Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kate Swoboda

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

By the end of 2011, I was trying my hardest not to see it: burnout.

I’d been going full steam ahead since I turned my part-time business into a full-time vocational mission, back in 2009. When people remarked that I was doing a lot, I would wave away their comments and say facetiously, “Well, you know—I’m a Sagittarius with three planets in Virgo.”

Part of the reason I didn’t want to really look at what was going on was that 2011 had been a banner year. After years of hard work, I was (finally!) starting to see the benefits that come with it: increased traffic, more clients, and more requests to collaborate on projects with people I admired.

But the burnout was obvious: not looking forward to Mondays, not wanting to check email, feeling perpetually tired and overwhelmed, and sometimes, resentful.

I really wanted to be away from the computer, away from email, and definitely not getting distracted with social media. This thought was always followed by an immediate fear: “I can’t do that! I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for!”

But as Chodron says, fear is what happens when we move closer to the truth.

My truth was that I wanted a complete digital break. So finally, from December 15^th 2011 through January 15^th 2012, I took one.

Since so many people have asked me “how” I could possibly run a business and take thirty days away from being online, I’ll share what I learned. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Caroline van Kimmenade

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” ~Bryant H. McGil

I don’t think I’d be alive if it weren’t for my curiosity.

Is that a dramatized statement? Maybe.

For me, curiosity has brought a curious kind of “fun” and “enchantment” to an otherwise bleak, painful, and seemingly hopeless period in my life.

Diagnosed with “burn-out” (a.k.a. adrenal fatigue) in 2009, my life quickly unraveled in front of me. I lost my job, my health, and my social life.

From what seemed like one moment to the next (but in fact was a shift happening over numerous weeks) I lost the ability to read or concentrate on pretty much anything for longer than a short instant.

Did I have it coming? Apparently.

Did I see it coming? Not really, no.

So, there I was. I could only manage one task a day. Making a simple phone call was a task.

It was difficult to accept, and it was frightening.

I’d always assumed that, whatever happened, I could rebuild my life. I could go and get a job somewhere else and start over, I could make things work.

Now, it seemed I couldn’t make anything work. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s note: This is a contribution by Katie Tallo

“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” ~Proverb

My name is Katie and I am an over-planner. I spend way too much time laying out meticulous plans as if they were exquisite bejeweled gowns. I spread them across beautiful handmade notebooks, trim them with pink and green headings and sub-headings, and step back to admire them when I’m done.

They are tomorrow’s plans. Each one more stylish, more elaborate, more organized than the last. Each one the perfect plan. But in reality, not one of them is. Once the latest plan has been printed or pasted or posted, I grow weary of it and want another.

I’m addicted to perfecting my plans, but not actually executing them.

This repetitive crafting of the next best laid plan has me caught in a time warp where I’m forever looking ahead, forever color-coding the future, forever laying out a decorative path that I don’t have time to explore because I’m too busy planning and perfecting.

My perfect plans are nothing more than plastic-sealed sofas no one ever touches or perfectly manicured rose gardens no one ever smells.

They are an illusion, they are excuses, they are busy-makers, they are attempts to control the chaos, and they only succeed in helping me avoid the real work of digging and pushing and acting and living today, not tomorrow.

Maybe your plans feel this way too. Do you find yourself planning and organizing and researching and preparing, but never really getting down to mastering anything except planning?

You could be like me—a bit of a perfectionist, a slight over-achiever, a touch bossy, a tad of a control freak, but I bet you are a whole lot more than that. You’re also likely a soulful human being with dreams and goals and a desire to live purposefully and joyfully.

If so, here’s a new plan of attack that just might get you out of your perfect planning rut. Choose a simple, heartfelt habit and do it every day. Don’t worry about being perfect or doing everything all at once, just repeat this habit each and every day.

Today, I will walk the dog, grab a coffee, then come home and write a few pages of my novel. Now there’s a good plan—a plan that I can do today and maybe even repeat tomorrow.

