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5 Lessons Pain Taught Me About Love

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“If there is love in your heart, it will guide you through your life. Love has its own intelligence.” ~Sadhguru

Love was something I craved for most of my life. I dreamed that one day, a person would come into my life, preferably a man, who would love me and save me from my painful suffering filled with emptiness and desperation.

Even when I was single, which I was quite often and for prolonged periods, I would fantasize about a perfect relationship with someone who’d understand and accept me even in my worst moments. I wanted a partner and a …

How I Healed from Addiction One New Belief at a Time

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“Recovery is all about using our power to change our beliefs that are based on faulty data.” ~Kevin McCormick

I struggled with what I would consider a disconnect with myself from a very young age. I was born a free spirit, curious and interested in so many things. I was also very shy and sensitive. I was not the type to be put in a box or expected to conform to the norm. That just wasn’t me. I needed to be accepted and supported for who I was.

Instead, my well-meaning parents attempted to “domesticate” me, especially my father. I …

What Unconditional Self-Love Looks Like

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” ~Louise L. Hay

When I first began painting my art over twenty years ago, it was not my intention to paint about self-love. In fact, at that time, I had no idea what self-love was. I was just painting as a form of therapy.

A few years prior, I thought that I did know what self-love was, but then, when I lost my health to a chronic illness and could no longer do the things I once had been able to do, I lost my ability to …

Beyond the Inner Critic: Choosing a New Reality

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“To think new thoughts, you have to break the bones in your head.” ~Jean-Paul Sartre

Respectfully, Mr. Sartre, I disagree. This is that story, and it’s not for the faint of heart.

Today Was a Bad Day

Oh no, not again!

The walls were closing in on me, and I could see their faces all flustered and red.

Why are they yelling at me? I mean, are they yelling at me?

I could feel the tension in the room; I just couldn’t hear anything. Well, actually, yeah, I could.

I could hear her.

I could hear Annabelle.

I knew it …

My Path to Purpose and an Unexpected Impact

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I wanted to be Mary Tyler Moore’s “Mary Richards” TV character from the 1970s. She had exactly what I wanted: independence and an exciting life! But growing up as the first girl in a traditional Italian family, I knew she was not the right role model.

Nonetheless, I ignored the expected path (much to my parents’ dismay) and spent twelve years in corporate America becoming Mary. That is, until two questions rocked my world. I dramatically left my job, career, and Mary for a more purposeful path that was mine, and I never looked back.

As a nine-year-old girl in …

6 Mindset Shifts to Overcome the Need for External Validation

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“Relying on external validation to understand your worth is not sustainable. If you depend on people to build you up, you also give them the same power to break you down. You are worthy regardless of their opinion.” ~Unknown

In my heart of hearts, I knew I wasn’t supposed to rely on others for validation. Yet, for the longest time, I found myself seeking external approval to define my worth.

I was constantly seeking reassurance from friends, family, and even strangers. Their validation became the measure of my self-esteem, leaving me trapped in a cycle of doubt and insecurity.…

Forge Your Own Path: How to Know When It’s Time to Walk Away

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“Walk away from people who put you down. Walk away from fights that will never be resolved. Walk away from trying to please people who will never see your worth. The more you walk away from things that poison your soul, the healthier you will be.” ~Shaista Saba

“Are you coming to my dress fitting tomorrow?” Sam asked.

Holding the phone to my ear, puzzled, I replied, “I didn’t know you had a dress fitting tomorrow.”

My stepsister, Sam, paused. “Didn’t Mom invite you?”

“No, but I’d love to come,” I offered.

“Oh, I assumed she asked you. You’re my …

The Magic of Celebrating Every Little Win

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“Celebrate what you want to see more of.” ~Tom Peters

In a world that often only celebrates grand achievements, it’s easy to overlook the small victories that pave the way to lasting change.

BJ Fogg, PhD, a Stanford behavioral scientist and author of the transformative book Tiny Habits, offers a powerful insight: If we want to get great at creating habits, we must celebrate. He insists that immediately after we do our new habit, or even approximate it, we must celebrate. This. Isn’t. Optional.

Why is celebration so crucial? That’s what wires the habit into our brain. When we …

4 Ways to Help Someone with Mental Health Challenges

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“Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless.” ~Dave G. Llewellyn

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone told you something deeply personal and traumatic and you were stuck on what to say to them, how to act, and how to behave?

This happens to me regularly, and it’s not that I don’t have feelings or emotions about what’s happened to the person. I feel deeply sorry for them. But I sometimes freeze and don’t know what to say or do.

When it comes to mental health issues, this can be even …

The Truth About Grieving: There Are No Rules for Healing

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Here’s what I know about grief: There is no measuring stick.

