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I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love

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  • April 16, 2026 at 5:49 pm #457037
    anita
    Participant

    Hmm Confused, I think that you are making an excellent point 👉

    You needed time for yourself back then (Nov), time to be alone, but felt too GUILTY to ask for it, fearing that your fair need (everyone needs alone-time) would hurt her.

    That’s an emotional quagmire: guilt 4 a natural, human need.

    What do u think 🤔?

    (no vomit face emoji), Anita

    April 16, 2026 at 6:43 pm #457039
    Confused
    Participant

    Could be the case but i woke up first feeling like i dont want anything at all, then i didnt know how to tell her so this followed.. I still wonder

    April 16, 2026 at 6:48 pm #457040
    anita
    Participant

    Guiltfused Confused?

    April 16, 2026 at 7:09 pm #457042
    Confused
    Participant

    Yes i have been very guiltful 🙁

    Another thing, why were my feelings/fantasies would last for a minute and then vanish in january? What is this?

    April 16, 2026 at 7:19 pm #457044
    anita
    Participant

    I am not sure, but lots of things vanish when guilt gets into the picture. Guilt in small potions can be useful (like a potion of 🍦 or 🍕), but too much and (wait, the emoji is appropriate here) you 🤢

    April 17, 2026 at 8:43 pm #457079
    anita
    Participant

    Oh, my goodness, Confused: it’s longer than 24 hours since you posted last. 25.5 hours since you posted last. The thought: I may never read from you again.

    It happened so many times over the years. If this is a goodbye, then 👋

    🌙 🦉 🐇 🍦 🍕 🤢 😐 😊 Anita

    April 17, 2026 at 9:19 pm #457080
    anita
    Participant

    CoNfUsEd?

    April 18, 2026 at 5:29 am #457084
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    I didn’t use my PC at all that’s why haha. If i am about to stop posting i’ll inform u 🙂

    So guilt affected me?

    April 18, 2026 at 7:37 am #457085
    anita
    Participant

    YES! Confused is still here 👍🥰✨

    Yes, of course, guilt is affecting you. You indicated that many times, beginning in your very first message here, on Dec 19, 2025: “feeling like a burden and like I am responsible for her feelings” and last, in your post before last: “Yes i have been very guiltful 🙁”.

    Maybe we should explore your guilt, figure out what it’s about, when it started?

    Anita (who knows a thing or two about guilt)

    April 18, 2026 at 10:33 am #457087
    anita
    Participant

    * You know I’m emoji-sensitive, so.. I just looked at the above and noticed that I submitted one with red hearts on its face. I mistakenly (poor eyesight and no glasses on) thought it was an emoji blowing a red whistle, or wearing a red party hat as a gesture of celebration (that you’re still here).

    I didn’t see the hearts and don’t want to appear weird for sending red hearts to a young man. That would be 🤢-able.

    🥳 more like it, Anita

    April 18, 2026 at 6:56 pm #457091
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    Haha dont worry i wouldnt leave without telling u 🙂

    Hmm, it started when i woke up feeling like shit (10-11 november) and especially in the 12th when i felt the repulsion, from then on i started feeling guilty for hurting her/leading her on and responsible, the connection suddenly felt like a “burden” in my mind, rather than enjoyment and i cannot understand why 🙁

    I like emojis too (it’s also our “inside game” with the girl 🙂 ) so dont worry i dont judge anything haha

    April 18, 2026 at 7:10 pm #457092
    anita
    Participant

    Good 🌃-🌄 🌙-🦉 Confused:

    Thank you for not leaving without telling me and 4 not judging my emojis 🙏

    Why the connection suddenly felt like a burden rather than enjoyment?

    Was it:

    A. her anxiety (going into possible future scenarios, trying to solve problems that weren’t there)?

    B. Was it the talk about you moving to a different country, leaving the familiar behind?

    C. Something else?

    🤔 Anita

    April 18, 2026 at 8:35 pm #457095
    Confused
    Participant

    Hmm, even though that talk about the future and her responses did throw me off a little bit, it didn’t seem like a really big deal (even tho in my mind she looked like she’s sabotaging, which she wasn’t) because i still had the plan of “meeting first and see how it goes later”.
    It might have been something like this: I woke up depressed/anhedonic/burnt out or something along the lines. I couldnt tell her because i was thinking she would be hurt and leave me, so my mind went to freeze mode/avoidance for protection? This is a scenario i’ve thought too but idk if it actually benefits me to make scenarios.

    April 18, 2026 at 8:53 pm #457096
    anita
    Participant

    “Idk if it actually benefits me to make scenarios”-

    Okay then, no scenarios. I just want you to be okay, to feel okay- whether with her or not with her.

    It’s about what is good for you!

    I mean, place your own well- being as your number 1 priority- not because you’re selfish, but because you matter.

    U’re # 1 in ur own life, there’s only one of you, for only this one lifetime.

    U 1st; She 2nd.

    🤍 Anita

    April 19, 2026 at 10:25 am #457110
    anita
    Participant

    Hey Dear Confused:

    In your last post you wrote: “I was thinking she would be hurt and leave me, so my mind went to freeze mode/avoidance for protection?”-

    In my last message I reacted to the I was thinking she would be hurt part”, spontaneously projecting my experience of guilt, having put myself 2nd to the person I felt that I had hurt.

    This morning, I see that I didn’t see the other part of your sentence, that you were thinking she’d leave you.

    Did you feel guilty for possibly hurting her or were you more afraid that she’d leave you?

    🤔 Anita

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