Maybe I’ll end up getting in shape, feeling good about life, and finishing that book I’ve been writing. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kate Britt

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs.” ~James Allen

I recently participated in a 21-day online fitness support group. I needed some external motivation to help re-establish a daily habit of fitness activity. My lazy butt was so reluctant to start this! Nevertheless, by the last day of the challenge, I was enthusiastically back into the habit.

We all know it takes three weeks of daily repetition to form a habit, so my success may not surprise you. What surprised me was why I ultimately met my goal.

It turned out that nothing about my success was about the physical aspects of daily exercise!

When I retired a few years ago, somehow that translated into retiring from regular fitness activity. Retirement meant I could rejoice in not having to do anything. No expectations. No shoulds. Just do what I want to do, every minute of every day.

We’re constantly told we “should” exercise—30 minutes daily, or 3x/week, or 10,000 steps a day, or blahblahblah.

Yes, but I also have a lifetime resolution to eliminate “shoulds.” My attitude toward exercise had become resistance-based because of all the “should” advice. I’d given myself permission to avoid it. Hey, I’m in charge of my own body, right?

But now, a few years later, my body has begun to show the deterioration symptoms of being ruled by my retired, lazy butt. I needed to put a stop to that. I decided I “should” exercise.

Gradually, this 21-day fitness commitment reminded me that my lazy butt is a mental state, not a state of butt!

First, I realized how easily I’ve been letting anything—whatever—thwart my exercise plans. Any excuse was a good one. Grocery shopping to do? Well then, I certainly can’t fit in that aqua-fit class! Rain? Yay, I don’t have to go for that walk! Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Noch Noch

“Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” ~Unknown

After pitching an idea to an international online magazine a month ago, I recently sent the article to the editor. I was quite nervous. It had taken me more than a month. Every time I sat down to write, I didn’t know how to begin.

I typed and then deleted my paragraphs. I typed again, and then deleted the whole document. I wasn’t happy with what I had written.

Eventually, I said to myself, I had to submit something because it had taken too long. So in the flurry of two hours, I hammered out the article, sent it to a friend for comments, and went about perfecting it.

I revised my writing, taking a few of my friend’s suggestions, but still I wasn’t completely satisfied with what I had produced. Yet, I didn’t know how else I would improve it anymore. By then, I was tired of reading, re-reading, and re-re-reading, so I sent it off.

For three days I waited gingerly by my computer, causing myself needless anxiety over whether or not the article would be accepted.

This was crucial for me as I was taking the first step in testing the market to see if it was receptive to my thoughts, and perhaps a book about the experiences of a Generation Y female executive overcoming depression.

Plus, the website was authoritative in its own right and it would give me some exposure and signs as to whether my direction was in on track.

I was more than ecstatic that the editor came back and said they had already published the post and gave me a link to it.

You might think I felt proud of myself for this achievement. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

• Amber
• Cris

Have you ever felt like the present moment is passing you by while you’re caught up worrying, analyzing, planning, and trying to protect yourself from pain and loss?

It’s one the pitfalls of the human condition: we often paralyze ourselves in the pursuit of happiness and abundance, and in the process, miss out on the joy right in front of us.

Shyalpa Tenzin Rinpoche has devoted his life to helping people live joyful, mindful lives, free from the burdens of their minds.

In his new book, Living Fully, Finding Joy in Every Breath, Rinpoche summarizes his teachings in succinct, easily digestible sections. The result is a guide for living in the moment, peacefully, connected to the people and the world around us.

The Giveaway

To enter to win 1 of 2 free copies of Living Fully:

• Leave a comment below
• Tweet: RT @tinybuddha Book GIVEAWAY & Interview: Living Fully (comment on the blog to win!) http://bit.ly/ydAMit

If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can still enter by completing the first step. You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, March 11^th.

