“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” ~Unknown
As the days have continued on past the beginning of the New Year, my discontent has been growing as I’ve been thinking (or worrying) about how unmotivated I feel.
The holidays have come to a close, the New Year began, we made wonderful goals for ourselves, and yet, I’ve begun nothing.… Read More
“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
From time to time I read my old journals. When the moment strikes me, I choose a journal at random from my bookshelf.
This time it was the beautiful green and gold one my mom had given me in what must have been September of 2010, because the writing chronicles my life from September 20, 2010 to January 1, 2011.… Read More
“He who is brave is free.” ~Seneca
We all know what debt is. Some of us, most of us, still have a few we’re paying off.
Student loans, car payments, mortgages.
But what about the unseen debts, debts that are invisible to the naked eye but instead live within our hearts?… Read More
“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” ~Joan Didion
For a few years in the late 90s, I had a date with the green-eyed monster every other Monday at 6:00 PM on the dot.
That was when my women artists support group met in my friend Anne’s studio.… Read More
“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene
In February of 2011, I went to see my doctor because I was suffering from severe headaches that I figured were associated with using computers all day at my law job. After having a few tests, the doctor said that I wasn’t doing well and he suggested that I take a leave from work to focus on my health.… Read More
“Your actions are your only true belongings.” ~Allan Lokos
I used to be the kind of girl who relished in stable and perfect surroundings. I fanned my magazines. I scrubbed the inside of the refrigerator.
I worked tirelessly to cultivate the external environment that I was lacking inside.
Externally, things were in order.… Read More
“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~Marianne Williamson
Our 12th floor apartment overlooks Cape Town’s city bowl and harbor. The view is such that even on overcast days I’m drawn to the window each morning to breathe it in.… Read More
“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” ~Francois Gautier
Pain was my norm; not physical pain, but emotional pain compounded with mental self-torture. I was an introvert without introspection, painfully shy and unable to make eye contact. I caved to all manners of peer pressure.
I was a doormat and didn’t stand up for myself, although I would fight tooth and nail for someone else.… Read More
“When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be.” ~Lau Tzu
In the spring of last year, a number of events challenged my sense of self and my sense of direction.
In March I realized my tax liability would be much larger than I’d anticipated, effectively depleting my entire savings account.… Read More
“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We often think of quitting as failure. We commend people for carrying on when times get rough. The heroes in our action movies don’t just give up when things get difficult. When was the last time you saw Steven Seagal walk away from a fight?… Read More
“Our strength grows out of our weaknesses.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I never thought I’d want to kill myself.
All my life, I’d been a strong, independent woman, building a business from home, raising two wonderful sons, and staying happy and positive throughout.
If you’d told me I’d one day consider taking my own life, I’d have laughed and said, “You’ve got me confused with someone else!”
But after twenty years and two sons together, my husband and I decided to split up.… Read More
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.” ~Sri Chinmoy
I hated myself when I was a kid.
I was overweight and starting to really like girls, but they didn’t like me.
I didn’t want to take my shirt off in front of them, so I didn’t go to the pool.… Read More
“If you light a lamp for someone else it will also brighten your path.” ~Buddha
Why are you here on this earth? What is your purpose? What are you supposed to be doing with your life? These deep questions burn in all of us. Our souls’ desire is to lead fulfilling lives that have meaning.… Read More
“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” ~Denis Waitley
I remember dreaming for years about living abroad. First it was Italy so that I could discover my roots. Then it was Fiji because it seemed like the furthest place from Los Angeles (which I actually did, but only for two months during the summer of 2003).… Read More
“The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is.” ~Unknown
In this society of ours, parents teach their children to do, to perform, to produce. We learn that to be adult, we need to be “productive members of society.” At social gatherings, more often than not, the first question among strangers is “What do you do?”
My first memories include identifying so deeply with my movie director father that when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always replied, “A writer and director.”
Then life happened, and I spent decades acting out the painful and abusive relationship I had with my mother.… Read More
“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle
The first rain after a long draught gets people talking about cozy things. Being with others, being physically close to others, going out in groups, staying in with someone.… Read More
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Theresa
Last year, I was on the CTA (Chicago’s public transit) heading to class to take an exam. Rather, I should say that I was rushing to class. I wasn’t running late, but I often got caught up in the hustle and bustle of Chicago during morning rush hour.… Read More
“Freedom is instantaneous the moment we accept things as they are.” ~Karen Maezen Miller
The world is filled with people who work hard at being positive, peaceful, and more spiritual and who then feel bad when they don’t measure up. I know because I used to be one of them. And I still am from time to time.… Read More
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~Chinese Proverb
Yes, I had reached the age of 25. Still, I doubted this letter from my past would make it to me, all these years later. It was a simple creative writing assignment from when I was 15.… Read More
“Do something now that will make the person you’ll be tomorrow proud.” ~Unknown
A while back someone asked me to list my greatest accomplishments for 2012.
As I racked my brain, I thought of a few professional achievements that made me feel proud, but as for the top accomplishment, I kept coming back to the same thing: my sister’s wedding.… Read More