.

In a matter of minutes, my dreams of starting a family and living happily ever after were crushed. It caught me so …

3 Things You Can Start Doing Today to Improve Your Life

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“The grass is always greener where you water it.” ~Unknown

Have you noticed that when we’re unhappy we often spend our time focusing on those very things that are making us unhappy?

My life has had its ups and downs, like anyone, but one of the lowest lows was back when I had a graduate job at a big four accounting firm.

I was completely stuck in a rut: I’d drag myself out of bed in the morning, commute to work, spend the day in an office full of people I didn’t like, doing work I found mind-numbingly boring …

Giving the Benefit of the Doubt to Rude or Annoying People

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“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.” ~Henry James

Some lessons you learn once, and they last a lifetime.

I loved to bake as a child, and one day I put a bowl of batter in the microwave with the metal whisk I was using to stir it. A minute later, I pulled the bowl out of the microwave and grabbed the hot metal whisk with my bare hand.

When I think about it, I can still feel the burn from …

8 Secrets To Developing Confidence (So Self-Doubt Never Sabotages You Again)

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“What you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you.” ~Seneca

I can still remember it like it happened yesterday.

There I was. Ten years old. It was my first day back at school.

I walked past the enormous church that marked the entrance of the school compound. I passed under this huge tree as it towered over me. I was in a crowd of other screaming school kids. They laughed and cackled loudly.

Me?

I just felt overwhelmed.

See, I was always an anxious kid. Scared. Worried that I hadn’t done my homework properly. …

Letting Go of Guilt About What You “Should” Be Doing

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“Beware the bareness of a busy life.” ~Socrates

It was December 26th. The day after Christmas. Ten days after my daughter’s first birthday. I was sitting on the floor coiling Christmas lights when I began to try to stand up. Almost immediately, I sunk back down to the floor.

I was tired. I was physically tired. I was emotionally tired. Even my soul felt tired.

In that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder, how did I get here? Sitting on the family room floor after two beautiful family events—my daughter’s birthday and Christmas—and my bones, heart, and soul …

5 Childhood Mantras That Are Poisoning Your Happiness

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“So, like a forgotten fire, a childhood can always flare up again within us.” ~Gaston Bachelard

I woke up to the sun peeking through the bedroom curtains and I cautiously opened one eye to check if my little brother was still asleep on the other side of our room.

I was excited about the day. The sun was shining and we were meeting up with some family friends for a picnic in the park later that day. All I cared about was we would be having lots of treats at that picnic and the park we were going to had …

When Waiting Gives You Anxiety: How to Find Peace in the Present

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“The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.” ~Dan Millman

Nothing gives me anxiety quite like waiting for things to happen. If I don’t know how long I will be in line, stuck on a delayed NYC subway, or behind someone at the grocery store who is paying in pennies, I get very anxious. Or at least I used to.

Going to the doctor’s office was the worst. I know that no one likes …

From Conflict to Compassion: Put Love Above Winning

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“Let go of your attachment to being right and suddenly your mind is more open.” ~Ralph Marston

When we face a conflict we face an opportunity to learn from pain. It’s like putting your hand against a hot burner on the stove. The burn warns that you have to do something differently.

You pull your hand back reflexively and you don’t touch the stove again. You’ve learned. As with the hot stove, if we get the lesson that is in front of us, we don’t need to keep repeating that particular pain.

Inconveniently, our natural inclination when we feel the …

Every Imperfect Person Has Something to Teach Us

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“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie

I have always been of the opinion that the people around us are our teachers.

Specifically, I have always seen what I perceive to be negative traits in others as opportunities to develop patience or kindness toward them. I see it as a struggle they are going through, and if I can be patient or kind, then that helps them. It also teaches me how to embody those qualities even when I don’t feel like it.

If a colleague, friend, or …

Do You Think You Need to Be Perfect to Be Accepted?

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“What you resist, persists.” ~C.G. Jung

There it is: Perfection, Eureka!—the holy grail of achievement, like an elusive mirage in the middle of a desert or that pesky little pot of gold we are always hunting for at the end of the rainbow, purring with all of its possibilities, protection, and promise.

Yet, despite its charm and the value we tend to assign to the trait, as well as on those who possess it, perfectionism ultimately leads to the same destination. In striving for perfection, we may soon find ourselves disappointed, dissatisfied, and even sometimes, knee-deep in suffering and denial, …

When YOU Disappear Your Masterpiece Appears

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“Happiness is absorption.” ~T.E. Lawrence

During my years in university, there was a cook that I remember to this day. He worked in the university grill. He was well known amongst the students and staff. For his happiness.

