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Smiling

Stop Comparing: No One Can Do a Better Job of Being You

“Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown

For fifteen years I gave up on art.

I’d been an “artistic” kid, always drawing and painting, but by first or second grade I was already comparing my work to that of other kids and judging it as inferior.… Read More

Fear

Building Confidence to Face a Fear Instead of Hiding from It

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I was very shy growing up, especially in lower and middle school. I moved from the US to London when I was five. Although I don’t remember a lot of my experience in lower school in London, I do know that when I first started I refused to speak or read aloud.… Read More

Strength

3 Choices for Dealing with Pain or Abuse: Strength Is in the Healing

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

When I was twenty-four, leaving my ex was my “something bad.” It was about as bad as it could get.

After four years of dating, I was certain marriage was right around the corner.… Read More

Enlightenment

Dealing with Loss: 3 Uplifting Truths About Death and Grief

“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babbitt

I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my face contorted into a painful grimace, tears streaming down my cheeks. My throat constricted to keep the sobbing at bay.… Read More

strolling

How Our Attractions Can Help us Learn to Complete Ourselves

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” ~H. Jackson Browne

The first time I was stung with the notion of a soul mate, I was twelve years old. I had accompanied my mother to the wedding of a family friend. The church was blissful, the bride beautiful, and the way the groom looked at her had me thinking that one day this would be me.… Read More

Heartbreak

Stop The Heartbreak Cycle: 7 Dos and Don’ts For Handling a Break-Up

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~Unknown

I’ve learned to be thankful for my first heartbreak.

Of course, at the time of the crime I struggled to see anything positive in it. … Read More

Let Go

The Power of Surrendering: Let Go of Control to Be Peaceful and Free

“The reality is that tomorrow is most certainly uncertain and no matter how many expectations we form, tomorrow will come, tomorrow will go and it will all be what it will be.” ~Lori Deschene

I have never known how to surrender to just about anything. Surrendering is giving up control, and this is something I have never been good at doing.… Read More

Path of Heart

The Path of Heart: Live a Passionate Life Full of Love and Joy

“Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

In my late thirties, I attended a workshop that was led by a group of coaches. One of the exercises we did was called the “future self-exercise,” a visualization that took me twenty years into my future.… Read More

Giving

A Simple Way to Make the World a Little Better Every Day

“As one person I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of one person.” ~Paul Shane Spear

When I was 17 years old, I decided to make a change.

Instead of keeping my opinions to myself, I was going to start sharing them.

Every time I had a kind thought about someone, I was going to tell them.… Read More

Thankful

Happiness Doesn’t Make Us Grateful; Gratitude Makes Us Happy

“In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.” ~Brother David Steindl-Rast

A few years ago, my life was chaotic. I drank too much, slept too little, and always went with the flow. I didn’t look out for myself emotionally and physically.… Read More

Friends Jumping

Love What’s Right Before You Instead of Hating What’s Missing

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough.” ~Walt Whitman

I take stuff for granted. I suspect you take stuff for granted.

It’s almost as if it can’t be helped. When things—family, friends, health, amenities, or money—occupy a place in our lives for years, we naturally begin to view them as commonplace; we assume they’ll forever be, just as they’ve always been.… Read More

Helping

How to Fill the Emptiness in Your Life

“Find your Calcutta.” ~Mother Teresa

Something is missing in your life, isn’t it?

You’re working hard, trying to get ahead, doing everything you possibly can to make life just a little bit better. You’re trying to keep it all balanced, though. You won’t be one of those people who commits every waking second to work and the pursuit of career.… Read More

Purpose

Activating the Life Purpose That’s Right Under Your Nose

“Our obligation is to give meaning to life, and in doing so to overcome the passive, indifferent life.” ~Elie Wiesel

After surveying 3,000 people, psychologist Cynthia Kersey discovered that 94% had no clue as to their purpose in life—94%!

As painful as this statistic is, it is even more painful in light of how relatively simple it is to discover a worthy and fulfilling life purpose.… Read More

Plant in dried cracked mud

When Life Feels Crazy: 6 Questions for Cracking Up & Breaking Through

“Every really new idea looks crazy at first.” ~Abraham H. Maslow

Once, when I was in a painting workshop, I hit a wall of resistance, totally stumped by what to paint next.

My painting teacher came over to explore some questions that could help unblock me. But my “wall” was concrete, or industrial metal, or super-duper spy-movie-like with some computer-code contraption locking all security systems down.… Read More

Reflection

Your Reality Is a Reflection of What You Believe You Deserve

“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Over the last ten years I have learned time and time again that our reality is a reflection of what we believe we deserve, often on an unconscious level.

I discovered this about a decade ago while living in Belize—a diving vacation hotspot on one end and gang-infested, poverty-ridden land on the other.… Read More

Friends

5 Ways You Attract Great People When You Like Yourself More

“By accepting yourself and being fully what you are, your presence can make others happy.” ~Jane Roberts

Several years ago, I was so unhappy with my harsh loneliness that I decided that I was going to try anything under the sun to build a social life and have friends that cared about me.… Read More

Let Go

The Greatest Act of Love Is Letting Go

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

I was brought up in a family and culture that was riddled with fear.

My elders were terrified of the world and always on the defensive for something bad to happen. They believed that love meant closely protecting others from the dangers of the world and the pain of life.… Read More

Inner Light

Develop Self-Compassion: 5 Tips to Stop Being Down on Yourself

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield

I never wanted to see a therapist. I imagined settling onto the storied couch and seeing dollar signs appear in concerned eyes as I listed the family history of mental illness, addiction, and abuse. I feared I’d be labeled before I’d ever been heard.… Read More

Showing the Way

Encouraging Love: Help Your Partner Grow Without Being a Critic

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hahn

When you think you’re an evolved and conscious woman and your partner tells you in no unclear terms that you’re “hard to be with,” it does a number on you.

Those words landed like a well-aimed boulder, smashing the immaculate vision I’d created of evolving myself: an exemplary girlfriend who was “doing the work” to grow, to become generously loving, spiritually awake, and to wholeheartedly support and encourage her beautiful partner to open to his fullest potential.… Read More

Clapping

The Antidote to Criticism: Turn Others’ Doubt Into a Standing Ovation

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Aristotle

Gangly and skinny, I never attracted much attention from the opposite sex during high school. I was the friendly and funny sidekick to the popular girls—fun to hang out with but not to date.

When an older guy approached me during my last year of high school, I thought it would be a normal high school romance.… Read More

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