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Posts tagged with “happy”

Knowing What to Do When the Path You’re On Feels Wrong

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“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” ~Cherokee Proverb

Age is a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s both an internal and external measurement by which many of us, consciously or not, judge our successes and failures, and it’s how others often judge us: “She’s so young to be CEO.” “He’s too old to be a quarterback now.” “Those guys should have stopped touring years ago.” “How old is that woman he’s dating?”

Measurement is part of our culture.

Paradoxically, we initially choose our life paths when we are the least prepared to understand the significance of our decisions.…

How to De-Stress Dating and Stop Tying Your Worth to Relationships

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.

If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be. Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.

The ups and downs in this cycle can make …

How to Live a Full Life and Smile Your Way Through It

“There are only two mantras, yum and yuck, mine is yum.” ~Tom Robbins

I recently had my thirty-first birthday. I am officially in my thirties. This leads to reflection; what have I accomplished with my time as an adult?

I recently started over yet again, making this the fifth state I’ve lived in seven years. I have a roommate, half of the stuff in my room is hers, and I’m temping for a living. I was more prosperous at twenty friggin’ three…

…externally.

If you were to see a photo of me at the age of eighteen next to a …

How to ROCK Your Rock Bottom and Reinvent Yourself

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

I wasn’t always the ridiculously attractive (and humble) Jason you see before you. No, from a very young age I was overweight. I am an only child raised by a single, very hard-working mom. Her crazy work schedule meant that cooking meals was rarely a feasible option. This meant we ate at restaurants or had fast food quite often.

Couple that with my extreme TV watching habits and only going outside when forced, and …

Overcoming Fear and Perceived Threats to Work Toward Your Dream

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

I awoke with a jolt. I heard the steady breathing of my sleeping partner next to me. I checked the clock; it was 3:30 AM. With a deep exhale, while rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I reached out to my bedside table to grab my phone.

For a moment, I hesitated. I knew that tickets went on sale at 4:00 AM New Zealand Time and that they would be going fast.

The U.S. event I wanted to attend would require a considerable financial investment (air travel …

Letting Go of the Guilt That Keeps You Chained to the Past

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, guilt, or possessions—we cannot be free.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh

One night after my nine-year-old son had just gone to bed, he asked me if I would lay with him, as he was scared. I was getting ready for a busy week and was tired, so I replied, “No, you’re fine. Go to sleep.”

When he died the following afternoon after being hit by a car, I remembered what he’d asked me. The guilt that followed me from that …

4 Steps to Process Your Emotions So They Don’t Zap Your Energy

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

I felt zapped. Depleted. Drained. Out of gas. And I wasn’t sure why.

  • Enough sleep? Check.
  • Enough exercise? Check.
  • Enough nutritious food and vitamins? Check.
  • Health check-ups and tests up to date? Check and check.
  • Reasonable schedule? Check.

I thought I felt this way because I’d recently had surgery to remove a sizeable tumor.

But that had gone smoothly, and I was fully recovered and back to my regular schedule.

However, there was one thing that I noticed since the surgery: I …

Peeling Back the Mask: Reconnect With Your Authentic Self

“You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present.” ~Eckhart Tolle           

It was 3PM on a Wednesday and I had nothing to do. An empty schedule with limitless potential. 

I was miles from home in the freezing fog of San Francisco. The bustle of traffic reminded me of my hectic life back home, but I wasn’t bothered. I had nowhere to be and nobody to answer to, just like the day before and the next day. I was free.

I brought my favorite travel companion along with me to aid …

Live Your Life for You: 5 Benefits of Embracing Who You Really Are

“Live your life for you, not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker

I have struggled with my different-ness since I was young. I grew up trying to change the things that made me different in order to fit in. At home, my parents were doing their best to raise three young children, which I can imagine would’ve been very hard.

I can still remember the first time I asked myself, “What is wrong with me?” I loved to take my time and …

Stop Aiming for Perfection: Can You Let Good Enough Be Good Enough?

“Good enough is the new perfect.” ~Becky Beaupre Gillespie

The music started. Pachelbel’s Canon in D on harp and flute. I was supposed to enter the room near the end of the piece.

I knew there were fourteen sets of four measures each, but in my nervous state I quickly lost track. I picked a random moment in the music that I thought might be near the end (surely I’d been waiting forever already), opened the door, and walked in.

Then: BAM!

The door startled me by suddenly slamming shut behind me. Oops… That was not supposed to happen.