The Interview

1. You were trained to be a Lama from the age of four. Did you always feel certain you wanted to be a spiritual teacher?

Even though I was trained in the most ancient Tibetan Buddhist spiritual tradition from a very young age, I personally never intended to become a spiritual leader. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Niall Burke

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” -Dalai Lama

I’ve spent most of my life engaged in “if only” scenarios. I’ve spent hours predicting my ideal future or rehashing the past, imagining what life would be like now if only I had done X, Y, and Z when I was 15.

When not lost in imaginations of my own making I would be cursing myself, telling myself that I should have achieved certain things by now.

Of course this only led to misery and dejection. By focusing on what I didn’t have, or what I felt I should have, I was playing the victim, abdicating responsibility to external forces.

Not once did I stop and think that things weren’t happening for me because I was doing nothing to make things happen.

I was caught in a rut of working hard Monday to Friday, drinking hard Friday and Saturday, and spending Sundays wrapped in a blanket on the couch, hung over, laptop open trying to fill the void in me. I was in danger of becoming an overweight, unattractive slob.

I had all the trappings of success. I was earning very good money for someone my age. I could buy all the clothes, DVDs, and CDs that I wanted.

Holidays were no problem; at the drop of a hat I could go on a weekend to London or a week-long trip to New York.

However, like so many stories you read, I was only using material goods to fill the gap in my soul, looking for temporary joy while neglecting long-term happiness.

Things came to a head for me in autumn of 2008. I was working hard on a project for work. I knew it was slipping away from me and wouldn’t turn out as expected, yet I was too proud to ask for help and just internalised all the stress. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Gretchen Knox

“Make the most of yourself, because that’s all there is of you.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Twelve years ago, my husband and I were preparing to adopt our son. As part of the process we were required to take parenting classes.

One of the classes was about taking care of ourselves so that we could take care of others. Given the difficult journey that parenting can be, the instructor encouraged us to “refill our glass.”

Honestly, I couldn’t relate to what he meant. I was young and excited about having a family. Silently I dismissed his suggestion that parenting or anything in my life, for that matter, would challenge me so much that I would need to “refill my glass.”

Eventually I figured out what he meant—and it isn’t just for parents. All of us need to refill our glass so that we can live happy and fulfilling lives.

Refilling my glass is taking those mindful, deliberate actions to improve my mental state and attitude—to lift myself up so that I can continue on a positive path with energy and good intention. I found that by refilling my glass, I could be happy despite the ups and downs that life presents.

Sometimes it’s hard to take the time to figure what we need and why. And it’s easy to feel like a victim.  

In fact, there have been times in my life it when I have preferred to be a victim to my circumstances. When that happens my glass is dry. Thanks to my husband, friends, and websites like Tiny Buddha, I’ve learned how much I can benefit by making the effort to refill my glass.

I’d like to share some simple ideas that helped me:

Watch.

When I was dealing with a lot stress last year, I felt down and lacked energy. I was going through life in a robotic way. No excitement, no fulfillment. While I didn’t know it, this was a sign that my glass needed refilling. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Harriet Cabelly 

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life but the ability to cope with it.” -Unknown

When my daughter, Nava, was critically ill, on a ventilator in a drug-induced coma for three months, one of the ICU doctors called me in after a couple of weeks to tell me that if she survives, it will be a long road.

He started writing out a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication to “help” me through this horrific ordeal.  I certainly don’t fault him here as this was an extreme acute situation and he didn’t know if I could manage without falling apart.

His offering of “the pill” was an awakening. 

I realized I better start doing something to keep myself strong so I can function through this and be by Navi’s side. This was my impetus for gearing up into self-preservation mode.

The next day I began my walking regime around the hospital streets. I started taking 30 minutes off from sitting by Navi’s bedside listening to every beep, bleep, and gurgle, to engage in my non-medicated self-prescription program.

Truth be told, I’ve been a walker for the past 17 years, since my friend dragged to the gym the summer of my separation.  I guess I was ready because it didn’t take much coercion.  A bit of “c’mon get moving; it’ll do you good” was all I needed. I showed up, and have never stopped.

