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Category “love & relationships”

What Happens When We Assume the Worst of People We Love

“Before you assume, learn. Before you judge, understand. Before you hurt, feel. Before you say, think.” ~Unknown

There we were on a Saturday afternoon doing such benign things as running errands at Costco, Trader Joes, and the post office. Excitement …

I Hear You: A Must-Read Book for Stronger, Happier Relationships

Have you ever felt like someone was listening to you but not really hearing you—or worse, not even fully listening?

Maybe they were more looking through you than at you, just kind of zoning out, all the while nodding, as …

Being Shy Made Me Strong, and It Can Do the Same for You

“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak.” ~Unknown

This quote seems counterintuitive, right?

For many years, I, too, scoffed at the idea.

Having dealt with crippling shyness throughout my life, I know firsthand what it’s like to …

I Thought It Was Love, But It Was Actually Abuse

“Alone doesn’t always mean lonely. Relationship doesn’t always mean happy. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as being in the wrong relationship.” ~Unknown

I don’t know if it’s the conditioning of Disney movies that makes every young girl …

How to Free Yourself from Your Spiritual Drama

“You have no friends. You have no enemies. You only have teachers.” ~Ancient Proverb

My very wise aunt, a talented psychotherapist and one of my spiritual teachers, has told me many times that the people, places, and things that trigger …

The Power of Saying No (Even to People You Love)

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

“Yes, of course…”

“Yes, that’s no trouble at all…”

“Yes, I can do that…”

“Yes, I’d love to help…”

Yes, yes, yes. “Yes” …

Love Doesn’t Mean Being a Hero or Being Saved

Most of us grow up believing that one day a handsome prince or beautiful princess will come our way and lead us into a life of “happily ever after.” No one knows what’s going to happen, but we’re certain it …

Why I Now Complain Less and Appreciate More

 “It is not happy people who are thankful. It is thankful people who are happy.” ~Unknown

I used to be a complainer, a fault-finder, a grumbler. I would grumble a hundred times a day about mundane issues, be it the …

My Life Will Be My Message

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” ~Gautama Buddha

I have meditated for over half my life. It didn’t always look …

How to Fight Well in Your Relationship

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” ~Rumi

I had one of those really intense arguments with my partner recently, and it made me realize the importance of knowing how to fight well …

Confrontation Can Be Hard, But It’s Worth It

“When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” ~Fred Rogers

I was immediately uncomfortable when the older gentleman rode up on his bike and loudly told us that our kids shouldn’t be …

Why I’m Trying Harder to Be Kind to Strangers

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~Leo Buscaglia

From …

When Someone You Love Is Grieving: How to Really Help

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with

Why My Abuse Is No Longer a Secret

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” ~Anne Lamott

To say I had a tough life would be a gross understatement. Growing up …

The Best Thing to Say to Someone Who Won’t Understand You

“True love is born from understanding.” ~Buddha

I believe one of our strongest desires in life is to feel understood.

We want to know that people see our good intentions and not only get where we’re coming from but get …

From the Spouse of a Narcissist: Here’s What You Need to Know

By

“You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone.” ~Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as

Why Speaking My Truth Is the Cornerstone of My Recovery

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” ~Kim McMillen

I like to …

Why My Grandfather Was Happy Even When He Was Dying

“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins

Is there anyone in your past that inspired you to become the person you are today? For me, that …

How I’m Mothering the Wounded Kid Inside Who Just Wanted Love

“Bless the daughters who sat carrying the trauma of mothers. Who sat asking for more love and not getting any, carried themselves to light. Bless the daughters who raised themselves.” ~Questions for Ada by Ijeoma Umebinyuo

“I failed you…”

My …

How to Recognize Painful Emotional Triggers and Stop Reacting in Anger

“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

There I was again, regretting the spiteful words that had cascaded out of my mouth during a heated argument with my partner.

I felt that old familiar feeling, …