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Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.

Lori Deschene's Website

Pema Chodron Retreat Giveaway

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Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. Subscribe to the Tiny Buddha List to learn about future contests!

Last week, I received an email from the marketing team at Shambhala Publications informing me about the upcoming “Smile-at-Fear” retreat, to be hosted by Pema Chödrön.

This three-day event, focused on wisdom from Pema’s teacher, Chögyam Trungpa, will take place in Richmond, California from October 15–17. Since Pema rarely hosts events of this nature, it sold out pretty quickly, but there’s still a chance to learn what she has to share.

Shambhala Publishing has decided to bring the retreat …

Mindful Technology: Simplify Email & Reduce Inbox Stress

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Up until recently, I received communication online in ten different places.

In addition to getting messages through Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and StumbleUpon, I got emails through six different email accounts. I have not always managed this ever-flowing stream of information in the most mindful and productive way.

Studies show that we actually get a little endorphin rush when something new pops up in the inbox. It’s almost as if an email, direct message, or blog comment confirms that we’re important—that someone somewhere values us and needs our attention, expertise, or approval.

I’ll admit it: I enjoy seeing there’s a new …

Tiny Wisdom: On Anxiety

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“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Only we can choose the way we feel, no one else.

We don’t have to be the victim of our circumstances, the people around us, or the things we can’t control. Some things may hurt us and we’ll have feelings to deal with. But whenever we’re ready, we can choose to move on.

Want to feel happier? Spend some time doing something you enjoy. Want to feel peaceful? Take a break and breathe deeply or meditate. Don’t worry about the …

25 Awesome Things We Take for Granted Most Days

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“It’s not a bad idea to occasionally spend a little time thinking about things you take for granted. Plain everyday things.” ~Evan Davis

Some mornings I open my eyes and immediately start thinking about everything I have to do.

I don’t notice the sun shining through my blinds.

I don’t imagine all the things that could go right in my day, as Srinivas Rao suggested in his awesome post How to Wake up Every Morning on Top of the World.

Instead, I immediately home in on my to-do list and all the mini fires I plan to avoid.

On …

Tiny Wisdom: On What’s Past

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“Stay away from what might have been and look at what will be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

Everyone has something they might do differently if they could back in time. It’s a natural consequence of learning and growing.

The happiest people focus not on what they should have done if only they knew then, but instead on what they can do right now with the knowledge they have gained. No matter how helpless you may feel, you can do more than you think.

Today you will make hundreds of mini-decisions that will create what will be. You’ll have people to meet, …

Tiny Wisdom: On Planning

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“Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” -John Lennon

Take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground, exhale, look around, repeat. What would you do with your life if you knew today was part of it, not a means to it?

photo by mindfulness

Tiny Wisdom: On Building

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“Almost everything comes from nothing.” -Henri F. Amiel

No matter where you are now in the pursuit of your dreams, know that people who’ve done what you’d like to do started right where you stand.

You have limitless power to create the future you visualize if you’re willing to dream, plan, and work.

Don’t worry about what you don’t know. You’ll learn. Don’t stress about how much you’ll have to do. You can only do it one thing at a time.

Just start where you are, take the first step, and then watch your nothing evolve.

Photo by Josep Ma. …

Do, Adjust, Do: A Journey to Meaningful, Satisfying Work

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“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

I couldn’t drive, drink, vote, or stay out after nine, and yet I had two jobs.

I started working just before I turned twelve. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew early on I’d need to work if I wanted to do fun things, like go to music camp.

After school, I went to a program for kids where I led them in creative activities, like singing and arts and crafts. On the weekends, I ran the dozen …

A Year of Tiny Buddha and a New Design!

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Happy day! As you can see, tinybuddha.com has a new design.

Earlier this week, I mentioned I was excited to launch this new site in conjunction with the one-year anniversary.

In that somewhat long post, I announced three book giveaways I planned to conduct in celebration, outlined the milestones from Tiny Buddha’s journey thus far, and listed the most popular posts in multiple categories, including:

  • Happiness
  • Fun
  • Relationships
  • Mindfulness
  • Passion and Purpose
  • Being Good to Yourself
  • Change
  • The Beauty of Life
  • Peace of Mind

If you haven’t already, you can read that post here.

If you have already …

Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

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“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” -Eckhart Tolle

Things might not happen for a reason, but we can always find a reason to move on enriched.

We can let disappointments devastate us, or we can move on in humility, finding opportunities within the hardship.

We can let frustrations consume us, or we can foster a sense of peace and balance, choosing not to live in a constant state or reaction to our circumstances.