It became a way of life, a grounding and healthy reprieve during my divorce, my working and going to school, and dealing with the illness and disabilities of Navi’s earlier years. I found something to hold to that I felt was keeping me healthy and strong, both psychologically and physically; and exercise was it.

 And so when Doctor S. pulled out his prescription pad from his pocket, I pulled my exercise tool from mine; two working legs and I was on my way. 

I at least wanted to give it a shot. But mind over matter, I knew then I wasn’t starting with any pills. Side effects are a biggie with my sensitive gut.

And that is how I functioned for the next year as I spent 12–15 hour days by her bedside and through her rehabilitation.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Pamela Jorrrick

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” ~Etty Hillesum

For the second time in a week, the gas light comes on in my car. I’m busy, as usual, and so I push it a little farther, run just a few more errands. But I know that I do need to stop and refill before too long, or I will be left on the side of the road. I’ve been stranded before, and have learned my lesson.

Most of us know that when our cars try to tell us they need something, we had better respond or they won’t get us to our destinations.

We usually have some respect for red warning lights on the dashboard, and at least check out the problem. Unfortunately, it’s not always so easy to see our own signals.

Our bodies and minds don’t come with bright red warning lights, but they do give us signals when they’re running low.

Some of these signals are more obvious than others. When we’re hungry, we might be able to skip a meal occasionally, relying on snacks to get us by, but we all know that at some point, we need to eat real food.

We might be able to miss a few hours of sleep as well, and make it through the next day, but we can’t simply expect our bodies to keep performing without rest.

We may be able to survive in a grumpier and lesser performing fashion when we have less than optimal amounts of food and sleep, but we all know that we can’t skip those needs altogether.

But, what about the other needs that aren’t so obvious? Everyone has probably heard about the benefits of spending some time alone just to think and to gather their own thoughts.

If you work, go to school, have a roommate, spouse or children, this time probably isn’t easy to come by. It’s probably also more important than ever.

Lately, I’ve noticed just how important this need for solitude is to me. As a writer who works at home, as well as a homeschooling mother, I am blessed with lots of time with my family. What I’m lacking severely is time to myself.

Between errands, online college classes, a part-time job, volunteering, and meeting the needs of everyone else, I often end up neglecting my own need for a moment to myself to think, breathe, read, write, draw, paint, or do anything that helps me relax. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Important Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen! You can purchase Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions on Amazon.com. Also, be sure to subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails!

The winners:

• DeniseJane2010
• Cd_at_aspenacres
• Printpopceo

Happy almost 2012!

It’s been an exciting year for Tiny Buddha. For one thing, the community has grown, but what I find most exciting is that the number of people sharing their stories and engaging with other people has increased exponentially.

During the first year, I published two posts from the community per week. In January of 2011, submissions slowed down, and I wondered if perhaps I’d need to take a new direction with the blog.

In February, however that all changed, and posts started coming in so frequently that I was able to publish one per day, and oftentimes had to ask people to hold off on submitting so that I could catch up.

That has remained steady all year, and I’m excited to see that countless insightful, helpful, loving conversations have unfolded in the comments, some which included me and others that did not.

Tiny Buddha is what it is because people are willing to be honest about their experiences, and in doing so help others and let them know they are not alone. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll contribute a post in 2012!

I have learned so much from everyone who has shared themselves here. So here are the top 10 insights of 2011 (based on page views and comments): Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jennifer Marsh

“Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

I believe there are four key aspects to our existence:  mental, physical, spiritual and emotional.  The mind is a fairly straightforward concept, and many people can identify with a spiritual component of life.

Yet there is one other aspect of life that I believe is essential to a full and healthy journey on this planet—the emotional element of living. And that emotional state seems to be inextricably tied to the physical.

