Posts tagged with “Love”
My Attraction Experiment: Why I Created a Dating Profile with No Pics
“Being attracted to someone’s way of thinking is a whole different level of attraction.” ~Unknown
I have been divorced for ten years now and thought it would be fairly easy to find “the one” once I was set free from the ties of the wrong one. To my surprise, it has been harder than I thought it would be. I have found many but not “the one.”
I have been on Match, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and blind dates, and even dated a longtime friend to only find myself single going into my fiftieth year on this planet. It …
How Singles Can Come Out Stronger After the Pandemic
“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” ~Jamais Cascio
The pandemic has forced us to avoid people, self-isolate, and keep to ourselves.
It might seem like you’re in a position where you don’t have many options. You can’t freely hang out with your friends. You can’t have fun like you used to. Your dating and socializing opportunities are limited. These setbacks can bring to the fore feelings of loneliness, deepen the longing for relationships, and highlight your innate desire for connection.
I know how easy …
How I Reclaimed My Life When I Felt Numb and Unhappy
“All appears to change when we change.” ~Henri-Frédéric Amiel
The biggest life-changing moment in my life would have looked unremarkable to an outsider looking in.
I was at a point in my life (my late twenties) where everything seemed to look good on paper. I had a great job, I was living in downtown Seattle, and I enjoyed the live music scene. Aside from not being in a relationship, I thought I had “arrived.”
The only problem was, I was miserable, and I barely acknowledged it. A part of me knew that I wasn’t happy, but I tried to …
How Embracing Your Sensitivity Can Benefit Your Relationship
“Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of all that you are not.” ~Unknown
If you are a sensitive person like me, you may think being sensitive is problematic. Especially when it comes to love and relationships.
Maybe you’ve been called “too sensitive” by your partner or a parent. Maybe you feel overly emotional or have strong reactions to things or take things personally that don’t bother your partner, or you are easily irritated or get cranky all too often, or you feel the urge to be alone a lot more than you …
Why Curiosity Is My Love Language and How It Makes Me Feel Seen
“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” ~David W. Augsburger
The five love languages—a framework for how we give and receive affection created by psychologist Gary Chapman in 1992—include quality time, gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch.
As much as I love receiving all five demonstrations of care, I’ve always felt that my truest love language was missing from this list.
My love language is curiosity. I show others I care for them by asking questions, learning their experiences, and being hungry for the essence …
What to Do If You’re Single and Feel Like You’re Missing Out
“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” ~Mandy Hale
Going to weddings alone, with no plus-one to take along with you. Watching the couples dance, thinking, “Will there ever come a time when that is me on the dance floor?” Going on holidays alone, with no partner to share memories with. Listening to stories of friends’ weekends away, as a reminder of just how solitary your own weekends are. If you are anything like me, you might recognize these signs of single life.
“Will my situation …
When People We Love Die: How to Honor Their Legacies and Lessons
“The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.” ~Irving Berlin
I never went for any of my grandparent’s funerals as a young child, and honestly, I was secretly glad that I didn’t. I was too young to comprehend what death felt like, and I don’t think I had the strength in me to do so. So, when I heard about their deaths, I told myself stories that they had gone on an extended vacation and were having loads of fun, and hence we couldn’t see them.
This story played in my mind all through the years, and that’s what …
Why I Now Believe Everyone Is Doing the Best They Can
“You just never know what someone is dealing with behind closed doors. No matter how happy someone looks, how loud their laugh is, how big their smile is, there can still be a level of hurt that is indescribable. So be kind. Even when others are not, choose to be kind.” ~Andrea Russett
Everyone is doing the best they can. When they can do better, they will.
“I disagree,” you say. “I see people who are not doing their best all the time!”
Before the year 2006, I had a ton of complaints about the world and the people around …
He Broke My Heart But Taught Me These 5 Things About Love
“Sometimes the only closure you need is the understanding that you deserve better.” ~Trent Shelton
I’ll never forget the day we met.
It was a classic San Francisco day. The sky was a perfect cerulean blue. The sun sparkled brightly.
I ventured from my apartment in the Haight to Duboce Park to enjoy the Saturday. Dogs chased balls in the dog park. Friends congregated on the little hill. They giggled, listened to music, and ate picnic food. Kites flew high in the breeze. Adults tossed Frisbees in their t-shirts and bare feet.
And I sat, bundled up in my scarf, …
How to Make Someone Smile: 10 Mindful Acts of Kindness
“The greatest gifts you can give someone are your time, your love, and your attention.” ~Unknown
The other day I saw this phrase on social media: “Spread kindness, not COVID-19.” And I started thinking about how kindness is contagious, which reminded me of a viral video I’ve always loved:
A skateboarding kid falls, and a construction worker helps him up. The kid then sees an elderly woman struggling with grocery bags and helps her carry them across the street. That woman then gives coins to a woman at a parking meter who’s rifling through her purse. And on and on …
The Key to Helping a Person Who Is Depressed
“Don’t look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won’t let you face them alone.” ~Unknown
Depression for me is like constantly walking up a hill.
Most of the time the hill has only a one percent gradient. You can hardly even tell it’s a hill. I walk, run, jump, skip along, doing cartwheels and stopping to smell pretty flowers and listen to bird-calls; it’s sunny and warm, with clear blue skies.
Even though I have to put in a little bit of effort to walk up, times are good.
And then something happens in …
Why They Wanted to Deny She Was Buddhist in Her Eulogy
“Live and let live.” ~Unknown
So there I was, sitting in front of the Zoom meeting, when it happened. The overwhelming grief just hit me like a freight train. And no matter how much emotional training I tried to dig into, or self-help tricks I tried to muster up, nothing could stop the train in that moment.
The emotions flooded over me and forced me to stop and break down with the simple, plain, beautiful, and powerful truth: I miss my friend.
I had been so busy in this new Covid world, gathering up pictures of her for her obituary, …
How to Make Sense of the Anxiety That Comes with Being a Parent
“You must first teach a child he is loved. Only then is he ready to learn everything else.” ~Amanda Morgan
If I had a nickel for every parent who asked me, “So, if we do (…insert a strategy they have been given…), can we know for sure that he won’t have to deal with (…insert list of problems here …) when he grows up?”
Sadly, there are no nickels for hearing the question, nor guarantees to offer anxious parent. In fact, parental anxiety exists largely because life has no guarantees.
Nevertheless, the question in itself is worth considering.
So let’s …
How I Found the Courage to Leave an Abusive Relationship
“Do something today that your future self will thank you for.” ~Unknown
My whole life has been filled with toxic and abusive relationships, starting with extreme physical and emotional abuse from my parents, right up to the last relationship that I left in 2013. Abuse—physical, sexual, emotional, and verbal—is all I’ve ever known.
My entire life. I knew it wasn’t normal.
I desperately wanted to be loved, appreciated, and respected. I desperately wanted ‘normal,’ whatever that was. I longed for a fairy tale romance. I longed for happiness and peace. I just wasn’t convinced I would ever have that.
And …
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