We can let dissatisfaction gnaw away at our spirits, assuming it’s too late to create life as we want …

Book Review & Giveaway: Hand Wash Cold

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Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. They are:

  • KimCanDoIt
  • Shonda Scarborough
  • The Sunrise Project
  • Emily Meerstra

When I first saw the title of Karen Maezen Miller’s book, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, I wondered how many people might feel hesitant to define their lives that way.

Most of us don’t want to be ordinary. We want to be special. We want to live bold, extraordinary lives punctuated by moments of passion, excitement, and adventure.

We want to fill our days with people, things, and activities that make us feel vibrant, and …

Approaching the Site’s 1-Year Anniversary (Giveaways!)

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It’s a pretty exciting week in Tiny Buddha world. Several months back, I decided to have Tiny Buddha redesigned.

Well, we decided.  There is an amazing man named Joshua Denney who has done a lot of work on the site.

It’s through his passion, expertise, and hard work that we’ll have a completely new design at the end of this week.

One of the reasons I’m excited to launch the new site this week is that Thursday is the site’s one-year anniversary.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to do a few things:

1. Conduct a series of book giveaways …

Tiny Wisdom: On Yesterday

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“Letting go of the past means that you can you enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

If you’re lost in your head, rehashing or obsessing, you miss all the little things that make life feel full and satisfying.

You don’t notice the small gestures that show people love you; they seem like everyday courtesies that don’t warrant consideration. You don’t acknowledge the trees and flowers that make your space beautiful; they fade into your peripheral vision like part of the furniture.

The little things are the big things. Happiness is paying attention. Give yourself permission …

Tiny Wisdom: On Risks

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“It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” ~Seneca

Taking the path of least resistance actually requires a lot of resistance. It’s human nature to want to soar! To venture out, explore the world, expand ourselves and our minds and live with passion, enthusiasm, and abandon.

You might be doing that already, whatever that means to you. Or you may be containing yourself into a safe, predictable box, assuming everything outside it is far beyond your reach.

It’s not—it’s not nearly as far away as you think.…

Tiny Wisdom: On Appreciation

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“Appreciation is an excellent thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us, as well.” -Voltaire

There’s work to do. And things to accomplish. And places to get to. And people to please.

There’s futures to create. And pasts to forget. And an endless string of days full of hours to be filled. We often spend then running, fantasizing, or waiting, hoping it eventually turns into something good enough. Something worth valuing, something worth appreciating, something worth enjoying.

If we’re not deliberate, we can easily live life hopping from distraction to distraction, biding our time for something better. …

Tiny Wisdom: On Understanding

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“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

Sometimes resentment and anger may seem involuntary, like reactions you have to indulge for a length of time proportionate to how badly you were wronged. It might even feel like your anger is a justified retaliation, and you’d be weak if you let it go.

The irony is that after we’ve been hurt, we choose to continue hurting ourselves. Bitterness never feels good, no matter where it’s rooted.

Psychologists suggest that when other people make mistakes, we tend to assign them character flaws (i.e.: he’s selfish, …

Tiny Wisdom: On Choices

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“We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” -Sogyal Rinpoche

Nothing is as discouraging as feeling you don’t have a choice—that you’re trapped in a situation you can’t change, with a person who won’t change, or with feelings about yourself that you’ve stopped believing you can change.

We’ve all been there before.

We’ve accepted thankless jobs just to make ends meet. We’ve hurt or watched friends hurting, feeling powerless to end the pain. We’ve waited for love, or mourned unrequited love, or wondered if it was really better to …

7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty So You Can Be Happier and Less Anxious

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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

In three weeks, my boyfriend and I might move from the Bay area to LA, or we might move in here with roommates if he decides not pursue a film career.

I am starting a new work-from-home writing gig to pay my bills while I write my book. It might be something I can do in under two days a week, or it may require more time. It may provide enough money, or I might need to get some …

4 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Running Tiny Buddha

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“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

I have been working on Tiny Buddha for over two years, and yet I’ve rarely written about my experiences running it.

I haven’t told you anything about my own challenges, opportunities, and lessons in maintaining the site, and it occurred to me today that that might be valuable information.

You probably have a Tiny Buddha in your own life—something you created that you’re absolutely in love with. Or maybe you haven’t found it yet, but you want to build something that drives you like nothing …

Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

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“What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

We spend so much of our lives looking for meaning—a sense that it all makes sense or will in the end—that we sometimes drive ourselves crazy trying to make the moment good enough. To do the right work, have the right relationships, make the right decisions, make the right impact so hopefully our lives will matter. We’ll matter.

All that struggling, striving, and racing toward something better can make the moment feel like something to escape …