“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.” ~Tony Gaskins
I highly value being loyal, honest, empathetic, and supportive. I am also partial to advocating for the underdog. As a result, I have historically attempted to be a ‘hero’ in situations of difficulty, tension, conflict, or stress.… Read More
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou
Have you ever been the recipient of put-downs, snide remarks, or hostile language?
If you have, your confidence may have suffered a significant nosedive.
I once attended a summer music camp for young musicians. I was studying the piano and enjoyed playing classical music, but I always had a deep fear of performing in front of others, especially other highly skilled musicians.… Read More
“True closeness respects each other’s space.” ~Angelica Hopes
It was a Friday, the workweek had ended, and I was excited for my boyfriend to come home. (Okay, I’m talking about an ex-boyfriend—these steps took me time to implement…)
I’d gone grocery shopping and had two steaks to grill, with asparagus and a bottle of wine chilled.… Read More
“Identify one supportive phrase you wish you heard more growing up. Every time you pass by a mirror today, look at yourself and say that.” ~from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges
When I was a kid, an authority figure once told me, “If I was your age, I wouldn’t be your friend.”
I tried to act like I didn’t care so I wouldn’t give that person the satisfaction of knowing how deeply they hurt me.… Read More
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou
I remember first hearing these words in my early twenties. I heard them. I just didn’t follow them. Hence, I brought myself a whole lot of painful lessons and needless suffering because I always wanted to give people a second chance, and a third, and a fourth … You get the picture.… Read More
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” ~Buddha
We all want to be liked. It’s programmed into our DNA and throughout our lives the message is drummed into us loud and clear: put other people first, don’t blow your own horn, and above all, never be selfish.… Read More
“If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you’d want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So don’t be afraid. Be alive.” ~Sarah Dessen
It was beginning to get dark. Lightning streaked across the cloudy sky above the ocean.… Read More
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s not about you. It’s about them. It’s their loss. Don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean anything.
Well-intentioned people have told me these things many times to soften the blow of rejection. And I wanted so badly to believe them, but how could I?… Read More
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer
Do you feel it too?
That discomfort rising inside when someone imparts their clever wit on you. Not just any kind of wisdom, but the one that makes you feel small, in a here-you-go, punch-to-the-stomach kind of way.… Read More
“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” ~Ram Dass
I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law.
It was great. We get along well and have fun together.… Read More
“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie
I’m short. I’m stumpy. My nose looks like a pig’s. My inner thighs touch when I walk. My gums show too much when I talk. I have to change the way I look. Maybe then you’ll like me.
I obsess.… Read More
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put it back together.” ~Unknown
Human beings are genetically programmed to desire love. Embraces are as important to us as food and water.
Perhaps that’s why when we find someone—the wrong someone—we’re often too blind to see it.… Read More
“When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” ~Maya Angelou
After having been a rebound girl the summer of 2013, I swore I would never get involved with another emotionally unavailable man who had baggage and was a poor communicator.
I thought I was a pro at all of the tell tale signs.… Read More
“Watch for big problems. They disguise big opportunities.” ~Ritu Ghatourey
After many years of being the “dumper” in the relationship, I then spent many years being the “dumpee.”
Even after I had worked through all of that karma that I had instilled upon myself, when it came time for my last break-up, it was finally a mutual decision.… Read More
I started working in the food industry when I was just twelve years old.
I couldn’t drive, stay out past 11:00pm, or do algebra, but I could easily fill a bag with bagels at a business owned by a close family friend. And so I did, every weekend.
It was a simple job, working the dozen counter.… Read More
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~Mother Teresa
I kept thinking about how many years had passed by. Did I really waste four years by not contacting my best friend?
You see, I had a falling out with my close cousin. Growing up together since childhood, we became best friends—more like brothers through the years.… Read More
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown
Growing up I experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I would be on top of the world and the next I felt overwhelmed by anxiety. I didn’t know how to share my difficult emotions in a healthy way with my friends and family, so I started suppressing them instead.… Read More
“The day you stop racing is the day you win the race.” ~Bob Marley
Let me take you back to the beginning of my day, how I used to do it.
Flicking through my Facebook newsfeed, clicking on profiles, scrolling through comments, monitoring social interactions, checking how many likes my last post or profile picture got.… Read More
”Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.” ~Unknown
A couple weeks back I had what Alexander would call a no good, terrible, very bad day.
I’d slept poorly the night before—possibly because I had caffeine, which I usually avoid, somewhat late in the day, and possibly because I have a toddler-sized bladder that doesn’t seem to understand or care about REM cycles.… Read More