Dear N @chameleon

You are obviously in a lot of distress so I am not sure how much I will be able to help you.

You are oozing negativity to the max by saying things such as “making sure the helpless parents who screwed you up don’t starve and wind up homeless, it’s not really a choice….. Oh, they’re adults, they can take care of themselves,’ but if they could, they would be”……

Hey, can you try and make sense of what you have written above, pls.

You are responsible for your state of mind (either happy, sad, choiceless, negative, positive etc) and others are responsible for their state of mind BUT you both are not responsble for each other’s state of mind. SO why are you making others responsible for your state of being and vice versa ?

If you are not able to carry out a task or live with a choice positively, you might as well not carry it out. Your action is not going to bear you positive fruit nor is it going to bring happiness into other people’s lives. You are just creating more and more painful karmas for yourself – probably out of ignorance.

If you wish to take out an insurance policy and do what you want to do, who is stopping you ? Have you thought of the reasons for why you are still existing ? Are you trying to run away from reality or you do not have the courage to face yourself ? How do you know that the reality on the other end (after death) is not worse off ?

It is YOUR choice to spend your entire life in a lose-lose situation. I am not responsible for that nor are your parents nor is anyone else. You are an adult now and you have a free will to sort your life out. However, if you wish to just continue pushing the blame to everything else but yourself, keep doing so.

Recite this to yourself a few times, “I am not responsible for other people’s state of mind or existence. I am ONLY responsible for my state of mind or existence”

Hope you find the release that you need.

Best wishes,

Jasmine

Hi Yoda428

Your post put a huge smile on my face. Thanks for that 🙂

Calm down, will yah ? Go easy on self. It is not the end of the world. The silver lining is that you came on TB and you will get lots of advices on how to turn things around for yourself.

I have one simple principle in life: If you are nice to yourself, no one in the world can be nasty to us including external circumstances or situations. You need to be kind to yourself mate. Shit happens. So what ? Just keep flowing 🙂 If you find it hard to flow with how your life is then try and find some people or countries who have got it harder than you. It will bring you back to earth and reality.

You are awesome whether you choose to believe it or not as yet.

Best wishes,

Jasmine

Thanks everyone.

Hi Alpal @aliaalbastaki, please pardon my ignorance. So what is the verdict ? What is it that is bothering you at core level ? You appear to have agreed with everyone’s comments on this thread. I am left confused as to how you are going to move forward ? He he. Care to explain please. You can be honest here as no one is going to judge you. Everyone is anonymous here 🙂

“Recently I have gotten married to the love of my life and it just seems as if a lot of the people I know have changed on me, could this really mean that they are all just jealous” – I am focussing on the A LOT OF THE PEOPLE here and not just one friend.

Jasmine

Thanks @monklet Will

Appreciate your insight. I understand the concept of “Me” that you describe and I have no confusion in my mind about the concept. Confusion arises when we do not get to experience it first hand and only have other people’s words or wisdom to go based on. I think we both need to go and meditate more he he he he

I do not believe Blissful22 would be too worried about the hijack of this thread. All of us can learn from your wisdom and insight here.

Nighty Nighty

Jasmine

@monklet

Hi Will

Thanks for your query. I think you may have misunderstood what I wrote. I will try to clarify 🙂

Whose intelligence are you using ? Self or non-self ? I suspect it is Will’s intelligence, yeah ? So you obviously believe in yourself to use your intellectual powers for querying things. On another hand, if I didn’t believe in myself, I would be questioning myself and not the world, yeah ? Correct me if I am wrong. When I am questioning myself, what emotion am I using ? Fear or love ? Self doubt is a fear based emotion or love based emotion ?

Who is Will ? Why are you a student of Buddhism if you didn’t believe in Will enough to pursue this religion ? Could it be to understand yourself better ? Could it be to understand something about Will and his / her purpose in this world and how to live in harmony with your nature ? Could it be to get closer to being a more loving Will ?

I am not a Buddhist so I am not sure what doctrine you are referring to when you talk about “non-self”.

Study of self (YOU, Will etc) and how you interact with the nature around forms a huge part of evolving. People choose to this evolving in different forms such as using an intellectual enquiry, religion, or being a student of Buddhism etc.

Does this make more sense ?

@eaglestare

hey patricia

I could relate to your post as my 2 poodles join us in meditation as well and more or less any social outing that we do as a family unit. Well to be honest, the younger one is not interested in meditation currently he he he. Dogs have brought so much love and contentment into our lives 🙂

@eaglestare

We all mourn over something or other in this life when we face loss.

Always remember, nothing stays the same. We continue to flow. Sadness is impermanent, happiness in material things is impermanent, mourning is impermanent. After some time, you will feel well and life will go back to trading as usual with lots of happy memories. We are wired for adaptability. We have the genetic code to move on, which is so important for our sanity.

Best wishes for your forward journey with hubby and Shasta. My dogs send their sloppy kisses and cuddles for you all 🙂

Jasmine

@anonymous

🙂 Selfless service it is to soothe our worn out souls.

J