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Posts tagged with “wrong”

How I Stopped Feeling Like There Was Something Wrong with Me

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“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” – Zen Shin

In the past, I often felt like I didn’t belong in groups of women.

Sometimes I felt like something was wrong with me, like I was othered in one way or another: too sporty, too quiet, too serious, too emotional, too dumb, too smart, too wild, too normal, too sexual, too prude.

Other times, I felt like something was wrong with all of them. Girls’ nights and bachelorette parties? The screeching voices, the loud laughs, the mundane conversations about makeup, …

If You Think There’s Something Wrong with You…

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The root cause of suffering for many of us is believing that there’s something’s wrong with us. Psychiatrists’ and therapists’ offices are filled with people who are carrying this false belief, most often stemming from traumatic or painful childhood experiences, or even people telling us this directly.

Sometimes we inferred this idea because we were treated badly as children and/or we didn’t get our physical or emotional needs met. Perhaps we were called selfish or bad because we “asked for too much,” or we were told we couldn’t have what we wanted because we didn’t “earn or deserve it.”

Maybe …

That Doesn’t Mean They’re Wrong

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We Can Choose Different Ways Without One of Us Being Wrong

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“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Many of us are committed to a journey of change and personal growth. While these are traits to be admired and celebrated, they can also have a darker side. We can become a little militant and dogmatic when we’re on our journeys.

As we focus on our attempts to make changes in our own lives, our views can start to narrow and become very black and white. We become so tuned into what …

How Our Egos Create Drama in Our Relationships (And How to Avoid It)

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“The ego is the false self-born out of fear and defensiveness.” ~John O’Donohue

I started a new relationship in December 2015, then moved countries to be with my Swedish partner in August, 2016.

The last year has been life changing in the best possible ways. I’ve learned so much about myself, things I didn’t have the courage to acknowledge before.

But it hasn’t all been a bed of roses—some of the insights I’ve gleaned haven’t been that comfortable to see.

We met on an intensive spiritual retreat in India. We’ve both spent many years working on ourselves and our issues, …

3 Things We Can All Do to Create Stronger, Happier Relationships

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“Love is the absence of judgment.” ~Dalai Lama

I used to be one of those moms.

Let me explain.

I was a single mom for literally my daughter’s entire childhood. That’s okay—I was a control freak, so it really suited me. I got to make all the decisions. Perfect!

And it was… for me. Not so much for my daughter, but then in those days I was only focused on getting through the day and paying the bills.

We coped. I made the rules, set the boundaries, and expected her to tow the line.

Which she mostly did, …

There Are No Wrong Turns

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When Things Go Wrong: 5 Tips for Navigating Your “Why Me” Moments

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“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

Have you ever been cruising down the highway of life only to unexpectedly hit a major pothole that completely threw you off? Maybe you lost a job, ended a relationship, or were betrayed by a friend.

It’s easy to wonder “why did this happen to me?” and stay buried in the pothole. It’s up to us to break free and regain our cruising speed on our life journey. Easier said than done, right?…

Love Yourself So Much That…

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Focus on What Could Go Right

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Source: Natural Life

Love Yourself So Much That…

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Source: Awakening People

No Matter What You Tell Yourself, There Is Nothing Wrong with You

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“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” ~Bronnie Ware from Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

I wish I could remember the exact moment I mis-learned that being myself wasn’t going to cut it.

It happened early. Maybe kindergarten. I didn’t do it consciously, but at some undetectable moment, I put my real self in a box and created someone else. This new me was so much better—always happy, very accommodating, super quick and witty, and an expert at everything.

This new me was almost impossible to …

When Someone Does Something Wrong

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Source: Positive Outlooks

Holiday Love Challenge #18: Only Say “I’m Sorry” When You Mean It

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Want more ideas to strengthen your relationships? Get Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges.

Relinquishing Control of Others: 5 Ways It Serves You

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“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.” ~Oscar Wilde

My mother is a huge control freak. I am told she got it from my grandmother, who basically ran everyone’s life.

Regardless, growing up, I noticed that she really struggled with relinquishing control of what we were all doing with our lives.

It was partly out of love because she just wanted what was best for us, and partly because she feels a sense of panic when she doesn’t know what’s going to …

Love Challenge #233: My Way Isn’t Right

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We’d all be so much happier, and we’d get along a lot better, if we accepted that everyone does things differently!

(This challenge comes from the upcoming book Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges. Pre-order before October 6th and get $300+ in free bonus gifts!)

There’s More Right in the World Than You Might Think

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“When you turn on the television … you run the risk of ingesting harmful things, such as violence, despair, or fear.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I passed the rack of newspapers on my way into story time at the library, ignoring the latest headlines. Murder, mayhem, war, disaster—it all calls like a siren at sea. My pace picks up as I turn the other direction.

My two-year old charge, whom I affectionately call Little Man P, is captivated by the animated librarian. She impresses me with her liveliness and ease in handling a room full of kiddos. It is clear she …

7 Habits That Keep You Strong (Even When Things Go Wrong)

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“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown

It’s happened to most of us.

Despite our best intentions, something goes dreadfully wrong.

You suffer a heartbreaking loss, make a terrible mistake, or get blindsided by an injury.

In disbelief your mind cries, “Wait. What?”

And then, “No, no, no, this can’t be happening.”

After the initial shock, when the surge of stress hormones has subsided, you realize that yes, this is happening.

And you can’t help thinking: “But how could this happen? It’s not fair. I can’t bear …

How to Help Yourself by Owning Your “Bad” Qualities

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“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~William Shakespeare

Like many women, I feared my own voice.

I feared what would happen if I acknowledged my feelings and I feared what would happen if I expressed them.

Above all, I feared that people would leave me if I ever communicated as my true self.

In my family and culture, feelings are things that are best when denied. I was taught they are a liability that, if embraced, would lead to fights, pain, and loneliness. I was encouraged to ignore, avoid, and push them down into …

You Are Broken, Let Me Fix You

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“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Sven Goran Erikkson

Let me fix you.

You really should try not to be so sensitive, Leah. The world is sometimes a difficult and upsetting place, but you shouldn’t let it affect you so much.

Let me fix you.

You know, you really ought to spend more time with people, Leah. It’s not good for you to be alone so much.

Let me fix you.

You know, you really shouldn’t make such quick, spur-of-the-moment decisions, Leah. It’s not good to do that in life and you’ll end …