Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal, Tiny Buddha's Worry Journal, and Tiny Buddha's Inner Strength Journal and co-founder of Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. For daily wisdom, join the Tiny Buddha list here. You can also follow Tiny Buddha on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Lori Deschene's Website

Tiny Wisdom: Choosing to Create Happiness

“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” ~Aristotle

Yesterday I wrote at Starbucks for the first time since my surgery, after my doctor cleared me to walk.

I felt an immense sense of relief to be outside my home, where I didn’t feel quite so isolated. And I was grateful for every nuance of that day—the fresh air, the feeling of life going around me, and the sense that somehow, I was part of it.

But the walk wasn’t easy. I get winded pretty quickly right now, and I simply don’t have a lot of energy.

I don’t yet feel like myself, mentally …

Tiny Wisdom: Believe That You Are Strong

“The human spirit is stronger than anything that could happen to it.” ~C. C. Scott

During these past couple of weeks, while I’ve been recovering from my surgery, I’ve been watching a show called I Shouldn’t Be Alive, which has an entire season on Netflix.

Each episode chronicles the experiences of a person or people who came close to death in an adventure gone wrong.

One episode features two teenage boys who survived in a tiny boat, without food or water, for several days lost at sea. Another tells the story of an endurance athlete who survived two freezing nights …

Tiny Wisdom: Peace Is Accepting This Moment

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

Yesterday I felt frustrated.

The night before, I’d overheard my boyfriend telling a friend he’d thought I’d be in less pain at that point, a week after my surgery. Suddenly I felt disappointed in myself—that I should be healing more quickly, or somehow doing more.

Of course I know he didn’t intend for me to feel that way, especially since it was a conversation that didn’t involve me, but I created that meaning in my head, probably because I’d also expected that I’d feel better sooner.

I had a bad headache …

Tiny Wisdom: Relaxing into Chaos

“In chaos, there is fertility.” ~Anais Nin

I am someone who strives to maintain some sense of control amid chaos. One way I do that is by obsessively organizing my space.

For example, there can only be four pairs of shoes left by the downstairs door, in a place where exactly four fit—and they need to be lined up neatly to look like tiny foot soldiers, standing at attention.

During my third day recovering from surgery last week, while I lowered myself in a squat to pick up a fifth pair that didn’t belong, my mother reminded me how I …

Tiny Wisdom: What It Means to Live the Dream

The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” ~Carl Rogers

Have you ever felt a sense of internal conflict about enjoying the present moment while also working toward your dreams?

This is something I revisit over and over, because I know life happens now, and in order to fully live it, I need to accept what’s in front of me and experience it with complete awareness.

Yet I also want to expand, spread my wings, and see just how far I can soar.

A big part of that …

It’s Okay to Ask for Love

“Human life runs its course in the metamorphosis between receiving and giving.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This past week I simultaneously experienced some of the strongest physical pain and immense joy I have ever experienced. While the former has everything to do with the six-inch incision in my abdomen, the latter revolves around a number of lessons about willfully receiving.

As I wrote last week, I had my myomectomy surgery on Tuesday to remove a soccer ball-sized growth in my uterus. On Monday, it occurred to me I’d appreciate reading uplifting notes from the community, but a part of …

A Tiny Request for You While I’m in the Hospital

Happy Tuesday friends! As you may already know from reading my recent posts, today is the day of my myomectomy surgery.

I decided not to publish a guest post today, since I will not be around to share it on the Tiny Buddha social media pages, moderate comments, or respond to emails. Instead, I decided to re-publish a post from 2010 that you may not have read, called 50 Things to Love About Life That Are Free. I hope you enjoy it!

I will be in the hospital until Thursday or Friday, though I will likely be working toward …

50 Things to Love about Life That Are Free

“If we look at the world with a love of life, the world will reveal its beauty to us.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

If you asked an eight-year-old version of me to list all the things I loved, it might have looked something like this:

  • Ice cream
  • Swings
  • Snow days
  • Beach days
  • More ice cream
  • Saturday morning cartoons

In fact, I’m sure I could have created an inventory longer than my usual Christmas list, including a ton of things that either tasted, felt, or looked good.

It didn’t occur to me until later in life that some of the best things are …

Tiny Wisdom: When Relationships Are Messy

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” ~Emily Kimbrough

I just finished my second family visit for the year, and I have three more planned.

For years after I first moved away a decade ago, I only came home around the holidays.

I’d caused and dealt with so much drama that it felt easiest to hide with my pain and shame where I couldn’t hurt people or be hurt by them. I felt safest seeing my family in small doses, because there would be less time for me …

Tiny Wisdom: Set Your Mind Free

“Would you rather be right or free?” ~Byron Katie

Several months back, I saw a live taping of Oprah’s Life Class, which she hosted with Iyanla Vanzant, author of Peace from Broken Pieces and other self-help books.

