Hi Hamza

I think your honest authentic choice is a good one. It’s where you stand right now. I think the message leaves things open and let’s her know you care.

Wishing you all the best 🙏

Hi Eric

You don’t need to apologize. This is your space, your journal. Please use it as you wish 🙏

It can be difficult to discuss thoughts and feelings. Not everyone is open to that kind of a conversation in daily life.

I can honestly say that I understand what it is like to have anxiety and painful thoughts associated. It is a long and challenging process, but it is possible to get through it in time. It hasn’t disappeared completely for me. But there are times when I don’t feel anxiety and times when it pops back up. However, it’s not as severe as it used to be.

It’s good that you are trying to figure out ways not to feel insecure.

Planning to improve the relationship tells me that you care about it.

You are really developing your planning skills. I remember when you used to struggle with that.

It sounds like you have a belief that if you make a mistake that you will be rejected.

Hi William

Give yourself some time to process. It’s natural to feel confused and disappointed given the circumstances.

Hi William

That’s interesting that you pointed out that she discussed having a second date. It sounds like she was enjoying herself and was on a similar track to you initially.

There’s always the possibility that her circumstances changed. Because you don’t know each other very well she may not wish to discuss it. There are many possible personal reasons why she may have changed her mind. I think that you can be confident that it was nothing to do with you.

It’s a shame that things didn’t work out especially since it’s rarer for you to meet someone that you genuinely enjoy spending time with.

Hi Eric

Go for it, if you’d like to share you don’t need my permission. I have no issues with you posting. The way I think of it is that you like to journal in public and I’m happy to communicate. I was very unwell for the past two weeks. That’s why my communication dropped here and there. It wasn’t because of anything you said or did.

On a side note: I wish you stood up for yourself more. Also, I respect your choice to stay with your partner despite the intense anxiety you have been experiencing. In a way, I think it is a good thing for you. I hope that your anxiety lowers in time as you get used to having a partner.

Wishing you all the best 🙏

Hi Dave

I think that’s an important point she doesn’t have the energy to make more of an effort.

You said she gives all of her energy to the children and she has nothing left afterwards.

Does your wife do most of the housework too?

You mentioned before your last child the relationship was recovering.

Perhaps there is a practical solution. She might need more help with the housework and child care. If not you, can other help be arranged?

Hi Peter

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it is always a pleasure to talk with you! I enjoy your unique perspective. Thank you for sharing the information about other religious practices and their beliefs on rebirth as well.

I think the example of the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve is a good way to conceptualise good and bad concurrently. As a result, we all gained free will. At the same time protection ceased. A choice for arguably a good thing, also results in pain.

You seem to have a good understanding of Buddhism already.

You’re right, Buddhism often contradicts itself. What I’ve experienced is a focus on dualism and non-dualism. Everything is and isn’t at the same time.

Disease of the mind is a concern. A lot of harms from the past, our memory revisits in the present. At the same time, the present and the future can be problematic too. Attachment in general is warned against but at the same time welcomed.

Ultimately, our actions in the present are all we have control over. The present serves as an anchor to train the mind how to function in a healthy way.

There’s also insight into the function of nothingness as the mind is afraid of not existing.

I’m curious if you have any questions, or if I managed to answer your question at all?

Hi Dave!

Welcome! It is brave of you to seek advice about your relationship. It tells me that you genuinely care. You were very honest about the difficulties in your relationship.

I hear your feelings about the one sided intimacy. Intimacy I feel is a very important part of a relationship.

I have a question. If you had a small chance to work on the relationship and repair it would you? Bearing in mind that it is a long challenging process. Is this something that your wife would be interested in?

I don’t think that things should stay the same, that would mean living an unhappy life. But what if there was a chance that you could find a way to work together and both be happy?