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Posts by Alyssa Zander

Alyssa Zander is a codependency and relationship coach and creator of Codependency Alchemy—a podcast and thriving community on Substack—where she supports people in healing from codependency through shadow work and inner child healing. Join her community for deeper insights and support by clicking here. To begin your own journey of healing from codependency and learn how your inner child and shadow work can transform your relationships, download her free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide here.

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5 Hidden Ways Codependency Is Sabotaging Your Relationships

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“We rescue people from their responsibilities. We take care of people’s responsibilities for them. Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done. Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves. That is the pattern, the triangle.” ~ Melody Beattie

I first uncovered codependency and how it was ruining my relationships back in 2019 after ending my relationship of four years.

At the time, I didn’t know the first thing about myself—except that I didn’t know myself at all. I had no idea what I needed or desired. All I knew was that I hated being alone and longed …