Thus

How to Receive Gratefully Instead of Rejecting Kindness

“Giving is virtuous, but so is accepting gifts gratefully.” ~Doe Zantamata

I’ve learned that how well you receive determines how happy you are.

When I was committed to loving myself more, I started to be more aware of how I treated myself. What opened up for me was that I did not know how to receive.

That was one of the things I had to learn in order to really care for myself.

Receiving Capabilities Jammed

There were times when I would squirm and be all awkward when I was given extra attention.

There would be times when I’d feel …

Why Letting Ourselves Feel Bad Is the Key to Feeling Better

“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

For as long as I can remember, I have been on a quest to heal myself. From a very young age I can remember feeling different from my peers. I was always painfully shy and paralyzed with insecurity and fear, which left me in a constant state of self-criticism.

Hardships in my young life, including the suicide of my father, left me with the belief that life was just hard.

Unfortunately, I also thought that it wasn’t supposed to …

Letting Go of the Lies That Make Us Feel Bad About Ourselves

“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” ~Alice Duer Miller

The man who I thought was my soul mate walked out on me fourteen years ago. He immediately remarried a lovely, beautiful woman who was everything I was not.

I am desperate to fall in love. I’m thirty-eight. I want a baby. I want a relationship. I feel alone.

A year ago, I fell unexpectedly in love with my photographer. Yes, star-struck romantics, it was just like the movies. Shy, awkward woman gets pictures taken for her brand-building website, and she is completely unraveled by his boyish …

3 Keys to Feeling Happy, No Matter What Happens

“Look at what you’ve got and make the best of it. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” ~Proverb.

The year 2013 was the happiest of my life.

Not because it was the most perfect or problem free year. In reality it was as messy, sad, and as difficult as any previous year.

In October I looked at the last correspondence between my biological father and me for the first time since his suicide years before. I felt as devastated as the day he died. Healing is a much longer journey than I’d imagined.

Around …

Being True to Ourselves and Forgetting What Other People Think

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker

The day that I realized that I was trapped inside of my life was an ordinary day. I woke up, dressed myself, drove to work, and applied makeup to my assigned actors and actresses. It was a groundhog day filled with my usual routine as an entertainment makeup artist.

I settled into my chair on set and watched as the director directed and the cameramen captured the scenes on tape.

The vibration from my …

How Pain from the Past Can Be a Gift in the Present

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

Don’t hate your past. No matter what it contained or what it did to you, the past shapes who you are, not just for the things you felt damaged you but for the lessons you can take from it.

I love working with the people I call the world shakers. They’re the people who want to make a difference in the world so that they leave it in a slightly better way than they …

How to Really Live Instead of Merely Existing

“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

“Come here and take Dora out to get some milk.”

With those simple words, I knew my father’s time was short. Not a man to ask for help, I knew that milk was just an excuse to get me to come to his side.

My father was a gruff, angry, bitter man who had sealed himself off from nearly everyone. I spoke with him at 7:00 am every Saturday morning for fifteen years. In those conversations he complained about …

How to Wake up Every Morning on Top of The World

“You get peace of mind not by thinking about it or imagining it, but by quietening and relaxing the restless mind.” ~Remez Sasson

What’s the first thought that goes through your head when you wake up in the morning? Is it deliberate, or is it the default “Oh shi#$, it’s 6:00!”?

If that’s how you start your day, then it’s likely your day will be filled with anxiety and stress. It’s not exactly the most productive mechanism for getting things done.

Questions are quite powerful if used in the right way.

25 Ways to Be Good for Someone Else

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly. Show them how.” ~Unknown

When I was a teenager, right around the time I knew everything, my mother used to tell me I only remembered the bad things.

When I told stories about my family, they didn’t revolve around family beach trips, barbecues, and vacations; they focused on painful memories and all the ways I felt my childhood had damaged me.

The same applied to friends and milestones in my life. I chronically remembered and rehashed the worst experiences.

In fact, straight through college I followed up every introductory handshake with a dramatic …

How to Start Feeling Confident, Worthy, and “Enough”

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen

Low self-esteem is like a garden weed. Uproot it while it’s small, or face the consequences of an unruly mess down the road.

Its true, I have gone to extreme lengths to supplement my low self-esteem. Hair colors, tattoos, new hobbies, new jobs, moving in, moving out. I was always waiting for there to be “enough.”

Enough what? Enough things where I could rest, feel satisfied, and be “equal” to everyone else. However, even though I often got what I wanted, …