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Posts tagged with “popular”

Stop Attracting Unhealthy Relationships: 3 Promises to Make to Yourself

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“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.”  ~Unknown

For years, I was entering relationships with men where I saw their potential to be a good match for me, if only they would completely change who they were.

For twelve years, it was the same pattern until one day I finally realized something was broken.

After my last unsuccessful relationship, where I was just holding on, hoping he would change and be the person I wanted him to be, I had had enough. So, I took a much-needed hiatus to …

Why Love Addiction Deprives Us of Love, and How to Let It In

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“What we seek in love is finding someone with whom we feel safe to reveal our true self.” ~Karen Salmansohn

I wasn’t always in a relationship, but I was almost always in love.

I even had crushes in kindergarten. I hated school because my grade school teacher didn’t like me. Maybe my crushes helped me avoid feeling the void, the loneliness, and the sense that I was not of this world, an outcast.

Being in love let me ignore those uncomfortable feelings. Of course, I did not understand any of this at age six. Now I do.

As an …

How to Fall Back in Love With Your Life

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“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

Ever found yourself in a rut, just waiting for some force of the Universe to pull you out?

When ennui sets in, it can be hard to find a way back into the light, but it typically takes a series of events and choices for us to be living a life out of sync with our personal goals, values, and passions.

Last year, I found myself in one of these ruts. After spinning my wheels for quite some time, …

Keep Shining Your Light, Even When You Feel Broken

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“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz

I keep a prism hanging near the entrance to my home. Its beauty, made possible only by the broken nature of the glass from which it is constructed, serves as a constant reminder that even the broken pieces within each and every one of us can serve as a source of light. It’s a lesson that took me some time to learn.

Shortly after graduating from college, I took a long, brutally honest look at my life and realized …

Dealing with Depression: 10 Ways to Feel Positive and Peaceful

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“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~Christopher Reeve

I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. My experiences have also caused severe post-traumatic stress disorder.

My father has been abandoning me for my whole life. As a teenager, I went to live with him because my relationship with my mother was so difficult. He sexually abused me for the year that I lived with him.

At the age of seventeen, I sought solace by turning to what I thought was God. For the next twenty-eight years I held a set of beliefs that were angry and judgmental …

How to Respond to Negative People Without Being Negative

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“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

A former coworker seemed to talk non-stop and loudly, interrupt incessantly, gossip about whomever wasn’t in the room, constantly complain, and live quite happily in martyrdom.

It seemed nothing and no one escaped her negative spin. She was good at it. She could twist the happiest moment of someone’s life into a horrendous mistake. She seemed to enjoy it, too.

At first, my judgmental mind thought her behavior was quite inappropriate. I simply didn’t approve of it. But after weeks of working with her, …

How to Move On When You’re Hurt and Waiting for Closure

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“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Ah, closure. That feeling of vindication, or a sense of completion—it can be very enticing!

There are times when seeking resolution is really important. If we are having an argument with our partner, settling it can help strengthen our relationship. If we are having a disagreement over a contract, determining the outcome may be required to continue with the project at hand.

In these types of situations, seeking resolution is very relevant.

That said, there are loads of situations that occur in life …

6 Ways Your Mind Tries to Control Your Life

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“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Our mind is a funny thing. On the one hand, it’s awesome. But on the other, it can pulverize us more quickly and ruthlessly than anything else.

Our mind is inherently scared. That’s its job, to be cautious—to keep us alive, to have us cross roads safely and not get eaten by a lion. But left unchecked, it can become paralyzed with fear and meaner than a cornered crocodile.

And it’s incredibly bossy.

The mind’s tendency to want to control is so strong …

When You’re In Transition: Being Patient and Accepting Uncertainty

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“Fear, uncertainty, and discomfort are your compasses toward growth.” ~Celestine Chua

Change is never easy, yet it’s always around us. Sometimes it hits us over the head (if you experience divorce, a career change, a move, or a loss of a loved one). Other times, it’s hiding around the next corner. And most of the time, it’s happening even we don’t even know it.

My father firmly believed in the adage the only constant is change. Myself, however, I avoided change as much as I could because I didn’t want to deal with uncertainty.

After a well-scheduled high school …

Are You Limited by the Fear of What Other People Think?

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“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle

A few months ago, I found myself on the busy streets of London’s Covent Garden.

It was a mild Friday evening in the capital and the masses were out celebrating the end of the working week, looking forward to the weekend ahead.

