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Posts by KJ Hutchings

KJ Hutchings is a fiction and self-help writer and artist. Visit her site kjhutchings.com to get 25% off any artwork in her online shop, free fiction and regular updates. You can also find her on Facebook and Instagram.

KJ Hutchings's Website

4 Fears That Create People-Pleasers and How to Ease Them

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“It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often the membership fee to belong to that club is far too high of a price to pay.” ~Dennis Merritt Jones

Like a lot of people, I grew up putting others’ needs and wants first. I learned early that doing things for other people and accommodating their wishes gained me attention and approval. It was only in those moments that I felt good enough and deserving of love.

As a child, I liked nothing more than feeling indispensable and being told I was a good and …

Hurt by Negative People? How to Stop Taking Things Personally

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“Some people are in such utter darkness that they will burn you just to see a light. Try not to take it personally.” ~Kamand Kojouri

The saying goes that money makes the world go round, but of course that’s not true.

It’s our relationships.

How we relate to other people and how they relate to us keeps our world turning. When things go well, all’s right with our world. When things go badly, it can feel as though our world has ground to a halt.

This is exactly how I felt whenever I had a difficult experience with a …

What to Do If You’re Often Annoyed with the People You Love

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“When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another—and ourselves.” ~Jack Kornfield

The quality of our relationships has a massive impact on our levels of happiness and well-being.

Nurturing our relationships requires time, attention, and effort. But it’s all too easy to become sidetracked and complacent, and to stop appreciating and truly connecting with those closest to us. Often, we feel we are simply too busy to focus on how we can improve the situation. Life seems to get in the way.

Like everyone else I’ve experienced plenty of ups …

10 Things You Need to Know to Have a Strong, Happy Relationship

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“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” ~Ernest Hemingway

When I was in my early twenties, I was in a relationship with a man who abused me emotionally and psychologically for many months.

It turned out I was his first serious relationship, and this had often made him feel overwhelmed and insecure. He didn’t feel “good enough” for me or deserving of my love. Ironically, we’d both suffered from low self-esteem but had shown it in completely different ways.

During my time with him …

The Power of Saying No (Even to People You Love)

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“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

“Yes, of course.”

“Yes, that’s no trouble at all.”

“Yes, I can do that.”

“Yes, I’d love to help.”

Yes, yes, yes. “Yes” seemed to be the key word in my relationships with partners, family, friends, and colleagues.

I wanted to be helpful, kind, and thoughtful; I wanted to be there when people needed me. I didn’t want to let them down or disappoint or displease them. I spent a lot of my time devoted to my self-image as a capable, nice …