I have always struggled with the physical. I’ve had a love-hate relationship with my body since I was cognizant of my existence. As a chubby kid, I felt different and defective. I sought relief in my grandmother’s frozen cool whip in the extra freezer located in our garage.

I gulped down chalky pink Pepto-Bismol when I wasn’t even sick. Why? Because it was sweet.

I couldn’t handle the monkey bars. The ball always hit me in the face. I was always last to finish running around the field at recess.  As I matured, I grew out of the chubbiness but I was never satisfied with my body.

I spent the summer of my 11^th year frantically emulating a 1984-era Richard Simmons in his 7-Minute Abs video and simultaneously saving enough money to buy a McChicken sandwich, fries, and a hot fudge sundae at McDonalds.

Disconnected from my body, I grew into a young woman and ignored my physical existence as best I could; becoming what author Geneen Roth calls a “walking head” with that insufferable body attached. 

I alternated between trying to eat “right,” permitting myself to eat “bad,” and feeling bad about eating bad.  If I ate a salad for lunch, I might have a half-gallon of ice cream for dinner. Alcohol eventually contributed to my lack of self-care, adding extra calories and acting as yet another way to escape my body.

Fast forward through my twenties: After several attempts at Weight Watchers, a failed relationship, a bout with antidepressants, and a nervous breakdown, I managed to lose over 40 pounds with Weight Watchers. Down to the size I wore when I graduated from high school, I was sure my life would get better.

It didn’t. It got worse. So I dyed my hair blond. I drank more wine.

Then I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking cigarettes. I fully embraced sobriety, found a higher power, and earned two master’s degrees. I lost even more weight. Now my life should be perfect, right? 

Wrong. I still can’t live comfortably in my body. And I’m soothing my discontented soul and body with food. Now it’s ice cream (or more specifically, Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked Frozen Yogurt, which has only 3 grams of fat per serving, compared to Peanut Butter Cup ice cream which has 25 grams of fat, so it isn’t that bad).  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Amanda Snow

“Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking our potential.” ~Winston Churchill

I declared myself a mess a long time ago. I lived in a constant, dull state of fear and anxiety. My emotions were more volatile than hurricane season, and not even I could predict how any given situation would affect me.

I may not have known it at the time, but I was miserable. I was trying to be someone I wasn’t and fit into a fast-paced life that I just wasn’t made for.

I was constantly overwhelmed by just about everything—being stuck in traffic, waiting in lines, driving long distances, folding the laundry, working a full day, even doing my hair.

It seemed like life was a struggle and a whole lot of effort that didn’t really get me anywhere.

Apparently overtime, I had conditioned myself to react to the activity and obligations of my life with worry, anxiety, and exponential stress.

I didn’t crave the life I was living. I craved balance. And I lacked passion. Something had to give.

It did, almost by mistake. I found myself poking around Tiny Buddha about a year ago, and the rest was history. Over time I discovered newfound energy by changing my internal perspective on daily living.

I challenged my toxic thoughts and actions and found peace in the present moment.  I uncovered new ways to look at emotions, relationships, and situations in my life.

Instead of continuing to fight it, I made a decision to accept and flow with the monotony, bustle, and pressure of life. I made a list of what was truly important to me instead of living by someone else’s rules. Also, I stopped sabotaging my body with distorted eating habits.

I realized that I was okay, that I was enough, and it was actually pretty cool to be me.

As a result, I feel more settled. I also feel more direction and balance than ever before in my life. I still get wound up, but my lows are nowhere near as low as before. Click Here to Read More…

 Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Britt Bolnick

“You change for two reasons: Either you learn enough that you want to, or you’ve been hurt enough that you have to.” ~Unknown

I learned about boundary work when I was teaching in the NYC jails with male prisoners.

After driving onto a maximum security island of electric, clanging gates, I encountered metal detectors, hallways filled with yelling, chaotic inmates, and tension and anxiety in the air that was almost tangible.

I started my work day tensed up and ended it drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed.

