People-pleasing, overhelping, overgiving—we can give it lots of different names, but the consequences to putting yourself last all the time are generally the same.
You may have been raised to see giving and helping as virtuous things. And hear me …
“Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.” ~Langston Hughes
Nine years ago, I was sitting mindlessly in my office cubicle in Omaha, Nebraska, when the receptionist called …
“The reality is that you will grieve forever.” ~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler
March is always hard for me. Has been since March 21, 2017. That’s the day my eldest son, then twenty-seven, found his father hanging in our basement. …
“Ask for help. Not because you are weak. But because you want to remain strong.” ~Les Brown
I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting—linen gown hanging off me, half exposed—while going through the checklist in my mind of what I …
“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown
The honest truth about needing to please is that we do it to make other people happy. We will sacrifice everything …
“Life has to end, love doesn’t.” ~Mitch Albom
Before we dive into the dark subject of death, let me assure you, this is a happy read. It is not about how losing a loved one is a blessing but how …
Last week I ran a giveaway for Brad Aronson’s HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act at a Time—a heartwarming book that highlights ordinary people doing extraordinary things and offers practical tips for everyday kindness.
I had ten books …
“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people …
A while back I shared a quote by an unknown author that reads:
“You know who’s going through a lot right now? Literally everyone. Just be kind.”
It got me thinking about all the struggles we assume other people don’t …
“Why are you so enchanted by this world, when a mine of gold lies within you?” ~Rumi
Happiness, love, and joy—we spend our lives in search of them. We often look to external things to fulfill our desire to …
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
“You’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of being in love.”
Ouch!
Kate (not her real name) and I …
“It’s not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” ~Tony Robbins
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Wow. That one takes me waaay …
“Why don’t you get up and make the coffee, while I stay in my sleeping bag and plan our ascent route?” I half-heartedly ask my climbing partner Hank.
He just looks at me with that unassuming, “give-me-a-break Val Jon” look …
“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” ~Unknown
Why is it so hard to say no? The uncomfortable buildup of emotion I felt while contemplating dropping the ‘n’ word used to have me …
“We need to grieve the ones we’ve lost—not to sustain our connection to suffering, but to sustain our connection to love.” ~Jennifer Williamson
Ken was only forty-seven years old when he met his untimely death.
It was surreal, my …
“Avoiding certain people to protect your emotional health is not weakness. It is wisdom.” ~Unknown
The word “boundary” often conjures up negative thoughts. After all, it’s usually an indication of something being restricted.
However, deciding to set boundaries is one …
“A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing. She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself and herself only.” ~Maya Angelou
For as long as I can remember, …
“It’s very easy to judge. It’s much more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods.” ~Doe Zantamata
In the past, judgments kept me safe. They reassured me that …
“If I had the chance I’d ask the world to dance, but I’d be dancing with myself.” ~Billy idol
Spending long periods of time alone—as I’ve done while traveling solo over the past year—is an eye-opening experience.
Without the distractions …
“Overthinking ruins you. It ruins the situation. And it twists things around. It makes you worry. Plus, it just makes everything worse than it actually is.” ~Karen Salmansohn
I grew up with parents who believed a kid shouldn’t have friends …
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