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Category “love & relationships”

Conversation

Why We Talk More Than We Listen and What We Gain When We Stop

“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” – Brene Brown

I like to talk. A lot.

It’s how I get ideas and work through concepts I’m not quite clear on. It’s how I get myself motivated or calm myself down.

If you let me, I would probably talk your ear off all day.… Read More

Love

When You Want More Love and Support in Relationships

“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown

For years, I felt unfulfilled in my relationships. I often felt drained, and as if I was the only one giving and doing things for others.

I couldn’t quite understand what I was doing wrong and why relationships were so challenging for me.… Read More

Accept Yourself

When You Don’t Fit In: The Value of Being Different

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

When I was ten, my blonde, blue-eyed best friend gave me a label.

“I never thought I’d make friends with anyone brown,” she said. She was clearly embarrassed by her revelation and had summoned the courage to own up.… Read More

Caregiver

Addicted to Helping: Why We Need to Stop Trying to Fix People

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron

After college, I was hustling hard to get a work visa so that I could stay in the US.

But then my mom got caught up in a political scandal, and without much reflection on how much this would alter my life’s plans, I dropped my dream of staying in America, drove 1,000 miles, and flew another 500 to be by her side.… Read More

Man at the Ocean

Dealing With Criticism: 5 Tools to Develop a Thick Skin

“When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~Miguel Ruiz

Have you ever opened a spring-loaded email? You know, the kind with a nasty barb inside that hits you like a punch in the gut?

My business partner and I had recently launched our new podcast, and he had forwarded me an email he’d received from a viewer.… Read More

Heart with Hands

What Self-Love Means: 20+ Ways to Be Good to Yourself

“Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.” ~Caroline Kirk

If one more person told me to go love myself I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.… Read More

Happy Couple

The Secret Recipe for a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” ~Unknown

Things changed. You can’t put your finger on it, but you know it’s true. You wish you could make it better. You want to fix it.

The problem is that you don’t know how.… Read More

tb-love-pos-2t

Be Part of the Next Tiny Buddha Book: 365 Tiny Love Challenges

When I started this site in 2009, after struggling for over a decade with depression, bulimia, and shame-induced isolation, I hoped it would be a place where we could all feel less alone with our struggles and more empowered to overcome them. I’m beyond thrilled to see that’s just what Tiny Buddha has become.… Read More

Kind Kid

10 Ways to Make the World a Nicer Place

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept responsibility for changing them.” ~Denis Waitley  

I was spending some time with my nephews not too long ago. This is one of my favorite things to do because we have a lot of fun together. They’re silly and loving and inquisitive, and it’s easy to make them laugh.… Read More

Conversation

How to Share Your Feelings and Be Heard

The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Not so long ago, a dear friend of mine approached me wishing to be heard for some overwhelming grief and anger she was carrying.

I gave her my full ear and attention, but as I listened to her, I noticed a worry begin to stir inside me—a worry surfacing around a great deal of violent intent I heard in her words.… Read More

Rejected

How to Overcome the Pain of Rejection

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker 

Hearing this word probably makes you think of not being good enough or not reaching certain standards. As unpleasant as it is, rejection is part of life, and my life is no exception.… Read More

Argument

The Most Powerful Way to Resolve Conflicts in Relationships

“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield

I was all set to float effortlessly through life on a cloud of peace. I was trained mediator, had a Masters Degree in Peace Education, led workshops on constructively managing conflicts, and had a lifelong interest in creating interpersonal understanding.… Read More

Speak Up

Learning to Speak Up: You Deserve to Meet Your Needs

“Ask for what you want. Give other people the opportunity to say ‘yes.’ Stop saying ‘no’ for them. “ ~Roger Ellerton

I never realized until very recently exactly how hard it’s been for me to speak up for my needs. To ask for what I require and want. I honestly don’t know how I’ve navigated through life.… Read More

sad

How to Stop Hurting When You Feel Like You’ve Been Wronged

“At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.” ~Christine Mason Miller

Several months ago, my partner’s father (we’ll call him D) verbally attacked me. A couple weeks later, it happened again, except this time it was more aggressive and more personal.… Read More

Sunset

Getting Back Out There Following the End of a Relationship

“Don’t let past relationships ruin your future happiness. Scars remind us of where we’ve been, not where we are going.” ~Unknown

I believe that the breakdown of relationships can lead to some of the most powerful lessons we learn in life.

When someone who we’ve been close to suddenly steps out of our lives, it can leave a huge emotional void.… Read More

Healing

How Forgiveness Enables Us to Stop Hurting Ourselves

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

I was planning a seminar event with one of my good friends. (Let’s call her “Randi.”) It was a great match; she had event planning and design expertise, and great energy in front of an audience.… Read More

Talking

A Simple Way to Avoid Hurting Other People

“Don’t let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~Dalai Lama

The most straightforward advice I can suggest to make real concrete changes in your life is to practice causing no harm to anyone—yourself or others.

Try it for a day. Or two. How about a week? You will probably find that it’s harder than you think.… Read More

Sad and alone

Dealing with Bullies and Hurtful People: 4 Coping Techniques

“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown

I went to boarding school at the age of nine, and I soon became the victim of bullies. I was pathologically shy, very sensitive, and cried easily. I was also clever, bad at sports, and wore glasses.

We weren’t allowed many toys, but I had three frogs, made of shiny brightly colored material, and stuffed with wheat.… Read More

Let Go

Let Go of Regret by Making a Promise to Yourself

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

Regret can be such a paralyzing emotion, yet it is also universal. At some point in our lives, in one way or another, we each wrestle with regret.

Regret seems to rear its ugly head most when it comes to relationships.… Read More

Orange Sky

Learn to Love Yourself by Doing Something Good for Yourself

By

TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~BrenéBrown 

I was happiest when I didn’t know my weight and that was ironically when I was at my heaviest, which was in high school.… Read More

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