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Category “love & relationships”

Couple Parting

When You Love an Addict: Stop Enabling and Help Yourself

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ~Ann Landers

I fell in love for better or worse. First came the better and then the worst.… Read More

Man with Arms Raised

5 Crippling Lies About Forgiveness (and the Truths That Set You Free)

“Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim.” ~C.R. Strahan

It’s not fair, is it?

Getting hurt. All over again.

It wasn’t so bad forgiving them the first time. You rose to the occasion.… Read More

Sad Woman

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

“Love yourself—accept yourself—forgive yourself—and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.” ~Leo F. Buscaglia

In 2009 I traveled to Perth, Western Australia, to further my education. Little did I know how much my life would change.

I befriended lots of people and met a tall, gorgeous man from South Asia.… Read More

Mistrust

You Can Still Trust Even If You’ve Been Deceived

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” ~Frank Crane

“Ah, it is difficult to trust people nowadays!” Heard that one lately?

The implication is that trust is something you receive and that everyone else controls it and can give it.… Read More

Couple Holding Hands

Why People Who Feel Complete on Their Own Have Stronger Relationships

“Self love, self respect, self worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown

One day, somewhere around the age of twenty-seven, with a rich background of long-term relationships, dating, alone time, and searching for the man who would complete me, it hit me.… Read More

Unhappy Couple

Change Your Patterns and Stop Sabotaging Relationships

“Jealousy is nothing more than a fear of abandonment.” ~Unknown

My biggest relationship fear used to be getting dumped for another woman.

If it actually happened, it was going to be the ultimate proof of my worthlessness.

It wasn’t easy to live with that fear. When it came to conjuring up scenarios of loss and pain, I was like a rag doll in the hands of my imagination.… Read More

No

Saying Yes When We Mean No: How to Break the Habit

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” ~Josh Billings

Have you ever encountered a situation where you found yourself agreeing to do something that you had no interest in actually doing?

When we find ourselves saying yes when we mean no, we are essentially saying no to ourselves and giving our personal power away.… Read More

Judgment Image

When People Judge: Why It’s Not Really About You

“Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.” ~Nancy Lopez

You and I, we judge others. And they judge us. We all do it.… Read More

Strong, Confident Woman

7 Lessons to Learn If You Want to Thrive in Life

“Embrace each challenge in your life as an opportunity for self-transformation.” ~Bernie S. Siegel

I’d been having mild pain for about a week—a consistent, dull ache in the center of my chest.

I’m thirty-nine years old with no personal history of heart disease, or of anything else for that matter. Worry hadn’t yet consumed me, but I was keeping an eye on the pain to see if it got better or worse.… Read More

Heartbreak

Breaking Free from the Pain of Heartbreak

By

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

Heartbreak. I have never felt anything as torturous.

It’s been just over a year since my first real heartbreak, and finally, after more pain and tears than I can describe, I have started to move on.… Read More

Finger Art Couple

Choose to Be Kind When It’s Easier to Be Snarky

“Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.” ~Ben Franklin

While I was pregnant, a friend told me to prioritize, in this order: self, marriage, kids.

My priorities tend to be backward: kids above all else, maybe a date night once in a while, and self-care only when there’s an important meeting at work, so momma finally makes a point of grooming her eyebrows.… Read More

Man with Arms Up in the Air

Embrace Who You Are (Not What People Expect You to Be)

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

Now that the fog of what everyone else wanted for me has lifted, it seems so clear to me that we need to be who we truly are—not what society expects us to be.… Read More

Calm Man

The Secret to Replacing Agitation with Calmness

“Calmness is the cradle of power.” ~Josiah Gilbert Holland

I was interested, recently, to find that our local supermarket had set up an area with ten self-service checkouts. For years I‘d accepted the normal method of bagging and paying for my stuff. No stress there. But they’d installed some new technology and I was keen to give it a try.… Read More

Fairy Tale

Fairy Tale Endings Don’t Exist (but Real Love Can Be Better)

“You cannot live with expectations because life has no obligation to fulfill your desires. You can live with an open heart, but you cannot live with expectations.” ~Osho

Will you marry me?

These four life-changing words have been haunting me for a while. Like many other girls in long-term relationships, I waited anxiously for the day I’d get to say yes.… Read More

Kindness

Being Kind to Others Is Being Kind to Yourself

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~John Holmes

I moved to Vermont to work at a ski lodge the day after I turned twenty-two.

I had finished college six months earlier; September 11th had made finding a “real” job in my field pretty much impossible, and I was ready for adventure.… Read More

Heart Eyes

The Difference Between True Love and Love Addiction

“We often say ‘love’ when we really mean, and are acting out, an addiction—a sterile, ingrown dependency relationship, with another person serving as the object of our need for security.” ~Stanton Peele

When I was sixteen, I fell in love. At least I thought I did. I had all the symptoms—quickened pulse, butterflies, and a head so full of him that all my pain and all my problems magically disappeared when we were together.… Read More

Toxic Relationship

5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ~Henry Ford

A few days ago, a close friend called me and asked for advice on whether he should end a toxic relationship with his ex-girlfriend. He still loved her as a human being, but he felt that she was using him for her own personal needs, such as a ride from the airport, and did not truly care about his well-being.… Read More

Smiling Woman

You Have Value (and You Can Be Happy) Regardless of Your Relationship Status

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

Relationships give us the opportunity to learn about ourselves though identifying with another. I’ll be the first one to admit that some of my relationships didn’t end on ideal terms. I’ve managed to stay in touch with a few partners over the years, but for the most part, they’ve fallen to the wayside.… Read More

Love

The Key to Loving Yourself, Other People, and Life

“Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone?” ~Anthony De Mello

I was sitting in my therapist’s waiting room when I looked over at an assortment of books sitting on the coffee table. One caught my attention right away: The Way to Love, by Anthony de Mello.… Read More

Hopeless Man

What to Do When You’re in Pain and Need Help

“All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.Read More

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