In other areas of my life, the same thing was happening. In my personal relationships, I couldn’t find the edges where I ended and others began. I sometimes felt powerless, unsure of who I was in relationships, and unheard. I wasn’t sure how to change my life, but I knew that I had to.

Because I didn’t set healthy personal boundaries, I was exhausted, I couldn’t focus, and I felt consumed by drama around me, in both my personal and professional lives. As I result, I dealt with a lot of conflict, failed to take care of myself, and generally disliked my work.

Since I knew I loved my work, I took some time to reflect on why my job wasn’t working for me. I then decided to try some experimenting.

I started doing a little boundary and grounding work each morning before I even entered each facility. At the end of each day, before I went home to my baby, I did a short releasing meditation in my car. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jules Clancy

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

As a child, I had no idea that such a concept as vegetarianism even existed, let alone veganism.

Since I grew up on a sheep farm, raising animals and eating them were just what we did.

The sheep, cows, and chickens from my childhood seemed to have pretty happy lives. There was grass to eat and water to drink and space to roam about. The only thing that used to worry me about them was that they’d freeze outside in the winter with no coats on.

It wasn’t until I went to university that I even thought to question whether I should be eating lamb, or beef, or chicken.

Over the years, I’ve come back to the point of view that while I really respect people who choose to be completely vegetarian or vegan, it’s not for me.

As a little experiment, I spent a month being vegetarian last year. While I found I struggled with a completely plant based diet, it did give me some great ideas for how to eat more compassionately by not eating meat every day.

It was quite refreshing to look at my diet with a completely fresh pair of eyes. To be honest, I was surprised how easy was to adapt some of my favorite dishes to suit a meat-free way of eating.

Here are some of the lessons I’ve picked up to help get you started eating more compassionately. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kathryn Britt

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you won’t do anything with it.” ~ M. Scott Peck

Ten years ago, I stopped procrastinating. Lots of procrastination, then zero—overnight. Cold turkey worked for me. Now I hardly ever procrastinate.

Why the sudden change? How did I do it?

Lists and Procrastination

Like many people, I make lists, including to-do lists, reminders, shopping lists, wish lists, and my what-to-do-when-bored list. I completely rely on my lists to keep my life moving along.

My Dad purposefully decided not to make lists. He believed he could maintain his memory better if he didn’t rely on them. Could be true, because he always had a good memory.

Not me, however. I do seem to need lists to remind me about important to-do things. When I write something on a to-do list, I can get it off my mind for now, knowing I’ll have that reminder. So why not just do that important thing now instead of writing it down? Well, sometimes that’s not practical or possible.

But sometimes it is. Sometimes writing a to-do item on a list can actually be an act of procrastination.

Apparently lists and procrastination go hand in hand for some of us. My reason for making lists is to ensure that things get done, yet writing something on a list can also make it easier for me to procrastinate doing it. Once the to-do item is on a list, it’s off my mind—so it might never get done.

There’s something wrong with that picture. Making lists to remember to do things, and then avoiding those lists because of a procrastination problem? A deadly combo in terms of productivity! Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kathryn Britt

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

I used to teach Adult Upgrading. My students were people who had never completed grade school and/or high school. For a variety of reasons, they were now ready to try it again.

New students would say, “I wasn’t ever any good at school.” “I can’t do math.” “I hate fractions.”

It’s my belief that our self-talk is programming ourselves for our statements to be true.

Those students thought they’d been stating the facts, not revealing programmed beliefs.

My work was less about teaching math than it was about coaching them toward a change in their beliefs about themselves.

“I never again want to hear you say you’re not good at math,” I’d say. I’d ask them to switch to “I’m learning math” or “I’m getting better at math” or “I’m working on fractions.”

I’d help them start to notice their own negative self-talk and then transform it into positive statements. “Sure it sounds weird. So humor me,” I’d have to say. “Yes, I know it doesn’t feel like it’s true. Not yet, anyway.” They’d roll their eyes at me.