At one point during the episode, Iyanla discussed an exchange she’d had the week prior with a viewer who’d Skyped in. The young woman had called her family crazy, referencing Iyanla’s oft-quoted advice, “If you see crazy coming, cross the street.”

But in this instance, Iyanla had scolded the woman for disrespecting her parents, regardless of how dysfunctional they may have been, because, …

Tiny Wisdom: What Stuff Are You Holding on to and Why?

“Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” ~Steve Mariboli

While preparing today’s reader-submitted post about Spring-cleaning, I started to think about my collection of old journals, which I wrote from age twelve through twenty-one.

Many of these are depressing. They paint a picture of a sad, lost little girl who struggled with self-esteem and chose a number of self-destructive habits to cope with overwhelming pain.

On many occasions, I’ve considered burning these to symbolize transformation, but a part of me always resists.

On some level, I see these as badges of honor. They’re reminders of who …

Tiny Wisdom: When We Hurt People Because We’re Hurting

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz 

The other day I received a comment on an old blog post that started with, “You’re full of crap,” and ended with, “I don’t know, and idiots like you don’t help us figure it out.”

Shortly after, I received an email from a new blogger who recently contributed to the site. She mentioned she’d received her first harsh comment, and she wanted to know if this is normal, and how she should deal with it.

I told her she will likely …

Giveaway and Interview: The Mindful Manifesto

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

If you read this site regularly, odds are you’re familiar with mindfulness, and you may even meditate regularly.

It’s a simple practice that can dramatically improve our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, since it helps ground us in the present moment, and frees us from the burden of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Whether you’re new to mindfulness or not, you’ll likely …

Tiny Wisdom: We Are Here, We Are Loved

“Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don’t unravel.” ~Unknown

The other night I flew home to Massachusetts, after visiting just a couple months back to spend time with my sick grandmother.

Since she was released from the hospital in February, she’s been staying with my parents, which means I’ll have plenty of opportunities to simply be with her during this trip—not for lunch or a specific activity, but simply to share space.

Though I enjoy seeing her because I love her, I also appreciate how being in her company reminds me of what matters in life.

As I …

Tiny Wisdom: Follow Your Bliss

“Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” ~Joseph Campbell

Recently I’ve been feeling this need to grow and expand. I’ve been doing the same thing here for about three years now, and I’ve identified a long list of things I know I don’t want to do—but aside from writing my next book, I haven’t felt a strong pull in any other direction.

Then this weekend I had an idea for a new creative project—something that has absolutely nothing to do with Tiny Buddha. In fact, it’s geared …

Tiny Wisdom: Choose to Enjoy Your Choices

“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” -Marquis de Condorcet

Last Saturday I decided to take a mid-day bath, just because I felt like it. I’d been working from home (since Monday starts my “weekend”) and I felt like I needed to take a break and recharge.

Not two minutes into my relaxing soak, I heard loud fiesta music coming from somewhere outside.

There’s a little park close to my apartment, and families frequently reserve the space for birthday parties, complete with barbecues and blow-up bouncy houses.

Whenever I walk by one of these events, I …

Tiny Wisdom: This Moment is a Chance to Be Free

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~Shirley Maclaine

Have you ever felt like you were drowning in negativity?

Maybe you were feeling down on yourself, but instead of pulling yourself up, you made yourself feel bad for struggling with yourself in this way.

Or maybe you made a mistake, but instead of forgiving yourself, you beat yourself up over it, rehashing everything you should have done.

It’s all too easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity. Even if we practice yoga, meditate, or start our mornings with positive affirmations, we can fall down, and find …

Tiny Wisdom: Do You Let Advice Cloud Your Judgment?

“A wise man makes his own decisions; an ignorant man follows public opinion.” –Chinese Proverb

As you may remember from a recent post, I’m planning to have surgery soon to remove benign uterine tumors, known as fibroids.

Although I felt certain then that this is the right thing to do, I’ve vacillated quite a bit—mostly because I’ve been listening to too many other people.

Some have advised me to try alternative methods to shrink the fibroids, including herbs and positive thinking. Others have reminded me this surgery could have undesirable complications and a rough recovery. And then there have been …

The Possibility of Today Video Interview with Lori Deschene

I have done everything in my power to avoid video interviews. When I did my blog tour for my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, I did mostly written interviews, after pushing for that. As a writer, I enjoy taking time to gather my thoughts and communicate precisely what I want to say.

But I’m far less enthused when it comes to being on camera—especially when that camera is a webcam that’s two feet away from my face.

Still, when my new friend Sibyl of The Possibility of Today suggested a video interview, I decided to …

Giveaway and Interview: Hike Your Own Hike by Francis Tapon

Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha to receive free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

If you’ve spent any time traveling, you likely know the amazing sense of freedom and possibility that comes from exploring the world.

My boyfriend likes to note the distinction between vacationing and traveling.

Vacations often entail relaxation, rejuvenation, and recreation, and we usually plan them well in advance. Travel, on the other hand, tends to involve more spontaneity, uncertainty, and adventure, whether …