Whether it was 6AM or 6PM, whether it was weekday or weekend, sunshine or hail, he greeted everyone with a boisterous “Good morning. How are you this morning?”

There might have been forty people in the breakfast line and he would greet every single one the same way. Many, including myself, would often wonder how it was that a man could be …

How to Realize Your Dream When You’ve Gotten Off Track

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“Come, even if you have broken your vow one thousand times, come, yet again, come, come.” ~Rumi

I read these words on a plaque in the middle of climbing a small mountain, in the middle of northern Spain, in the middle of a hot summer, at the end of my thirty-third year.

My eyes filled with tears and even as I brushed them away, adjusted my pack, and continued climbing up the mountain, the words echoed in my mind

I was walking the Camino de Santiago, a 500-mile pilgrimage route that runs across the north of Spain. I’d started my …

Stop Striving for Happiness and Start Practicing It Now

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“Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.” ~Chuang Tzu

It all started when one of my boys asked me if I was happy, and of course I answered yes.

Why wouldn’t I be happy? I have a handsome and kind husband, two boys of which I am very proud, I had a successful business, I had a house I loved, I was surrounded by friends, I was a sought after speaker in my community, and blah blah blah.

Then my son asked why I didn’t have fun anymore. I began defending my happiness to him, explaining all the reasons …

How to Get Lasting Results: The 4 Laws of Permanent Change

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“Sometimes, it’s the smallest decisions that change your life forever.” ~Keri Russell

Seven years ago I was that athletic, hyperactive person you could look at and admire.

I was madly in love with cardio, and I could easily work out twice a day, six days a week, without a single complaint, not to mention jogging at 6:00AM five days each week.

In college I went through lots of rough times, especially in my senior year. I was always stressed, I procrastinated a lot, and I couldn’t care less about working out, until one day I woke up and realized that …

Things Change When You Do (and Small Changes Add Up)

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“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~Victor Hugo

A year-and-a-half ago, I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Every day, I felt like I was travelling through an endless tunnel. The only way I could fall asleep was by pretending that I was dying.

My life felt pointless. I felt like I was on the wrong path. The combination of my two mental illnesses made me feel like I was a prisoner in my own body, like I could not control my brain.

Since this point in time, a lot …

4 Things to Keep You Going When You’re Stressed at Work

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“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~Charles Swindoll

I remember working at a job where I absolutely could not do anything right.

This was one of those jobs where it was extremely fast paced and you received 100 tons of work that must be completed by an unrealistic deadline. And here’s the kicker: your time at work was spent in meetings, all day. I’m talking about four to seven hours of your day. You get the picture.

So you may ask when I had time to do the work. Unfortunately, after …

Fear Is Inevitable but It Doesn’t Have to Paralyze Us

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“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende

I woke up with a knot at the pit of my stomach, yet again. For as long as I could remember, I carried this intangible lump inside me. It went with me everywhere.

I am fairly certain it woke up with me, and there was a small span of time when I was in the deepest of sleep when it took a break.

Terrified—that’s how I felt all the time. Muscles taut and butterflies in my stomach. I was a wreck, ready …

A Reason to Forgive Your Parents (And How to Soften Your Anger)

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“If you cannot forgive and forget, pick one.” ~Robert Brault

I used to hate my parents.

I despised them. I blamed them for most of my issues.

I couldn’t do what I wanted to do in life because they would disapprove of it. I couldn’t be a cop or firefighter because those professions didn’t make enough money. I could only study a major that would be beneficial in getting me a job and not one that they thought was pointless, such as psychology or sociology.

I hated my dad for never being there when I was a child. I hated …

6 Mindful Ways to Calm Your Mind and Heal Your Heart

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“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” –Marianne Williamson

As the last moments of my thirties are fading away, I’m preparing for the dawn of a new age, the age at which life is said to begin.

I’m like a butterfly preparing to break free from her chrysalis into the light, ready to spread her wings and feel what it is to be free—a freedom that has been born from six long months of deep introspection.

The catalyst for this journey of introspection was the breaking of my …

Life is a Gift: How to Enjoy It and Find Happiness After a Tragic Loss

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“If we could see that everything, even tragedy, is a gift in disguise, we would then find the best way to nourish the soul.” ~Elizabeth Kubler Ross

Sometimes a tragedy can give new energy to life and bring awareness we have been living on autopilot.

I still remember the night like it was yesterday. It was late and my husband and I had just turned off the light when my phone rang. It was my aunt saying my dad pushed his life alert and was transported to the hospital.

I fumbled to find my clothes and hurried to the …