Thanks Chelsea :-).

I like how you shared about your experience with the Keto approach.  I was toying with several kinds of diets and your testimonial on how easy it was to do made me want to try it.

Mark

Jacq,

Love is a verb.  It takes commitment, conscientiousness, mindful action and maturity.

There are different phases/stages of love.  It is good to know that everyone goes through these phases.  Some don’t make it to the “end” where true, lasting and mature love is practiced.

Basically you go through the “honeymoon, stars-in-your-eyes” phase, then committing as a couple phase,  then the … from an online article … there is the falling out of romantic love, disillusionment phase where  …

“Everyone goes through this stage, even the most adoring, passionate couples you know. In a culture that focuses almost solely on romantic love, it can be very alarming when you realize the rush is gone, the passion has vanished, and your spouse no longer makes your pulse race.

Think of this time as a chance to see your partner for what he really is and decide if you made the right choice.

“Nature made (this phase) for a reason: when you lose the chemicals that give you the euphoria, you start to see reality,” Nour said. “This is a re-evaluation phase. If you feel that, overall, you made a pretty good choice… hang in there.”

People who chase romance and divorce the moment they fall out of love will never experience true love, he said. But if you truly realize you made a mistake, this may be the time to break up and start all over with a new partner. If you don’t fall out of love, you can’t fall in love with somebody else because the human brain is programmed to love one person at a time.”

Mark

crawford,

I assume that you have had a full, medical physical examination to determine that there is nothing physically wrong with you?

Our health is not segmented between our physical bodies and our emotional aspects plus I believe that our spiritual wellbeing is connected as well.  Mind-Body-Spirit.

It is well known and proven that how we think, what we believe, and how we feel affects our physical health.

Being always anxious and stressed can certainly be the cause of your low weight.

You may want to consider coming out to help with your anxiety and stress.

Mark

Those dogs are beautiful!  Walking/running your dog is good exercise.  If you have time then try extending your walks and/or having more walks.

I have a sweet mutt I got from the Humane Society when he was 4.  He is now 10.

They told me that Bodhi is a Blue Heeler mix but he looks more like a German Short Hair Pointer.  I think the Blue Heeler part is the coloring of black with white speckles.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Mark.

Ally, I cannot answer your question on when will you ever feel safe to feel happy again.

You have felt happy before and there is no reason why you cannot do so again.  Trust that. Trust yourself in being able to do so again.

Can you sit quietly and capture that safe feeling in your body?  When you find that safe feeling, where does it show up in your body?  Hang out there.  Hold that feeling like a baby.  Stay with it.  Allow it to permeate your whole being.   Smile when you are feeling that.

There is a Metta meditation that goes into feeling safe which is a good practice.  You can Google that.  Susan Saltzberg has a good video of that.

Hugs,
Mark

Kelly,

You say that you feel like you are imprisoned by his life and you can’t move on unless his does.

Note what you wrote.  You used the word “imprisoned.”  That is a strong word to use.  Is that a way to live your life, being held prisoner?

Whether you are codependent or not, you are putting your life on hold for a man who is not available for you and probably won’t be after he finalizes his divorce.

Common therapeutic wisdom for dealing with people who are still in or just out of a long term relationship is to give them a year after the divorce papers have been signed before you date them.  They need that long in order to figure out their life on their own.  They need that time to process the past relationship, figure out how to manage it with the children, emotionally heal and become independent.  Men tend to want to be taken care of so they look for another relationship immediately after the previous one ends.

Mark

I totally get you about how hard it can be cutting out carbs.  The other thing you may want to avoid is processed foods.

What is the job you are doing now that is not so active?

I’ve always worked desk office jobs.  There are little things you can do that helps during the day such as taking walking breaks often.

Mark