I think it’s great to be a Cause Fighter. And there should be Cause Fighters.

But this is akin to a person buying a kitten and someone saying, “Put the kitten down or give it to a responsible person because animal abuse and neglect is an epidemic”.

And the person (rightly shocked by all this) feels like a bit of a criminal (but she’s not) and is all, “I love animals! Not only would I not abuse or neglect one, I am choosing to take one in.”

Someone: “According to you past post I perceive your life is in shambles. Put the kitten down or give it to someone else. Please look into legal options.”

Person: “I didn’t ask about any of that, I was asking about how to calm myself and the kitten.”

Not only did it not make sense, but it was hurtful to the poster.

It’s kind of like asking, “Where were you on Tuesday the 19th/ at 8PM before you murdered Mr. Smith?”

Person: “Wait ~ What-what did I do now??? And who in the world is Mr. Smith??”

I think we can all agree that the forums should primarily be a safe place. Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually.

And yes, Anita, I also agree with you that if you’re going to have an abortion do it quickly, and if you’re going to have a child make sure you’re the absolutely BEST parent you can, should, and would be!!

Blessings

• This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Inky.
• This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Inky.

Hi Jack,

I did not insult, I did not disrespect, I did not name call, I was not arrogant, and I did not diminish or put anyone down.

I *DID* act as an umpire/”moderator” (yes, I agree we need one) to tell even a well beloved community member that they were out of line.

You don’t tell a woman to consider abortion/adoption in that context.

If you think our friend is/was upset by me saying she “was a little over the top”, what about that poor woman?

Peace,

Inky

• This reply was modified 9 years, 1 month ago by Inky.

Not that I meant to be tactless!!!

Hey, my parents weren’t the greatest either! Narcissistic the both of them! In fact, they really shouldn’t have had children. They were just two gorgeous young people who decided to have a family because that’s what you do! My mom was the original helicopter parent but then dropped us like hot potatoes at the stroke of eighteen. And my dad was out to lunch. Literally.

My sister and I certainly complain about our parents.

But the only perfect parents were Mary and Joseph. But only if you’re religious. And Joseph wasn’t even His dad!! See?

All we can do is be supportive, live in the Now, do our best, and hope for the best.

I apologize for any hurt I caused at my end from being truthful.

Hi Anita,

I didn’t report you for inappropriate content. I only do that for spammers. But if someone suggests to me I abort or adopt, I might! If anyone reported you, it was the Original Poster!!

Dear One, you HAVE to watch not only what you say, but how you say it!

If you’re offended by us disagreeing with you, then imagine how Shun feels by what you wrote!!

This is a Grown Woman you are speaking about and to ~ not a future inadequate parent contributing to an epidemic worldwide problem. I’m assuming that if she has a dwelling place, money, a support system, and is of sound mind ~ that she has what it takes.

If a husband dies or divorces the wife, should then all the children be surrendered to the State or better off not being born? Not at all! There are worse things than being born to an obviously loving mother surrounded by family and friends who is concerned about even if her emotions affect the baby in the womb!

Hi Sara,

**Good Vibes to you Going Forward**
**Good Vibes to You Being Drawn to your Perfect Place as if by a Magnet**
**Jedi Hugs if you want them**

Best,

Inky 🙂

Hi Glenda,

I confess I haven’t been very kind to my sister who is seeing a poorer man. Maybe we do this because it’s like a trial by fire. When couples are 100% about each other, no one would DARE make a comment!

But I will also say that I will make a comment AFTER she has expressed some dissatisfaction towards him.

I’m all, “If you stay with him, then you really have no right to complain. Staying with him means that you’ve essentially given up your right to complain. If you don’t like it, leave.”

Example: She’ll say, “Don’t you see me with someone in the city/rich/runs a foundation/the president of a museum etc.”

Me: “So dump “Paul”.”

Her: “I would NEVER dump “Paul”!!!”

Me: “So this is a fantasy.”

My grandmother would say, “If you want to marry a rich man only meet rich men.”

NOT that you are a gold digger, not at all!! But either stay with him and not complain, have a child anyway and make it work, move to a part of the country that’s cheaper, break up with him, switch careers, etc….. It’s up to you.

Hi Matic,

I’m guessing that he was her HS boyfriend. Now, 99% of the time we are NOT meant to be with the HS boyfriend! That relationship usually dies a natural death. Well, she is clearly with him out of obligation!! Their relationship is a dressed up corpse.

I would say (based purely on sixth sense here) that you can be her roommate and not say anything or move out and then say something. You DON’T want her already uncomfortable situation to be unbearable because you make a confession.

Next year get a double or a single and then tell her.

The most I myself would do is say, “If you get tired of your boyfriend, just let me know!” 😉

Good Luck!

Inky

Hi Sapnap3,

I agree with the self-care. For every mean comment have a spa session at home! I’m not kidding! It reinforces that you are O.K. and WORTH taking care of! When they (try) to tear you down, do something positive to lift yourself up! I’ve actually done THREE spa/self-care/beauty routines! One to counteract the badness, one to feel “normal” and one as an act of symbolic victory!

During one middling year, my DH would devolve into criticism. I honestly didn’t think he knew he was doing it! Well, one day he was working in our barn and saw me outside sitting on a rock ~ luxuriously putting homemade moisturizer on my feet! He huffed out, “What’s going on here??” (My wife is happy! Oh no, not that!) Well, something “shifted”! He saw me relaxed, happy, and doing an act of self care!
He snapped out of whatever spell he was under that year and was “normal” thereafter!

Your boss will eventually see you well rested, happy, perfumed, well dressed, bringing a healthy lunch to work, organized, and with flowers on the desk! Of course, she may amp it up, but simply become more beautiful and happy with more self-care! One day (believe it or not) she may flip over to the Light and treat you with respect! It’s like Darkness battling the Light. Simply light more candles!

Try It! She may never change, but YOU will feel good!

Inky