Alexy,

I hope I read your question right, it was difficult for me to discern who you were talking about at times.

First of all, good for you for taking a break from your conventional girlfriend. Good for you, good for her, good for everyone! You are doing her a favor.

Now, about the freaky girl from England.. She filled momentarily something in your makeup that needed filling. But it sounds like it’s not working. Listen, I am like you in that someone can be in my heart and on my mind for YEARS even after just an occasional meeting with them. I say let Time, Time and more Time do it’s magic.

Here’s to a girl in the near future that will captivate your heart who is local and who is “normal” (meaning with no baggage)!

Blessings,

Inky

Hi pomplemous,

Don’t worry. When I first joined I said “THE WRONG THING” and one particular regular at the time did NOT like it and let me know it!! LOL! But there is no one like that in the group now. We are all questioners, seekers, receivers and gently tough advice givers.

YES you are safe here! It seems me and Anita are constant regulars. I only post once a day and Anita will ask you leading questions. My advice sometimes is NOT popular, but over the past year I’ve found a way to phrase my thoughts so it’s gentle, short and (hopefully) meaningful.

You have YOUR voice. And I for one am open to what you are saying and how you’re saying it.

What I’m saying is: “APPROVED”! 🙂

Best,

Inky

• This reply was modified 10 years, 2 months ago by Inky.

Hi jheel,

Are you guys Indian?? Then I can kind of see the astrology thing. But that seems so backwards. If you truly, TRULY believe in that, then the family should have hired a matchmaker who ONLY introduced “compatible” people to him, and he should never have dated anyone with that potential “dealbreaker” in the background. You can’t have it both ways with living as modern people AND sticking to traditions 100%.

Listen, this frees you up to be with a modern man with a brain who’s not into doing everything his parents say.

But on another note, yes, I was “friends” with an ex. I just conveniently never contacted him or gave him any new contact info!! LOL! He did track me down and we would communicate once a decade or so. Then he desperately wanted to FB Friend me. I eventually gave in. Wouldn’t you know it, now he’s getting married! Now he’s “Hidden” so I don’t see that nonsense at all!

Hi jack,

Someone told me “Be nice but not TOO nice”. Even with myself, I’ll eat a piece of chocolate cake, but I won’t eat the whole cake in one sitting. That’s not being “mean” if I don’t give myself or anyone else the whole cake. Sometimes love, real love, is saying “NO”. A few years ago I had a real oppose-er to my boundaries. And when I stood by my “NO” I lost the friendship. Now, I did love this friend. Even as myself. But no regrets.

So yes, you can (should?) love others as yourself. However, the other people shouldn’t act like jerks! You can, though, even love a jerk. But from a distance.

Inky

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Inky.

Hi pikachumew2,

In a few years YOU will be in a position to raise your brother. Is she abusive to him as well? If so, after graduation and when you have your first apartment and first job, he can (should!) live with you. I personally would keep my head low through college, and only return the house three times ~ for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Summers get a job far away. Then, at the first hint of her abusing your brother or if she ever dares raise her hand against you, CALL the police and then SUE her for FULL custody!

Alternatively, take a self defense course. One Police Hold #7 will not harm her, and will in fact shock her into instant respect.

Believe It!

Blessings,

Inky

Hi sanguine,

1. Something got lost in translation for Steph to suddenly get so angry with you. If it were me I would think that I’m being used for some cheap thrill if I had that kind of reaction.

2. Your wife is playing it cool. As in “I’m the cool wife”. She is PRETENDING to be “OK” with it and not come across as being in any way threatened by “her”.

3. The sudden unfriending/blocking DOES give her the impression in Steph’s mind that you WERE trying to hide her!

4. You cannot “clear your name” now. The only thing is to let time, time, and more time pass. Maybe, just maybe, one day she MIGHT feel like she was overreacting.

5. Why would you be so attached to someone who dumped you decades ago? And on FB I don’t chat, even with my real life friends. It’s OK to Message or post on their Wall once in a very blue moon, but we 40 something year olds have better things to do, don’t you agree??

Disclaimer: My advice (above) is NOT popular, but it DOES work a lot of the time!

Your other option is to tell him, “It’s not working”.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Inky.