The loss of a mother, father, sister, brother (or all of the above), the loss of a husband, wife, lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, or life partner, the loss of a best friend, dear friend, or close friend, the loss of a mentor, teacher, guider, inspirer… Who’s to measure? Who’s to say how profoundly those losses may or may not break our hearts?

There are no rules.

The loss of a happy, loving relationship may be far easier to survive than the loss of a troubled one.

A lover may feel …

The Amazing Healing Power of Talking About Our Anxiety

By in Blog

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I have dealt with anxiety for as long as I can remember. There are times when I don’t experience it and times when it seems unbearable. It’s sort of like a rollercoaster that just never stops. And I am the first person to admit that anxiety can take over your life if it goes unmanaged.

The toughest part about anxiety is that it can be hard

…

The Ultimate Guide to Better Boundaries

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“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” ~Prentis Hemphill

I was talking with a friend about some aspect of a challenging relationship (I don’t even remember what it was now), and she lovingly informed me that I needed better boundaries. I nodded in understanding, but later I realized that I didn’t really know what that meant. Like, what do better boundaries actually look like? And how does one go about developing them?

It’s all fine and dandy to know that “No” is a complete sentence, but how does that apply to a …

Lessons from a Late Bloomer Who Wanted to Be Famous

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“You are not too old and it is not too late.” ~Unknown

I’ve been indecisive since I was a child. When I was small, I wanted to be a ballet dancer. My parents even bought me a ballerina cake topper for one of my birthdays. As I grew a little older, I wanted to be a singer, which led me to go to a performing arts high school. I even learned how to read music notes and play a little piano during my time at that school.

I believe my desire to be a singer was influenced by my experience

…

The Beautiful Gift of Finding Presence in The Ordinary

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“For a long time, it had seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last, it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”~Alfred D. Souza

I recently came across an old photo album from when I was in my twenties. All these snippets of my life back then—going out clubbing, those harsh Canadian winters, walking in the back field

…

8 Compelling Reasons to Adopt a Whole Food Diet

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“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.” ~Ann Wigmore

Why aren’t we taught optimal nutrition in school as adolescents?

I remember briefly learning about the food pyramid, which doesn’t even include water, by the way.

Do you want to know what I vividly remember? Growing up during the peak of diet culture, when models and actresses who were unrealistically skinny were the only ones who were considered pretty or good enough.

My dad died from a heart attack at age forty, and my single mother …

Share Your Truth: 4 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

By in Blog

“If you want to live an authentic, meaningful life, you need to master the art of disappointing and upsetting others, hurting feelings, and living with the reality that some people just won’t like you. It may not be easy, but it’s essential if you want your life to reflect your deepest desires, values, and needs.” ~Cheryl Richardson

Last week, I was at the studio where I teach, and one of the teachers was running late. Her students began arriving, so I came out of the office where I was working and started welcoming them, directing them into the room for …

How to Deal with Worries

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“A lot of what weighs you down isn’t yours to carry.” ~Unknown

What are you worried about right now? No matter how hard we try to not worry, and even when we know that stress is terrible for our health, worry inevitably seeps into our boundaries for one reason or another. Chronic stress causes wear and tear on our bodies, potentially leading to a number of health ailments.

This terrifies me as a person with many stress points in her life, and as a widowed only parent of three young children. I want to live a long, healthy life so …

Join the Writers Rising Retreat – 10% Off for Tiny Buddha Readers!

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I believe that most, if not all, of us want the same things in life.

We want to feel seen. Want to be heard. We want to own our truth and express ourselves. And we want to believe we’re making a positive impact—to feel like we matter and that we’re leaving an indelible mark on the people around us in our short time here on this earth.

That’s what writing has done for me, and I’m guessing for many of you too.

But whether you’re creatively blocked or just full of self-doubt, it’s not easy to write consistently.

Instead of …

How My Old Dog Taught Me New Tricks

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“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” ~Lao Tzu

With two rambunctious kids, a stressful job, and a house to maintain, life was hectic. For many years, my children begged for a dog, and I would always say, “When you are older and life slows down a bit.”

Time was ticking by, but life was no less chaotic when my then preteens made yet another pitch. With more than a little trepidation, we brought home a little ball of Golden Doodle fluff who we called Murphy. How much trouble could he be?

In a short time, our cute puppy …

Feeling Depleted? How to Overcome Your Internal Barriers to Resting

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“Rest is not necessarily a cessation of all activity but a means of going inward, going deeper. Rest is what allows us to go beneath the surface, if we make the time for it. Rest gives us the gift of perspective, and rest invites us into new ways of being and showing up in the world.” ~Ashely Neese

I was probably about sixteen when my dad and I were driving down Main Street in our small town at about 1 or 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

As my dad looked out the passenger seat window, he noticed a man out …