I’ve read that schools teach fractions before many of our brains are developmentally ready to cope at that conceptual level. I believe this, because I’ve met so many people whose problems in school began around the time fractions were introduced.

Children’s developing self-images are vulnerable. Once children begin to feel stupid about a school subject, the negative self-talk begins. It soon defeats their egos along with their will to learn. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

“We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.” –Adelle Davis

As I mentioned before in my blog post about needing less money, I recently decided to offer barter advertising through Tiny Buddha—meaning I plan to promote products and services I support in exchange for things I need.

This week I started my first barter arrangement with L.O.V.E. Delivery, a company here in Los Angeles that delivers organic produce right to your door.

Before my first shipment arrived two days ago, I actually found myself anticipating its arrival with giddy enthusiasm, like a kid on Christmas.

It was kind of exciting to know I’d be getting a more diverse assortment of produce than I’d purchase in the store; and it would all be naturally produced, fresh, and personally packaged by someone who loves the work he does.

I also appreciated that receiving this food created a sense of mealtime mindfulness that started with the delivery, extended to the preparation, and then culminated with a sense of hyper-awareness while eating. It’s instinctive to savor food when you feel a sense of respect and even awe for it.

I haven’t always felt that way. As a teen and in my early 20s, food was my enemy. I felt happiest when I felt in control of it—meaning I ate a minimal amount of it.

Even after I adopted a healthier attitude toward food, it remained a rival of sorts. All too often, I hurried through the grocery store, piled the cheapest and easiest-to-prepare items in my cart, and then rushed through the acts of cooking and eating, like items to be checked off my to-do list.

Anyone who has traveled internationally knows that many other cultures enjoy the experience of preparing and eating meals far more than most of us do in the United States. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Anél Hamersma

“When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” ~Benjamin Franklin

You know them well.

They pop out of every magazine you open and every billboard you drive by: skinny sixteen year-old models with blemish- and wrinkle-free skin staring blankly back at you. Like they own the place or something.

If you don’t have their complexion and shape you probably wince the same way I do when you see them splattered on that advertising campaign. Youth is where it’s at in the twenty first century.  We’re told it’s desirable and that we should want it—and inevitably, many of us do.

On any given weekday you will find perfectly sane women trampling each other to get to wildly over-priced beauty-products (read: the same ones advertised on that billboard you drove by earlier) at our handy local beauty store.

Then we head on over to the gym where we run, lift weights, and cycle ourselves till within an inch of our lives before jetting off home to soak our faces in that New!Magic!Serum! (read: fetuses liquidized with rat tails and just a dash of pigs foot and perfume to cover it all up).

And rinse and repeat.

Inevitably, one sunny morning just before your (please insert) birthday, you look into the mirror and see a line cracking down like the crater of doom from the corner of your eye towards your slightly saggy cheek.

Don’t hyperventilate.  I’m here to deliver the good news:

You don’t really want to be young again!

You might as well wish you were Santa Claus or Oprah. It’s never going to happen. Besides, you had to sit through puberty and all that to get where you are now, and I’m guessing you’re probably quite happy to be here.

You might enjoy the notion of being youthful instead, because that’s a completely different thing, you see. In fact, that’s something you can actually achieve. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Cat Li Stevenson

“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmann

Last year, I realized that I lived 28 years without knowing what it really means to love and take care of myself.

In 2010, I took some wonderful, worldly trips—Costa Rica, Bangkok, Taipei—trekking and exploring.

My husband and I bought a second home. I fully engaged myself in the improvements, and the creativity of decorating a fresh canvas.

I ran several races, including a half-marathon, and finished well. I joined a swanky health and fitness club where I could take trendy aerobic classes. I was “taking good care of myself.”

Life was good. I worked hard, I played hard. The end. That was the story I projected.

But it was hardly that simple or fabulous.

There was a whole lot of turbulence in my life that I was trying to fix externally: Click Here to Read More…