Hi Helen,

Snapping at your loved ones is a bad habit. Yes, it probably originated in your youth, but the truth is, this is ENTIRELY within your control. View it as a bad habit to break and something you should be more mindful about.

Being in a secret relationship with your best friend who is also a business partner would make me cranky, too LOL. If it doesn’t work out, the business could suffer and your friendship could as well! I see you two ultimately getting married or eventually breaking up. There is no in between. At the very least shout the relationship from the rooftops! You exist, and your relationship does too.

Best,

Inky

Hi Allen,

Your ecstatic emotions and the other girl’s suicidal lows are both part of bipolar disorder. Not to say you can’t love deeply with bipolar, but the emotions tend to be extreme. It also sounds like your new love can’t handle the massive emotions either.

It’s best if you both stay away from each other for now as it looks like you are feeding off each other.

My second thought is I don’t like how these two women are trying to manipulate you.

First of all, your ex shouldn’t continue to ARGUE that the breakup isn’t valid. Your “NO” is enough. You are broken up, whether she wants it or not.

Secondly, your non posting of the new love on social media shouldn’t put her in downward suicidal spiral.

Take a break from these two.

Good Luck!

Inky

Hi James,

I would tell him that you are dating other people. You can still date him as well! He will be stunned, stymied and might possibly lash out. But once he realizes that you are seeing other people who might treat you better, and heck, might even BE better, he could very well try to clean up his act.

Just say you want to have fun and be happy in your relationship with him and the way to do that is to keep it light, occasional and casual. That the relationship can become more serious as HE becomes more serious about getting help.

Of course, he could get very, very angry at this and break up with you. But that’s just as well, isn’t it?

Treating people well, and treating people badly is a habit. It’s time for him to get used to treating you with respect.

Good Luck,

Inky

Hi modalsoul,

Your BF sounds like a lovable, yet clueless dude. He is just “there”. Except he’s not even “there” because you guys are long distance. I don’t know why but we’re getting A LOT of long distance relationship questions. Do people even date locally anymore?? LOL

Anyway, I give the same advice: You can’t really change someone into feeling or being a certain way. (Some people seem to be able to. We’re not those people though.) And long distance relationships seldom work out.

Find a nice boy in the college you’re at!

Blessings,

Inky

Hi Jasmine,

I agree with Miranda’s suggestion, especially the last part on how to powerfully and gracefully end it.

Just say, “I can’t take someone seriously who “Likes” photos from all these girls going back years.”

Then when he (tries to) dismiss your concerns, shake your head like he’s a little brother you feel sorry for and dismiss him.

Best,

Inky

Hi Patricia,

Maybe the “tiny bump” wasn’t as tiny as you thought. Sometimes people can inadvertently kill the love. If he disappointed you, called you names, etc. that could tarnish that “in love” feeling you used to experience.

But even if he was perfectly perfect, we humans only experience that “in love” euphoria for about a year or so. Then it levels out into simply Love, which is real and longer lasting.

Hope this helps!

Inky

Hi cnashh,

You were not **married** to any of your previous boyfriends. Sometimes we have to go after what our heart truly wants, even if it does mean hurting other people.

I wish you bravery. Bravery to contact Justin, to see where he stands and yes, even to make the first move.

Good Luck!

Inky

Hi Maria Mango,

The problem with long distance relationships is that they’re… long distance! So you put all (ALL!) your energy and attention to texts and video chats. Which only actively engage you for a short while. When you actually see him in the flesh, you will spend (effortlessly) more time together hanging out and doing nothing than you even did communicating long distance.

This reminds me of how I was the greatest parent, but only when I was pregnant LOL! I read all the books and planned and prepared… and the baby wasn’t even here yet. You’re kind of doing the same thing. Putting all your energy and worry into a relationship that is not physically tangible now.

Nothing’s actually happening or going wrong, so you’re making up little stories of how you’re messing it all up from a thousand miles away.

Of course, you could be the perfect girlfriend and he could still break up with you because of the long distance.

I say you’re doing great! Don’t sweat it.

Blessings,

Inky

P.S. Don’t move in together. From my observations THAT will be the thing to kill a relationship!