I think there is a better chance that she will think it out if you don’t have contact.  When she attends you family gatherings  you could be civil and  polite and leave it at that.

Hello David.  The only advice I could give is that you might benefit from googling Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.  They have a questionnaire, articles and forums. I suspect that you would likely benefit. Like many addictions, some people believe that sexual addictions often develop to fill an b empty void within, and often have origins in our upbringing. I wish you the best.

Hugs and THANK YOU to you both.  I’m finally home, not long ago. All went okay. The tumor was larger than showed up on scan.  I see  surgeon again on 12th April with pathology results which will show if they got it all.

I noticed more technology at the hospital since last time. Had 3 tubes going into me plus oxygen and they gave me a lot of narcotics to keep me as comfortable as possible. It was only discomfort and not pain – especially tubes into my weewees which I didn’t like much. Didn’t get much sleep as the nurses kept coming around. Had some probs with my blood pressure but got all the help I needed.

Doggies don’t come home until tomorrow. I don’t anticipate driving tomorrow. I want to be sure all the narcotics out of my system and I had some today too.

My friend Rosemarie collected me and brought me home. She has been s o wonderful. Son been in regular contact. The one ex I have stayed in contact with every now and then been sending me texts. There was no big breakup with him. It was more of a fade-out with him when I moved to country, but that was not a relationship with a future either. He had been o n his own for 16 years when we got together. Couple mint h s later he was diagnosed with lymphoma. I stayed with him through all that.  By his own account, he gets very grumpy and difficult, and it’s a much better arrangement for me to remainbfriends only. We do share a passion for horses and dogs and he has always had around 6 cats as well.  Lives with his adult daughter near the beach 5 hours away.  He has visited me before and going to pass through in a few weeks.  Been inviting me to go stay with him and his daughter when I can.  I might get there one of these days.

I hope you are both well.  Haven’t seen Pink around for a bit.  Hope she is okay.

Hi Anita and Helacat. I go to hospital for surgery later today in a couple hours. Just going to have a short sleep. I worked 2 sleepovers this weekend and started work 5.30am today. Probably won’t go back T to work u n til Friday.

Missing my dogs as I haven’t seen them 2 days. I’m looking forward to being knocked out with anzesthetic for a few hours as I just want everything to stop for a while. When I came home from work yesterday, I had to mow my grass which takes a few hours then went back to work.

Hopefully by end of this week, I will be feeling better.

Take care and I will post when I can. XXX

Hugs and thank you to both of you.  I’m not working today and though it’s almost midday, I have had to go back to bed. Staff meeting yesterday. We had 3 full-time workers off last week and 2 of our 6 clients with COVID so was exhausting.

I will reply properly later when I have gotten up and showered.

I also wanted to say that despite receiving the same type of abuse as you both, as I read your words, I wanted to punch out both your parents and mine too.  How dare they.

I have no doubt you were both beautiful children.  One of my dogs, I’m quite obsessed with and diet on was very obviously neglected when I got her couple years ago.  I don’t know if she was physically abused – she is so happy, it’s hard to imagine. I wondered if my doting on her is because I feel such love for neglected and abused animals. They are so easy to love and so deserving of kindness. Perhaps so see myself in her and in caring for her, I am caring for myself.  My parents did not like animals and would not permit us to have any.

So much of what happened, I cannot write about. I did discuss in therapy, but it will always be painful. My mother is 85 now and frail. She is losing her mind with dementia.

I could never have treated my child as I was treated. I suppose my son and I are close despite living maybe 350kms from each other. Still, when he was young, I struggled with feeling too unworthy of such a beautiful child.  I spoilt him – but he has grown up to be very confident and is living his dream life.

Dear Emma,

If you happen to be reading this, I really feel for you and what you are going through.  He really wasn’t a quality man.  As hard as it may seem to believe, in time, this will pass.  You will love on and be glad he is no longer in your life.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by HoneyBlossom.

Hi Ada.  Anita gives very sound advice, but I would just like to make a suggestion as your current experience sounds a lot like my most recent partnership was around 2 years ago.  It’s related to to attachment style.

By his own eventual admission, he was a type if commitmentphobe, and would be described as having an avoidant attachment style.  There is a lot online about it.

Generally, people with this attachment style fear being trapped and or suffocated by their partners, and their feelings often become frozen due to the anxiety this causes them.  When they break up, especially if their partners appear to be moving on, they are able to to experience their feelings for their partner again.

There was lot of backward and forwarding in that relationship for me.  As I have an anxious attachment style (I don’t think your ex has this), I had to move on and cut all contact due to to my anxiety.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by HoneyBlossom.