But that’s not why I was there.

I’d come to Covent Garden on that day for a special project.

For most of my life, the fear of what other people thought of me had kept me trapped. It had prevented me …

7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

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“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene

Sometimes I am really terrible to myself, and I relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.

On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.

There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. We feel as if there is something …

Why We Don’t Do What We Want to Do and How to Start

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“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.” ~Unknown

“The truth is,” she said, “if you can’t put fifteen minutes a day into your art, then you’re making an excuse.”

I squirmed in my seat.

It was February 1, 2011, and I was on the phone, interviewing Michele, a professional artist and artist’s mentor, for an online course I created.

Michele was sharing what she tells the artists in her mentorship program who complain of not having enough time to do their art. Her words were intended for her mentees, but …

How to Be Hurt Less by So-Called Evil People

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“Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There were monsters in my closet—or so my five-year-old self believed. As soon as my mother kissed me goodnight and flipped the lights off, they would appear.

See, in my room, the sliding closet doors were kept open, and on the top three shelves, monsters would magically appear in the darkness. Their wide mouths closely resembled folded towels and their eyes looked like the buttons of my sweaters, but I was too scared to notice.

I could only see evil creatures staring at me, and after a …

What We Need to Do Before We Can Have Happy, Loving Relationships

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“Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” ~Unknown

Ever since I was a young girl, relationships have fascinated me, particularly romantic ones. I had beautiful fantasies of my perfect partner appearing and completing me. We would fall in love and live happily ever after.

As a child, I believed that being in a romantic relationship, and especially being married, meant lasting happiness. All the love and joy I would ever want or need would be mine when “the one” arrived. Daydreams of my soul mate filled my tween brain.

This fairy tale view of relationships …

Accepting Uncertainty: We Can Be Happy Without All the Answers

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“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.” ~Tony Robbins

I’ve recently begun to feel as though I am at a crossroads in my career and, as a result, have been feeling very uncomfortable.

I love what I do, working with clients and mentoring new therapists; however, I’m also a mom to two little ones and am feeling the ache of the impermanence of their childhood. This has left me wanting to spend more time at home with them and, therefore, possibly working less.

If you would have asked …

6 Tips to Help You Free Yourself from Your Fearful Thoughts

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“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Here I am, huddled up close to the wood burner, my only source of heat, sitting on an old recliner chair that was given to me, in a rented apartment with windows soaked with condensation. Outside it is cold, wet, and dreary, a typical English winter’s day.

My business folded in July with substantial personal debt and I turned forty-four in August.

Perhaps not the most heart-warming start to a post, but rather some raw facts of how …

Dealing with Disappointing Relationships: Change Your Expectations

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“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown

Sometimes it feels as if you are completely in control of your life, but when it comes to relationships there’s always the other person.

In a relationship, you can’t be the puppeteer. People have their own emotions, behaviors, actions, beliefs, scars, wounds, fears, dreams, and perspectives. They are their own person.

How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it was not?

How many times have you said a certain word or phrase in order to spark a specific reaction?

How much do you expect from …

3 Lessons from Traveling That Lead to Everyday Happiness

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“Remember that happiness is a way of travel—not a destination.” ~Roy M. Goodman

After graduating from college I took off to explore Europe for four months with one of my best friends.

We backpacked through fourteen different countries and learned things about the world and ourselves that we never expected. We often joked that we learned more about life and ourselves traveling abroad for four months than we did going to school for four years in college.

When you’re traveling, you get a whole new perspective on what really matters, and you feel this sense of adventure and excitement that …

50 Ways to Find Creative Inspiration

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“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

I have always loved that scene in American Beauty when Ricky Fitts shows his video of a plastic bag blowing in the wind.

He’s the complete opposite of his neighbor Lester Burnham, who seems to have decided long ago to live life in a comatose state of submission, completely disconnected from authentic joy.

Ricky seems inspired by everything that most people simply overlook. He explains of his bag video:

“It was one of those days when it’s a minute …

When Trying to Be Positive Brings You Down

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“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

How many of us have caught ourselves feeling as though we’re imposters when we’re trying to talk about a difficult situation in a positive light? We’re often fed the idea that how we feel is in how we decide to see life, which, I agree with; however, sometimes I think that idea gets taken to a deceptive extreme.

In the midst of one of my mini-meltdowns the other day, I called my friend and told her what had been going on in my head the last few months.

“It’s sounds as …