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Category “love & relationships”

At Peace

A Mindful Way to Find Relief from the Pain of Envy

“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Envy is such an overpowering and overwhelming feeling, often something hidden, or masked by a smiley face, or fuelled into rage and resentment. I’ve experienced all of these emotions in my life, and as I neared my fortieth birthday, I felt that I could not go on.… Read More

Woman with arms open

From Loathing to Love: What Makes Us Feel Worthwhile

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown 

My healing journey can be described through what I call the “self formula”:

Self-Doubt > Self-Loathing > Self-Destruction > Self-Awareness > Self-Love

Mine is the oldest story in the book. Adolescent angst.… Read More

Breaking Up

When We Try to Change Others and Avoid Ourselves

“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.”~Jim Rohn

This is indeed a fact—a fact that took me a very long time to learn.

You may argue that we help each other change, and it’s true. But the deepest truth is that only we are responsible for our own growth.… Read More

Open Up to Love

How to Heal from Heartbreak and Allow Love into Your Life

By

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

Love terrifies me.

After having loved, courted, and married the love of my life, things went sour. Over the course of a few years, our marriage crumbled and our relationship came to a sudden halt.

When you’ve only been with one person, loved that person to the core, and believed that person to be your soul mate, you take the break-up unusually hard.… Read More

Argument

Why Conflict Isn’t Bad (and How to Make It Easier)

“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” ~Max Lucade 

I used to do everything I could to avoid having conversations that could potentially be challenging or difficult—even resorting to lying or obfuscation if I really felt backed into a corner.

I didn’t have a good template for what healthy conflict looked like, so every challenging conversation felt like a minefield where I could be attacked, blamed, or shamed at any moment.… Read More

Disappointed Man

The Zen of Friends: 5 Tips for When You Feel Seriously Let Down

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Has this ever happened to you?

Something happens, some kerfuffle or other, like sickness, loss, or unexpected change. And just when you need it most, a friend—whom you considered true and dear—doesn’t stand by you.

You feel betrayed.… Read More

Rejection

Why People Reject Us and What We Can Do About It

“When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ~Viktor Frankl

There’s probably no worse feeling in life than the feeling of being rejected. Whether it’s from the opposite sex, a friend or family member, or co-workers, the feeling that our presence is not wanted or no longer welcomed can cause us to feel hurt and become defensive.… Read More

Happy Woman

Setting Strong Boundaries: Overcome The Need To Say “Yes” All the Time

“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” ~Sogyal Rinpoche

Just a few short years ago, I would have relished in being called a “yes person.”

I loved that label. I thought it made me approachable, helpful, and charitable, and I loved being “top of mind” for so many people and wonderful opportunities.… Read More

Happy Couple

5 Tips to Create a Loving Relationship With Fewer Disappointments

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

Have you ever felt less about a relationship when it didn’t exactly pan out like a fairy tale? I sure did.

I had it stuck in my mind that a great relationship should be picture perfect.

When reality would give me a sobering slap showing it was far from perfect, I would walk away from a relationship that refused to meet my standards.… Read More

Happy Woman

Healing from Heartbreak and Loving Life, No Matter Your “Status”

“Getting over a past relationship is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

I recently stumbled into a clothing store where everything was full of life and color, until I saw the sales clerk.

She had obviously been crying. I perused the merchandise and hesitatingly asked her a question about an item.… Read More

Frustrated Woman

How to Quit or Move On Without Feeling Guilty

“Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong–sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

When I accepted a position with a small company, I thought I had found everything I wanted: challenging work in my field, flexible hours, laid-back atmosphere, and a short commute.

My new job seemed to be perfect, but soon I realized it wasn’t.… Read More

Love

Are You Frustrated in Your Search for True, Unconditional Love?

“Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

Have you ever wondered if there is such a thing as true love, like in the good old movies of Casablanca or The Notebook? Maybe you’ve found your true love.… Read More

Woman Thinking

The Most Important Thing to Ask Yourself After a Break-Up

“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum

Divorce. Not an activity that I ever had on my to-do list and not something I contemplated when I got engaged in Paris. Who does?

We’ve all heard the statistics that one in three marriages ends in divorce.… Read More

Woman Thinking

How Painful Relationships Can Be The Best Teachers

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

“This is it,” I thought. I finally found the man I had been waiting for.

Of course, it had taken me thirty-nine years and a painful divorce from my husband of ten years. But that was all worth it, I told myself, because it had led me to the man who seemed to see, understand, and love me the way I had always hoped someone would.… Read More

Break Up

3 Signs It’s Time to Break Up

“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There was an incessant doubt deep inside that wouldn’t subside. It followed me everywhere—through the good times and the rough times.

By “good,” I mean things were okay. They were never great, ecstatic, wildly passionate, and deeply connected.

I tried to escape it, block it out, ignore it, and pretend this nagging feeling would eventually disappear.… Read More

Sad Woman

How To Respond When Someone Takes Advantage of You

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Several months ago, I moved into a new house. During the inspection of my old house, I was expecting to receive my whole security deposit back.

I didn’t.… Read More

Self Forgiveness

How to Let Go of Guilt and Regret and Forgive Yourself

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boes

In October of 2010 I was engaged after only three weeks of dating. I was scared to tell my family but I was terrified to tell my father. My parents divorced when I was five and I couldn’t spend weekends at Dad’s because he lived thousands of miles away.… Read More

Couple Back to Back

Healing from Heartbreak: How to Lessen the Pain

To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over.” ~Mandy Hale

Heartbreak. It’s a hard thing to go through. And the pain—it’s real, isn’t it? Like tangible pain.… Read More

Woman Breathing Deeply

How to Use Your Anger to Help Yourself

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung

I’ve experienced many degrees of anger throughout my life.

There’s the fleeting and mild kind of anger that hit me when I realized I forgot to pack my toothbrush, or when a friend was tardy again for our morning hike.… Read More

Forgiveness

How Understanding Can Lead to Forgiveness and Fulfillment

“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” ~John Green

I remember growing up in a lonely home. My parents were distant, and it seemed they didn’t care much about me. Their lives were all about them, so I didn’t care much about them.

My sister and I hated Christmas and New Year’s Eve because we never got any gifts or toys during that period.… Read More

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